I like strong and independent women!

[Aspychata]

This has been the most entertaining read l have had in a long time. I think a little more maturity is the answer here but until then l like to see the male thought processes and this was a great example of this. l couldn't even make this up.

 

[TheGuyWithTheTacoma]

This has been the most entertaining read l have had in a long time. I think a little more maturity is the answer here but until then l like to see the male thought processes and this was a great example of this. Cheers

It has definitely been an experience.

 

[TheGuyWithTheTacoma]

My name is Charlie! I was referring to myself! I had no idea what your name was...

 

[Kalinychta]

This has been the most entertaining read l have had in a long time. I think a little more maturity is the answer here but until then l like to see the male thought processes and this was a great example of this. l couldn't even make this up.

Your posts always crack me up!

 

[Aspychata]

Whoa there. Just delete your posts. There is a tab for that.

 

[Kalinychta]

A lot of men are put off by the marriage, kids, divorce, and alimony checklist.

Is that really your picture? You look like a vampire-demon-human hybrid.

 

[TheGuyWithTheTacoma]

Whoa there. Just delete your posts. There is a tab for that.

I said my own name in an earlier post, having no idea what his name was, and he thought I outed him...

 

[Nitro]

I will not allow this to continue

 

[Mia]

That's an unnecessary "diagnosis". To be fair, most men like younger women (I can look up the science for reference if you want a source), and it's very unlikely they do it because they like to be in control.
Instead of looking for sketchy and dubious psychological reasons, applying old Occam's Razor there lead us to the more likely explanation: To put it in rough and impolite words, younger women are hotter than old ones.

Actually they don't, most men marry females close to themselves in age. The relationships and marriages that last the longest, are the ones where the two are on equal footing physically and intellectually.

As for applying Occam's razor to a relationship between two people as 'nature operates in the shortest way possible.' It's far less problematic to be in a relationship with someone who is from the same era, than someone you have no real connection intellectually with. You can of course be physically attracted to younger females but that does not mean they are attracted to you, and few are.

 

[Kalinychta]

I’m confused. I wasn’t fighting either. ?

 

[Trophonius]

Actually they don't, most men marry females close to themselves in age. The relationships and marriages that last the longest, are the ones where the two are on equal footing physically and intellectually.

As for applying Occam's razor to a relationship between two people as 'nature operates in the shortest way possible.' It's far less problematic to be in a relationship with someone who is from the same era, than someone you have no real connection intellectually with. You can of course be physically attracted to younger females but that does not mean they are attracted to you, and few are.

You are missing the point here.

What I said: Arguing that a man prefers to date younger women because he wants to be "more in control" is nonsense. Why? Because men usually prefer younger women, if they are available to them.

Whether equal-age marriages last longer, or relationships are better, or there is a higher change of attraction being reciprocal, can very well be arguments on their own but not to the comment I replied, which is, "I assume from your choices you like younger females so that you can be more in control, rather than someone who's nearer your age who is likely more self-assured."

 

[Nitro]

I’m confused. I wasn’t fighting either. ?

This was cleared up and you weren't involved

 

[Kalinychta]

This was cleared up and you weren't involved

Okay.

 

[Mia]

What I said: Arguing that a man prefer to date younger women because he wants to be "more in control" is nonsense. Why? Because men usually prefer younger women, if they are available to them.

Men do not prefer younger women, another misconception and solely your opinion. Not in my experience with couples I've known over the years. The relationships with younger females ended in divorce and usually they were with wealthier older men. They were a trade-off, their youth usually for wealth or power or an advantage of some sort. Short term for gain in one way or another.

I've seen some of these relationships up close, and there was in most a power imbalance, the females were controlled by their partners and eventually they parted ways. I have a close male friend, who has relationships with women far younger than him, he's had eight relationships and his current one is again problematic. I know the woman and I've seen her looking sadly at men her age, even wistfully. She's won't be with him very long, when he stops paying for everything.

 

[Trophonius]

Men do not prefer younger women, another misconception and solely your opinion..

If you care to see the data I posted, it shows that is not MY opinion.

Source of that chart in particular: https://www.amazon.com/Dataclysm-When-Think-Ones-Looking/dp/B00M284HDO (can be found on library genesis).

This is very reasonable, and the following study is consistent with the former data: Aspirational pursuit of mates in online dating markets

Therefore, it is not merely an opinion but a comment backed up by research.

Not in my experience with couples I've known over the years. The relationships with younger females ended in divorce and usually they were with wealthier older men. They were a trade-off, their youth usually for wealth or power or an advantage of some sort. Short term for gain in one way or another.

