I am a narcissist or just realist and proud of my appearances?

[Stardust]

I like to watch myself in the mirror a lot, to the point I've become attracted to my own image. I had this issue however, since I was little but now I was thinking maybe it's not really normal. When looking in the mirror, I'm thinking that I'm very sexy (many people told me that I am, actually). :wub:

Is that abnormal? My mother also thinks I'm a narcissist.

 

[King_Oni]

If you'd ask a therapist... yes it's abnormal.

If you ask me, no... I don't think it is. It's a healthy love for oneselfs appearance.

However, a thing can be said about aspies and obsessions. If that obsession turns towards being obsessed with oneself, then yes... narcisism might be apparent. I think that it is a fine line. For many of us there is only limited social interaction so you're bound to more involved with yourself mentally and physically. That's most likely also the trapdoor therapists will fall into.

Is it just looking into the mirror? Is there more to it? Do you care about appearance as well? Do you go great lenghts to be "perfect"?

 

[Stardust]

Is it just looking into the mirror? Is there more to it? Do you care about appearance as well? Do you go great lenghts to be "perfect"?

Just looking in the mirror and posing in sexy position, sometimes. I like to analyze my body and my face, and try to see what are my qualities - it rises my self-esteem a bit.
Yes, I care about my appearance, but I think many women do care as well. I can't go out without makeup on my face however. I think I look ugly without makeup. :/ Anyway, I'm not doing great efforts to look beautiful. And I'm not spending too much time in front of the mirror.

Sometimes I feel horny about my appearance. I imagine that if I would have been a guy, I would want to **** me. Could this be abnormal?

 

[Geordie]

Perhaps you're just over-stimulated by your appearance.

If you can, find some other things to do?

 

[Stardust]

Perhaps you're just over-stimulated by your appearance.

If you can, find some other things to do?

Yeah, that could be possible. Well, I'm doing many other things, I'm not looking too much in the mirror.

Thanks for the reply

 

[Geordie]

You're welcome.

I also had similar experiences as you, and I find exercise quite therapeutic - so when I feel over-stimulated, I'll just dance to a few tunes myself, or play ball in the courts near my home.

Just do what you enjoy - in moderation. It will definitely divert attention away from our obsession, even with just a while. It is good to be aware of one's obsessions, and to work on them

 

[HelloDizzy]

This does not indicate Narcissistic Personality Disorder unless you also lack empathy and have shallow affect among other things.

 

[Soup]

I've got to agree with Dizzy on this one: Narcissism is a complex condition involving extremely self-centered & completely unable to see the perspectives of other people. Just the fact that you are thinking about what your mother said & that you came here to see what we think shows that, while you may be a little it obsessed & possibly a little conceited, you aren't certifiable. I don't think that loving the way you look or considering yourself 'hot' is a bad thing. Good self-esteem & a positive body image is a breath of fresh air to me: so many people hate this or that about themselves that it's nice to hear from someon e who doesn't have a lengthy list of looks-related complaints!

 

[smith2267]

Laypeople bandy these words around very freely. Think of it as two different words depending on who you are talking to. If a layperson say you are narcissistic, it just means you like to admire yourself in the mirror (which may or may not be justified on your part!). If a Dr. tells you that, it means something very different.

 

[Undiagnosed]

I agree that what you are talking about isnt about being narcistic, unless there is more to it. Truley narcistic people actually have a underllined low self esteem and try to ccover it up by presenting themselves at perfectley as possable. For a narcisist it is all about appearances, trying to appear great and perfect to others no matter what that means they need to do to acomplish that. Like they may point out this or that about themeself to try to over shadow their true deep down insecurities.

as for being turned on by your image... I would say that is unusual honestley. Not that it's nececerily unhealthy or anything wrong with it. I once had a male friend who told me he often wished he could 'S@#k his own d*&k". I found such a thought unusual but don't see why there would be any harm in thinking such a way.

I used to find my body attractive (when I used to keep myself in shape), but I didn't feel sexually attracted to myself. But then I'm not sexually attracted to any female even in the least bit. Mabey that's the differance. Are you attracted to females if even just a little?

Laypeople bandy these words around very freely. Think of it as two different words depending on who you are talking to. If a layperson say you are narcissistic, it just means you like to admire yourself in the mirror (which may or may not be justified on your part!). If a Dr. tells you that, it means something very different.

I totaly agree.

 

[Stardust]

I used to find my body attractive (when I used to keep myself in shape), but I didn't feel sexually attracted to myself. But then I'm not sexually attracted to any female even in the least bit. Mabey that's the differance. Are you attracted to females if even just a little?

I am a female. Well, I AM attracted to males. However, they should look really hot, otherwise I find most of the males bad looking and I feel nothing for them.

This does not indicate Narcissistic Personality Disorder unless you also lack empathy and have shallow affect among other things.

