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I hate it

Roxiee

Roxiee

~ broken but beautiful ~
I was out to celebrate the queen's jubilee, but I was out with some of my mates, and It's warm but I am wearing a short sleeved top and it's obvious my self harm wounds are obvious but I keep getting weird looks. I hate it
 
In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't what anyone else thinks. Opinions are like a#%holes...everyone has one. Well...maybe you celebrating the queen's juilee. That's beyond contemptible. ;) (my attempt at a joke)
 
Storm Hess said:
In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't what anyone else thinks. Opinions are like a#%holes...everyone has one. Well...maybe you celebrating the queen's juilee. That's beyond contemptible. ;) (my attempt at a joke)
Click to expand...
True true. That was a epic joke lol
 
@Roxiee

Their eyes can't actually harm you.
Neither can the expressions on their faces.

What do you tell yourself when you see people looking at your arms?
 
Roxiee said:
Ashamed, and I blame myself.
Click to expand...

How does that help you to move on from
the state you were in when you did it?

You were unhappy. That is a fact.
You did the damage to yourself. That is a fact.

If you are learning ways to deal with your emotions
and the new ways don't include judging yourself and
hurting yourself, that is the important thing.
 
tree said:
How does that help you to move on from
the state you were in when you did it?

You were unhappy. That is a fact.
You did the damage to yourself. That is a fact.

If you are learning ways to deal with your emotions
and the new ways don't include judging yourself and
hurting yourself, that is the important thing.
Click to expand...
Talking to my therapist
 
I wear long sleeves in summer and t shirts in winter.

Fashion meets logic.

People used to stare when they saw my old self harm scars, especially when it during that period in my life. Then they stared because I had a Pusheen sleeve on that arm. Now they stare because I have a blackout sleeve. Also piercings and being 6'4" with a bouncy walk doesn't help.

At the end of the day, it's up to you how you react to people. Most of the time I'm not bothered by the looks people give me, but sometimes it can upset me. That's usually because I'm not feeling good at the time, and it just adds more negativity ontop, which doesn't really help anyone.

It's good to notice when you're having negative thoughts, as that noticing can allow you another vantage point, where you don't get so caught up in the spiralling narrative of negative thoughts.

Ed
 
Raggamuffin said:
I wear long sleeves in summer and t shirts in winter.

Fashion meets logic.

People used to stare when they saw my old self harm scars, especially when it during that period in my life. Then they stared because I had a Pusheen sleeve on that arm. Now they stare because I have a blackout sleeve. Also piercings and being 6'4" with a bouncy walk doesn't help.

At the end of the day, it's up to you how you react to people. Most of the time I'm not bothered by the looks people give me, but sometimes it can upset me. That's usually because I'm not feeling good at the time, and it just adds more negativity ontop, which doesn't really help anyone.

It's good to notice when you're having negative thoughts, as that noticing can allow you another vantage point, where you don't get so caught up in the spiralling narrative of negative thoughts.

Ed
Click to expand...
This is so helpful thank you.
 
I expect you already know that often with self harm the person is trying to control what feels like an uncontrollable situation. The ongoing challenge is to reduce the stress on them and anything that is still making things hard to control, such as ongoing abuse or other difficulties. But as the stress lessens this becomes a strategy the adult sees as something they can choose not to do, as situations are not uncontrollable by then.

There's more awareness of this now, and I know plenty of people who have found enough help and support that abusers or other difficulties have been got rid of and put under control, giving them time to heal and feel less stressed.

Some people know nothing about all this, as it is not so openly spoken of as it nowadays needs to be. But when anyone sees your scars, if they know anything about this, they will respectfully realise you have been put under a lot of stress, but that you have been brave enough to survive it and are trying to heal from it.

They may also think about how they themselves never had to go through that, and wonder how they could ever have been so brave as you have had to be. It sounds like you are tackling all this well. Glad you have support, everyone needs that.
 
Thinx said:
I expect you already know that often with self harm the person is trying to control what feels like an uncontrollable situation. The ongoing challenge is to reduce the stress on them and anything that is still making things hard to control, such as ongoing abuse or other difficulties. But as the stress lessens this becomes a strategy the adult sees as something they can choose not to do, as situations are not uncontrollable by then.

There's more awareness of this now, and I know plenty of people who have found enough help and support that abusers or other difficulties have been got rid of and put under control, giving them time to heal and feel less stressed.

Some people know nothing about all this, as it is not so openly spoken of as it nowadays needs to be. But when anyone sees your scars, if they know anything about this, they will respectfully realise you have been put under a lot of stress, but that you have been brave enough to survive it and are trying to heal from it.

They may also think about how they themselves never had to go through that, and wonder how they could ever have been so brave as you have had to be. It sounds like you are tackling all this well. Glad you have support, everyone needs that.
Click to expand...
Awe my heart has melted, this is beautiful. Thank you!
 
Ohhh...
Physical pain.

It's not infected or anything, right?

Are you saying your arm aches?
 
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