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How do you know if a "friend" is a friend?

SimplyWandering

SimplyWandering

Well-Known Member
So my question of the day is How do you know if a friend is a friend or just an acquaintance?

This is coming from a guy who feels like he has no friends. I try to reach out to others and I get no reciprocation.
 
You just keep watering your acquaintances. With enough exposure, some will bloom into friendships.
 
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My dad always said that you don't know who your real friends are until you are ill and/or in hospital. Your real friends are the ones who will go the extra mile (literally) to help you. Also, when you have depression, you find out who your real friends are, and they aren't necessary your closest friends.
 
I know how that feels. I've spent most of my life wondering if the few people I like to talk to are acquaintances or friends. When you like being around someone and it's actually fun to socialize with them, you eventually just have to take it as a kind of faith. I'm careful who I call friend, but I've been more willing to use the label in recent years.
 
I have the hardest time figuring that out, especially since I've had so many people leave my life for the dumbest of reasons.

I've always found that with the select few that I try and connect with, I always have the burning question in the back of my mind of "when will they leave?"

I've never thought that I was worthy of having friends, and I still don't. I don't give out that title very quickly, often it takes a long time, and usually by then, the person is gone from my life.
 
I am kinda like @Marcus . People leave so often. And i don't blame them for "being there". They are all into their own Facebook and therapy sessions.

Further, I confuse everyone and they all confuse me.

I just stay in my own space now. The people who love me are family. That's it.
 
A true friend would help you hide a body. No, really. If you told one of your friends that you had a really big problem and needed help hiding a body. Would they help or run the other way?
 
clg114 said:
A true friend would help you hide a body. No, really. If you told one of your friends that you had a really big problem and needed help hiding a body. Would they help or run the other way?
Click to expand...

So now we know why you're suddenly a staff member......

:)
 
clg114 said:
A true friend would help you hide a body. No, really. If you told one of your friends that you had a really big problem and needed help hiding a body. Would they help or run the other way?
Click to expand...
I'd be a really bad friend then, because if I knew that a friend was trying to hide a body I would call the police!
 
Progster said:
I'd be a really bad friend then, because if I knew that a friend was trying to hide a body I would call the police!
Click to expand...

Of course that would be the right thing to do, but still if you wanted to know how loyal someone was....
 
SimplyWandering said:
So my question of the day is How do you know if a friend is a friend or just an acquaintance?

This is coming from a guy who feels like he has no friends. I try to reach out to others and I get no reciprocation.
Click to expand...

When they refer to me repeatedly as their friend or when I ask them if they consider us friends and they say "yes".
 
I find parallels between declaring that someone is your friend, or another person declaring that about you, and the whole first "I love you" thing in a relationship. Who says it first? How do you know when the line has crossed between "like" and "love"? What do you say if it's said to you, and what if you say it and they don't feel the same?

Personally, I never say "I love you" first, and I never declare someone to be a friend first. I wait until they refer to me as their friend, or even asks "do you want to be friends"? In either the case of love of friendship, it's a great way to drive that person away by saying "it" prematurely.

I love @Crossbreed 's post: keep your acquaintances around and see who moves up to the next level and becomes a friend. You might be surprised.
 
To me a friend is someone who wants what's best for you at all times. Someone that you can tell stuff to and is happy for your success as you are for theirs.
 
Hahaha I recently asked someone if they were my friend and they said no. AAAAAHHH!!! they aren't mean about it or anything it's just embarrassing to think someone is your friend when they see you as their acquaintance.
 
Sometimes you just can't tell. The wind might change tomorrow & they'll walk to greener fields. We can't stop them & we can't always predict it, no mater how astute one may be. Generally real friends are interested in your happiness & will offer support. They won't be too critical but will instead suggest fixes or provide examples of routes to correcting issues. If they dictate in a "Do it or else" tone or manner then the person isn't a friend, they are just an bullying acquaintance that you happen to know.
 
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