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Does anyone understand this? I have trouble doing things like returning compliments. Things I should do and most times I want to. Like someone says to me "hope you have a good summer". I should reply "you too" and I want to, either because its polite or I actually mean it, or both. But something makes that so incredibly uncomfortable to say. If its in writing, I can do it no problem. If I manage to say it, it comes out real quiet, I'm looking all shy , and the only feeling I can relate it to is embarrassment. Why the hell would this embarrass me to the point of making me look rude for not returning compliments.
I do not mind being nice to people and if it was someone who does not compliment me, its easier to compliment them. But I can't "return" it.
This is very strange. I don't understand it. Does anyone else experience something similar? Or have any idea what might be going on? Its been going on this way for as long back as I can remember and has not changed.
I do sometimes as well however I try to remember doing it at times because I love compliments at times particularly sometimes on my appearance because it makes me feel like I am beautiful and pretty and people are not jealous
And how people think you are vain if you like receiving compliments on your appearance even if you do not like it fixated on or like compliments on it in excess just occasionally
And it someone likes compliments on it all the time that is ok too.
I also love it when I dress up and people compliment my clothes or sometimes my cooking
It is a complicated relationship because I do not want to feel like people are dwarfed by my talents when they are not perfect and I only like to feel regular not always like a highly talented or intelligent person who is better or dwarfs others.
But I will happily accept some and can take it statically but do not like it all the time or feelings of dwarfing others.
I just like people who love me for me but are not afraid to say I am beautiful or pretty or say nice things about my occasionally.
I have never been called I'm pretty and sometimes I am made to feel like that is my fault in so many ways
I have been unwell but I think I am a pretty person.
So if someone called me pretty I'd be astounded.
Somehow it is my fault if I never feel like drasing up or doing makeup anymore when I was younger I was never ashamed but my illness and weight fluctuations and women have really pulled me down.
In the sense often women only see a certain thing as beautiful in the sense you have to often plaster yourself in makeup and dress up to the nines and post plenty of instagram photos to be seen as beautiful whereas just you wearing a dress without any makeup is not worth the same praise or compliments even if you think you look prety
Yeah wow so stupid people who never take them and go sound their whole life thinking they are ugly and never taking them
What a waste of life to spend your whole life of it with no self esteem thinking your ugly.
I never bother complimenting a person who automatically will not receive it.
Waste of breath unless I think they need a bit of praise and uplifting then I would consider it.
Because you could make someone's day and then they might really start to think some part of them beautiful.
And if someone says I am ugly or I am worthless I will be one of the first people to say you are beautiful and not ugly or you are worthy even I thought they were not a very good person because I often think that has to do with trauma and they should hear it
And also if someone says they are not beautiful in terms of they just say it or they have low self esteem they I will tell them they are. Because everyone does have beauty and they deserve to feel beautiful.
 
I've no idea if this is even slightly related to autism or just "regular" awkwardness. So I decided to ask a question.

Is a difficulty in accepting compliments a spectrum related thing?

My first reaction when someone compliments me on anything, and I do mean anything, is rejection of that compliment.
I feel taken aback, nervous, and think that the person is just trying to be kind and to make me feel included.
 
It seems to be quite common with autistic people. I didn't mind praise where I felt in myself that I'd earned it but even then it made me feel awkward and I never quite worked out how to respond to it gracefully. A lot of us also have trouble with people trying to show concern for us when we're injured, it puts emotional pressure on us that we find difficult to deal with.
 
It seems to be quite common with autistic people. I didn't mind praise where I felt in myself that I'd earned it but even then it made me feel awkward and I never quite worked out how to respond to it gracefully. A lot of us also have trouble with people trying to show concern for us when we're injured, it puts emotional pressure on us that we find difficult to deal with.
Yes!

That's exactly how I feel.

Thank you.
 
I've no idea if this is even slightly related to autism or just "regular" awkwardness. So I decided to ask a question.

Is a difficulty in accepting compliments a spectrum related thing?

My first reaction when someone compliments me on anything, and I do mean anything, is rejection of that compliment.
I feel taken aback, nervous, and think that the person is just trying to be kind and to make me feel included.

Autism? No. Not on it's own.

Insecurity? Yes. More often than not.

But that's not to say Autism doesn't affect our understanding of others meaning, when we are especially insecure about ourselves. It's messy when Autism and mental health issues mix. I'm a prime case, myself, of someone working through mental health issues, while grappling with Autism.

But I do have trouble taking complements as anything, but something to discard. Namely due to my distorted sense of self. But I have been working harder lately to fix that.

But that's my perspective on this. Living with what I did to myself.
 

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