Hi
@Roxiee. I hope you feel better soon...
When I was really little, say 3-8 years old, I used to have recurring nightmares involving people cutting other people's skin, and/or my skin. I don't know where it came from but it was just the worst kind of nightmare I could imagine. I would wake up sick and have trouble going back to sleep. I was sometimes afraid to sleep in case I had that theme of nightmare again. No dream monsters or murderers were even a tenth as horrifying to me as that.
If I see human skin slicing on historical dramas with swords or any other blade, it's like I can feel it on my own skin and I recoil inwardly (but this does not happen with watching surgery, where the patient is asleep and not in pain). I've since heard that this bit is a form of synaesthesia, like some people hear sounds as colours or have colours associated with numbers. To an extent it also happens when I see traumatic scars on people's skin - it's like the pain itself grates down an internal kind of blackboard like the proverbial chalk.
So I have to watch myself around people with traumatic scars from whatever reason in public, because I don't want my automatic emotional reaction to be upsetting for them. I have a really useless poker face - usually it reflects what I feel. With prior warning I can always stay neutral, but sometimes if something like that springs up in my visual field suddenly, I may not be able to cover it well, and the person with the injury may briefly see my shock.
So if that was you and you briefly saw me looking shocked, what would you like me to do next? Nod and maybe smile and acknowledge you like I would anyone else who caught my eye for whatever reason, freeze over, disappear from view ASAP, something else? I know it's different for everyone, but I've never had a chance to ask someone with scars what they would like.
A friend of mine has terminal cancer. She said the worst thing was friends disappearing from her life because they didn't know how to handle this. She personally would prefer if those friends had continued to drop around for coffee and a chat and a laugh, and also if they could have discussed death like anything else, without making it into this huge black cloud and as if obliged never to smile or laugh around her again. She is really great at enjoying the time she has left and has far outlived expectations so far. She says she wants laughter and honesty and openness, and people living life.