I've seen some of these relationships up close, and there was in most a power imbalance, the females were controlled by their partners and eventually they parted ways. I have a close male friend, who has relationships with women far younger than him, he's had eighot relationships and his current one is again problematic. I know the woman and I've seen her look sadly at men her age, even wistfully. She's won't be with him very long, when he stops paying for everything

Now that is solely opinion.
And why? Because unless you have a source for anything you say, it is irrelevant. Your comment is not based on objective data, but your personal experiences, whether "the couples you've known for years" or "the relationships I've seen up close".
I'm afraid that your personal experience depends of so many factors that cannot be considered representative of anything.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

Well this thread is... interesting. OP you sound rather judgmental, and generalising about aspie women from 2 relationships is rather silly. However, everyone is entitled to their preferences and I wish you luck in finding a partner who matches yours. I hope that you will bring as much into the relationship as they do.

It's not what she said, it's the way she said it; Specifically, it's more that she changed her story a day later. First it was rape, then it was forced oral sex but no penetration, so she couldn't get her story straight. A couple days after we started dating, she said that she wanted a certain part of me inside of her. She was all over the place!

Forced oral sex is rape.

 

[Mia]

Because unless you have a source for anything you say, it is irrelevant. Your comment is not based on objective data, but your personal experiences, whether "the couples you've known for years" or "the relationships I've seen up close".
I'm afraid that your personal experience depends of so many factors that cannot be considered representative of anything.

Actually it's far more relevant than anything you can put up on a chart, and pretend is true or valid. As it relates to online dating, you seem to have no actual personal experiences with any of this. A lot of the studies done, are in many ways invalid and rarely objective.

My knowledge of dating and people and relationships has far more weight that any study I've seen you show. You cannot use the internet as a valid source for dating statistics as few people actually tell the truth about their dating experiences. They either conflate or confuse the actual numbers. Anyone can join a study, and indicate they prefer a certain thing, if the questions are posed in the right manner. Much of what you've indicated is actual 'wish fulfillment' posing as science.

 

[Mia]

Therefore, it is not merely an opinion but a comment backed up by research.

Looked at your studies, they used: "... large-scale messaging data from a popular online dating site." That's their raw data source.

So the things that people indicate on online data sites during messaging is the basis for a study? This is posited as valid, when in fact it cannot be. There are far too many incalculable factors here. This is questionable science dressed up as valid.

And: "By 2013, the Pew Research Center (28) found that 11% of all American adults, 38% of those who were currently single and searching for a partner, had used onlinedatingsitesormobile apps."

That's not a big number, 11%. Many online dating sites use messaging bots.

 

[Trophonius]

Actually it's far more relevant than anything you can put up on a chart, and pretend is true or valid. As it relates to online dating, you seem to have no actual personal experiences with any of this. A lot of the studies done, are in many ways invalid and rarely objective.

"More relevant" is ambiguous. It can be the case subjectively, you can like it or pretend it's more real, and it's up to you what to believe. However it has objective value zero. Any data I've show has a higher probability of representing reality than any of your personal experiences.

My knowledge of dating and people and relationships has far more weight that any study I've seen you show. You cannot use the internet as a valid source for dating statistics as few people actually tell the truth about their dating experiences. They either conflate or confuse the actual numbers. Anyone can join a study, and indicate they prefer a certain thing, if the questions are posed in the right manner. Much of what you've indicated is actual 'wish fulfillment' posing as science.

"Weight" is again, ambiguous. Whatever weight you give to your "knowledge" and opinions is up to you. But if anyone is to decide which has a higher chance of being true: (A) A study with precisely defined methodology published in an academic magazine, or (B) Mia from autistforums.com with her "knowledge" of dating and people, no reasonable person will pick (B).

Note to the text in bold: Actually, it's very common in research to use the internet to obtain information for studies for the very same reason. It is more likely people will tell the truth when they are anonymous than in real life to preserve their social image.

 

[Mia]

However it has objective value zero.

Actually your study has objective value zero. And it wouldn't surprise me to discover that the companies or individuals who own online dating sites, somehow, surreptitiously funded the studies which were categorized as research.

A study with precisely defined methodology published in an academic magazine, or (B) Mia from autistforums.com with her "knowledge" of dating and people, no reasonable person will pick (B).

Oh my, an academic magazine so it must be true, all hail the science of academia as the only valid truth in the world? Mia from autism forums, has lots of experience with dating rather than the questionable science of social interaction based on messaging on online dating forums. And in fact, most people will go to other people for information about dating rather than a dating app study.