How to get a job and qualification

[RainbowAura]

I am 25, female and never had a job or experience due to bullying, severe social phobia, being sheltered badly at home and other issues with mental health. I’ve sought doing a computer course through help from my mother (she helped arrange it) but it wasn’t what I needed and I felt like an outcast and was treated like an outcast. It was more for beginners learning the internet. The tutor was all “are you sure you are meant to be here?”... people are greeted as they walk in but not me. I no longer go. I also tried a day thing for people with mental illnesses (mums help again) where they did mosaics...badminton etc. But it was overwhelming due to the people, my feeling of being outcast and a staff member who ruined it for me by her dislike of me and mistreatment. I felt I couldn’t relate to these “worldly people”who swore and cursed and spoke badly about God (I’m a Christian). I left and they didn’t care. I stayed there for just a month. Nothing lasts long. The course lasted three times only. Also, I was made fun of at badminton as I’m uncoordinated and unsporty...terribly so..so it was a running joke. I really loved badminton.

At school I was bullied and didn’t do well. I left at 16 due to chronic and painful bullying in every class and being unable to understand due to how hard the work was and whatever else. I was never good at anything but had my first success with a year 10 (age 15) merit award for English in 2007. I felt so achieved and the replacement English teacher was kinda nice to me. I also got a school magazine award and she held my magazine in the air like I had value. She even wrote nice things to my bad writing. I never felt so important and special in all my life and still have never felt like that. She even said well done to me for the merit award (felt it was like I was a stupid person before because she didn’t praise the other girl who got excellence I think). My former English teacher who didn’t treat me right said well done to me but it felt like I was stupid before...that was what it was tinged with. Because I was stupid and she never liked me. They didn’t do this otherwise. This meant a lot to me because I admired her so highly. The following year English teacher was a prick to me

At year 11 It suddenly became very very hard. I tried school somewhere else when I was 17 but got bullied there and I had crippling depression and I had stuff happen with teachers and staff. Painful hurtful stuff. I had no support anywhere. I was always an average student but now was under average and failing. I always got achieved (maybe an American grade c equilvenent?) or failed.

When I was 15 I forced into work experience for school but needed my moms help and it went terribly wrong and was vomit worthy due to my social anxiety. I tried coping with it on my own but walked out due to the treatment I received.

At school I only took part of choir and briefly tried school librarian work (like a week) but those two things are stories of their own. When I was younger I did netball.

I’ve tried different councillors, psychs.phone help lines..and was mistreated by them all. Could write stories ‘bout them all.

I tried correspondence through an institution when I was 17 (family set it up) and that went wrong due to my depression and the tutors sucked. I found the year 11 work too hard.

I have learning issues regarding math, comprehending what I’m reading, understanding, remembering and a bunch of learning crap I’ve now learnt to understand has been my problem since I was a child. I not had any diagnosis.

I tried doing online free correspondence but the work came and my brain just doesn’t understand like a typical human being. I gave up and don’t care to do it. Just seems like nonsense. It is supposed to help me get an equilvelent for school I missed. I just can’t follow this. Some of it requires friends and things like that and I have none so it plays on me mentally.

I did do free bible studies and did well on it. One certificate. Have gotten a couple 100%. But it won’t get me a job.

I don’t mean to feel this way it is just how my brain is wired. Since I was 16 my brain health has dropped a LOT...I also found reading harder. I always found it hard but now it was much harder. I haven’t read a full novel since then. (One I think but not really well read)

My ideal job would be a quiet job with minimal social interaction. I’d like to work as a psychologist if I had the mental capacity (I obviously don’t and have been told so) or a librarian. But can’t find mental understanding for these things. They require achievements and qualifications..university...things like that. That is not me or what I could ever do. I’ve done several quizzes in the past for ideal jobs and it most often pops up with psychologist or councillor. I feel in my inner most being my ideal job is providing love, care and compassion to others. I never got it and want others to have what I didn’t have. I have gone through several job ideas in the past.

My interests are solely Facebook, stuffed animals and childish cartoons. I sometimes read comics. Like several other things but I can’t call them hobbies....like 50’s fashion and useless things like that.

I live with my mother and stepfather and am 100% reliant on my mother. I am able to wash myself and can make basic things like toast and breakfast. Can’t cook. I have depression, social phobia, dependent personality, avoidant personality and physical illnesses.

 

[Bolletje]

I think you need to work on your mental health before you start looking for new jobs and/or courses, otherwise you’re bound to struggle.

With unbridled social anxiety, depression and avoidant personality disorder to boot, you’re going to feel excluded and alone no matter what. I’d suggest taking it step by step:
1) see a therapist specialized in ASD, and get evaluated
2) get therapy (I’m a fan of CBT) for your depression and phobia, and if ASD is diagnosed, make sure to schedule some more sessions with that ASD specialist
3) when you’re in a better place, list your strong features and what you want from a job. Then start looking for work.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I think you need to work on your mental health before you start looking for new jobs and/or courses, otherwise you’re bound to struggle.

With unbridled social anxiety, depression and avoidant personality disorder to boot, you’re going to feel excluded and alone no matter what. I’d suggest taking it step by step:
1) see a therapist specialized in ASD, and get evaluated
2) get therapy (I’m a fan of CBT) for your depression and phobia, and if ASD is diagnosed, make sure to schedule some more sessions with that ASD specialist
3) when you’re in a better place, list your strong features and what you want from a job. Then start looking for work.

Get the therapist to put a time on these events.
It's not a day or a week.
Little by little over a year maybe.

Like you say 'i can't cook'

Learn one dish.

 

[Mary Anne]

I agree with the responses above. I also want you to NOT undermine your interests! You put down your interests as “useless” and “childish,” but our hobbies, loves, and interests are what keeps us going, and gives us happiness!

I too absolutely love 50s fashion. It’s not “useless!” Someone (a teacher or parent?) must have imprinted that in your mind. I think I understand what you mean in that it cannot get you a job, but that does not mean it’s unimportant. As for the comics, I worked with a client who has intense OCD. His obsession is comic books! He actually has been able to start buying and selling comics online and at flea markets! He has found a way to turn his love of comics into an income producing gig. Another plus he says, is the socialization skills he is learning by selling at the flea markets. Just an example of how to turn passion into something!

We all have to get our personal lives under some sort of satisfactory control and it’s imperative to build self confidence. The world is a very hectic, harsh place. We all need to find ways to validate ourselves when no one else will. We all need to find value in ourselves, despite being fired, having no jobs, or suffering the cruelties of others. Therapy does help! Enjoying your passions helps. Earning to do new things (like cooking) is a real confidence booster. Posting here and asking for help is a good thing too, and I am glad you are here!