My mom says that I think of myself being better than other people and that I am too judgmental and this would make me - theoretically - an narcissist. However, I can't see how this would make me an narcissist, I am most probably a misanthrope.


Edit. Now I have read the traits on Wikipedia and I have them all, excluding the "difficulty with empathy" part. :rofl:

And I also found this interesting:
"Hypersensitivity to any insults or imagined insults (see criticism and narcissists, narcissistic rage and narcissistic injury)" - maybe this is the reason why people think I am paranoid.

Uhm, so I need treatment for it? :banghead:

I took a quiz and it says that I am not a narcissist.

"Your Total: 14

Between 12 and 15 is average.
Celebrities often score closer to 18.
Narcissists score over 20. "

Took it from here.

 

[King_Oni]

I scored 29 on that test... guess there was some truth to what my therapist claimed. Then again; it's an online test, don't know if one should put a lot of value in those.

What strikes me as odd though; the test ranges 6 categories on a scale from 1 to 10. Anything over 20 in total would presumably put you on a NPD scale. By my math you should score say 3.33 on each item. On a scale of 1 to 10, that's not even average. Can I conclude that in order to not be narcissistic, you have to be so humble one can almost state you should feel "bad" about yourself?

Also; one of the things you can score points on would be "vanity". According to the description "This trait refers to a person's vanity, or their belief in one's own superior abilities and attractiveness compared to others. You scored particularly high in vanity, suggesting you have a strong belief in your own abilities and attractiveness." (I scored 3.00; don't think that's high at all).
To me there's a big difference between being (or thinking you're) attractive and believing in your own abilities (and skills). If I don't believe in my own abilities I'd be most likely labeled as depressed at some point. I don't think it's healthy to believe you have no abilities and are terrible at things. But that might be just me.

And also with such tests it bothers me that it's an either this or that answer. There's a lot of stuff one can answer in favor of the other, not because he believes this statement, but because it does oppose the other answer more. For example;

I expect a great deal from other people or I like to do things for other people

I don't particularly expect a lot from people, but I'm surely less likely to do things for people with enjoyment. To me this isn't even an opposite.

A final thought about this test, as well as any valid test a therapist might throw at you. I don't know if these tests in general might have a standardized benchmark for "the aspie brain". Since neurological wiring, and therefore thinking and interpretation differs from the norm (I think that's fair to assume), I don't know if these tests hold up. I mean, comorbid disorders and multiple disorders in a person are a thing and they're clearly a thing within the autism community.

 

[Stardust]

Thanks for the answer, King_Oni. I am pretty skeptical about these tests myself and I don't think they are too accurate either.
I guess I just feel rejected and seeing myself beautiful is just an unconscious mechanism to feel ok and keep myself confident.

 

[smith2267]

I score 15. But I didn't like the test. Sometimes neither answer was appropriate for me

 

[Soup]

Which test is this? Does anyone have a link to it? I know I scored high on the schizotypal personality test but sometimes with many of these tests, the answer choices are worded in such a way that if the 'super normal' 2 options don't fit, you're left with answers waay at the opposite extreme. There have to be answers such as 'this applies to me some of the time but it doesn't reflect my pervasive thought patterns' 'this question is not relevant to my reality' & 'This question doesn't make any sense'.

When I met my husband, I thought he was VERY paranoid. Then, as I got to now him, he'd talk about the circumstances where he came from & when he was growing up & what life was like there (under a rigid Communist regime). He told me about what happened to the older generation of his family under Stalin. Once I was able to see his thinking within the context of his experiences, it turned out I was more paranoid than he was since I was raised in times of calm & peace in a safe democratic environment. Had I lived his experiences, I can't imagine what the outcome would've been. A person's behaviours & traits & thinking is almost meaningless until you understand the context in which they emerged.

We have to be careful with these labels. Any time someone does or says almost anything, some person is there to stick labels all over them. It's tempting to do it to ourselves as well. Everything isn't a disorder or merit a diagnosis. Something is wrong with the narrow parameters of 'normal' in the west (probably true in many places as well). It may be perfectly normal for one person to admire their image with frequency but not so much so for someone else (if they're skipping work to stay home & admire their reflection or begin seeing that reflection as another person entirely). I remember a case of a 50ish woman who'd get dolled up & look in the mirror a lot. At first, those around her thought she was just a little vain. Then, she began talking to her reflection & calling it "Sandy" her sister who had come to visit. Turned out Sandy had died as a baby back in the early 60s. The woman became reluctant to leave the house because Sandy would get upset & lecture her or cry. She would sit by the vanity mirror trying to console her reflection (yes, folks, things got pretty weird). This woman was dxed with particularly severe early onset Alzheimer's. Vanity, narcissism & mirrors really had nothing to do with anything: this was all about delusions & brain glitches. The strange thing is, that this woman spoke about Sandy coming to visit with the same lucidity that you & I would discuss having watched a movie or gone to the beach. Had we not seen the whole mirror routine, there would've been nothing crazy-seeming about this woman at all. She looked normal & well groomed, she sounded normal & most of us would simply have said, "I hope you 2 enjoy your visit!"

