• Feeling isolated? You're not alone.

    Join 20,000+ people who understand exactly how your day went. Whether you're newly diagnosed, self-identified, or supporting someone you love – this is a space where you don't have to explain yourself.

    Join the Conversation → It's free, anonymous, and supportive.

    As a member, you'll get:

    • A community that actually gets it – no judgment, no explanations needed
    • Private forums for sensitive topics (hidden from search engines)
    • Real-time chat with others who share your experiences
    • Your own blog to document your journey

    You've found your people. Create your free account

I don't know whether I want to hug or strangle my childhood self

Gerald Wilgus said:
While my mother tried to give us enriching activities, I felt that she was incapable of guiding me socially, so I interpreted much of her messages as demands. I think that even though I was mocked about my interests at first, the social isolation, feeling apart, even though among people, I feel most neglected by that isolation. Nobody cared. And at times I think acquaintences just assumed that I didn't have the same needs and desires as they.
Click to expand...

Yes! This is exactly what I mean. In my case there was actual physical neglect, and my brother was truly an abusive bully, but I can see how I might interpret ordinary things negatively too.
My mothet always seems so dismissive of me as a person, like my accomplishents, experience and opinions don't matter. But what if her motives, tone, and words are benign and I just misinterpret them?
 
Suzette said:
Yes! This is exactly what I mean. In my case there was actual physical neglect, and my brother was truly an abusive bully, but I can see how I might interpret ordinary things negatively too.
My mothet always seems so dismissive of me as a person, like my accomplishents, experience and opinions don't matter. But what if her motives, tone, and words are benign and I just misinterpret them?
Click to expand...
Exactly. I developed negativity to keep myself from hurt and rejection and now recognize the bias that walled me away from connection. Very damaging during those years critical for social development.
 
While I'm sure autism is mostly, if not entirely, biological there seems to be a common theme of not having one's needs met as a child, especially by parents. For the most part, I feel that my Mom did a great job and we still talk every day on the phone. But growing up, I still had the experience of feeling misunderstood and not fully supported by her.

As I've done my research into ASD, my Mom and I have both realized that there are signs that she may also be on the spectrum. I wonder how this might have impacted her parenting style. On the other hand, I wonder how my autism might have influenced my perception of her. I clearly wanted a fighter/protector. Someone who would make the world feel safe but that was not her.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom