I don't know what to do anymore.

[Hypnalis]

well i can see somethings always being the same

The "meet market" changes, but some things don't.

* The underlying matching system is competitive. Unsurprising, given that life is shaped by evolution
* The "hotness scale" varies a bit, but it's not a cultural/societal construct. Most of the differences are due to the reference templates in our visual system being "programmed" to the local phenotypes early in life.
* The resource availability and "status" aspects of the matching system are stable over time
* ... there's more, but the important ones would take this well off-topic

It's much more interesting to look at the unstable parts, which are societal/cultural constructs:
* Acceptable XX behaviors prior to and between LTRs
* XY responsibilities for certain outcomes. This is almost entirely absent from the game at the moment, but I remember when they were very important
* The "testing game" (who approaches, who pays, "courting" behaviors, etc). This is currently badly broken, but the game doesn't work without some structure in this, so the chaos will pass (unless the population collapse hits first).
* Family involvement and expectations. For now, distorted but not completely broken.
* The locally acceptable lies about the mating game. These shape the inter-personal dialog between potential relationship partners. It's very important for ASDs, but for some reason that escapes me it doesn't get discussed here.
Hookup culture has changed this a lot, and offers the simplest imaginable negotiation: testing "DTF?" /lol. But I'm going with "distorted but not broken" status again.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

I'm a 43-year-old male.virgin. I am geographically seperated from my family. I am autistic, and always struggled with dating. I've only ever been in one relationship with a predator who abused me emotionally for over two years. There were some women who threw themselves at when I was younger, but they were out of my comfort zone. Aside from that, I have no idea how often women have been interested in me if they weren't extremely obvious about it. But the point is that the years went by and I kept getting older and older, and now everyone my age has kids starting college. I'm a man-child who likes comic books and action figures; what could I have in common with someone who's been dealing with the responsibilities of parenthood for half her life? The gap in life experience between me and other people in my age group is just too big for meaningful connections. In only a few years, everyone in my age group will be grandparents. I'm not being with an old woman at some point in my life, but I don't want that to be my only experience. I would have been content to grow old with someone, but I've already grown old alone and now I can never have the experience I missed out on when I was young. I have no interest in chasing after women in their 20s like some creeper, but at the same time I just can't relate to women in my age group anymore. I just don't know what to do anymore. I think it's already too late for me at this point, and I'm afraid I might even take my own life some day. I don't even know who to talk to anymore.

how did those woman throw themselves at you?

 

[paloftoon]

I would highly recommend signing up to volunteer for conventions. Anime conventions are typically good spaces to sign up for. You should sign up early. There are a significant number of older (and younger) nerd types male and female. Don't focus on your local community specifically. Be your own person and explore more things out there when you can. Maybe consider moving closer to an anime convention if within your means and logistics to do so, etc.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

I'm a 43-year-old male.virgin. I am geographically seperated from my family. I am autistic, and always struggled with dating. I've only ever been in one relationship with a predator who abused me emotionally for over two years. There were some women who threw themselves at when I was younger, but they were out of my comfort zone. Aside from that, I have no idea how often women have been interested in me if they weren't extremely obvious about it. But the point is that the years went by and I kept getting older and older, and now everyone my age has kids starting college. I'm a man-child who likes comic books and action figures; what could I have in common with someone who's been dealing with the responsibilities of parenthood for half her life? The gap in life experience between me and other people in my age group is just too big for meaningful connections. In only a few years, everyone in my age group will be grandparents. I'm not being with an old woman at some point in my life, but I don't want that to be my only experience. I would have been content to grow old with someone, but I've already grown old alone and now I can never have the experience I missed out on when I was young. I have no interest in chasing after women in their 20s like some creeper, but at the same time I just can't relate to women in my age group anymore. I just don't know what to do anymore. I think it's already too late for me at this point, and I'm afraid I might even take my own life some day. I don't even know who to talk to anymore.

the part of suicide, sadly, i mentioned this already, i lost someone to suicide last year, he took his own life on July 2nd, i attended his funeral, i had known him since my teenage years