 

[smith2267]

@soup, stardust hyperlinked to it. look for the red word "here"

 

[Undiagnosed]

I am a female. Well, I AM attracted to males. However, they should look really hot, otherwise I find most of the males bad looking and I feel nothing for them.



My mom says that I think of myself being better than other people and that I am too judgmental and this would make me - theoretically - an narcissist. However, I can't see how this would make me an narcissist, I am most probably a misanthrope.


Edit. Now I have read the traits on Wikipedia and I have them all, excluding the "difficulty with empathy" part. :rofl:

And I also found this interesting:
"Hypersensitivity to any insults or imagined insults (see criticism and narcissists, narcissistic rage and narcissistic injury)" - maybe this is the reason why people think I am paranoid.

Uhm, so I need treatment for it? :banghead:

I took a quiz and it says that I am not a narcissist.

"Your Total: 14

Between 12 and 15 is average.
Celebrities often score closer to 18.
Narcissists score over 20. "

Took it from here.

I understand that you are femal. I am female too.

 

[Undiagnosed]

I scored 29 on that test... guess there was some truth to what my therapist claimed. Then again; it's an online test, don't know if one should put a lot of value in those.

What strikes me as odd though; the test ranges 6 categories on a scale from 1 to 10. Anything over 20 in total would presumably put you on a NPD scale. By my math you should score say 3.33 on each item. On a scale of 1 to 10, that's not even average. Can I conclude that in order to not be narcissistic, you have to be so humble one can almost state you should feel "bad" about yourself?

Also; one of the things you can score points on would be "vanity". According to the description "This trait refers to a person's vanity, or their belief in one's own superior abilities and attractiveness compared to others. You scored particularly high in vanity, suggesting you have a strong belief in your own abilities and attractiveness." (I scored 3.00; don't think that's high at all).
To me there's a big difference between being (or thinking you're) attractive and believing in your own abilities (and skills). If I don't believe in my own abilities I'd be most likely labeled as depressed at some point. I don't think it's healthy to believe you have no abilities and are terrible at things. But that might be just me.

And also with such tests it bothers me that it's an either this or that answer. There's a lot of stuff one can answer in favor of the other, not because he believes this statement, but because it does oppose the other answer more. For example;

I expect a great deal from other people or I like to do things for other people

I don't particularly expect a lot from people, but I'm surely less likely to do things for people with enjoyment. To me this isn't even an opposite.

A final thought about this test, as well as any valid test a therapist might throw at you. I don't know if these tests in general might have a standardized benchmark for "the aspie brain". Since neurological wiring, and therefore thinking and interpretation differs from the norm (I think that's fair to assume), I don't know if these tests hold up. I mean, comorbid disorders and multiple disorders in a person are a thing and they're clearly a thing within the autism community.

I agree. I don't put much faith into those tests weather they are at a clinic or online. I was once given such a test by a Psyciatrist. I seemed to take forever answering questions. He read the results of the test and siad it 'misread' me. He hardley knew me. I had just met with him the one time for a breif period. He said the test labeled me as being 'grandeose' or something like that. I didn't know what that ment. He said well you don't think your like Jesus or something do u. "NO I don't think I'm Jesus or like Jesue". I agree King the questions are to variable. I don't think thats the correct word to use but I can't think how else to say it right now.

 

[Undiagnosed]

I am a female. Well, I AM attracted to males. However, they should look really hot, otherwise I find most of the males bad looking and I feel nothing for them.



My mom says that I think of myself being better than other people and that I am too judgmental and this would make me - theoretically - an narcissist. However, I can't see how this would make me an narcissist, I am most probably a misanthrope.


Edit. Now I have read the traits on Wikipedia and I have them all, excluding the "difficulty with empathy" part. :rofl:

And I also found this interesting:
"Hypersensitivity to any insults or imagined insults (see criticism and narcissists, narcissistic rage and narcissistic injury)" - maybe this is the reason why people think I am paranoid.

Uhm, so I need treatment for it? :banghead:

I took a quiz and it says that I am not a narcissist.

"Your Total: 14

Between 12 and 15 is average.
Celebrities often score closer to 18.
Narcissists score over 20. "

Took it from here.

I understand that you are femail. I am female too. That's why I was asking if you are attraced to other familes since you are attracted to your image.

 

[Undiagnosed]

What is your age Stardust.

Honestley if you really thing you have it I would sugest you do seek treatment. If you are young and on't have a family and kids it would be great if you got treatment before that happens becouse people with Narcistic disorder will affect others around them such as their children and husand. .