How do you breathe?

[Pats]

Does anyone else experience rapid heart beat and shortness of breath when they want to say something to someone?

It's frustrating and I never knew before why this would happen. Years ago on a date we were walking and I was so out of breath it was hard to say anything. I noticed that the same thing would happen just sitting somewhere and talking. I would try to hide my shortness of breath and try to control my breathing to make it appear normal, which just makes it worse - a couple times I passed out. LOL

In team meetings at work, in Bible studies, school, where ever, I would spend most my time thinking "Please don't ask me to participate verbally" and when it came my turn to read or answer a question, it was hard trying to cover up my shortness of breath and do what they want. I walked out of a couple team meetings.

Now that I know about the autism, I pay more attention to what's going on inside. I still get short of breath when I want to say something and I've noticed that what I'm doing is holding my breath from nervousness before speaking (I think).

It's frustrating because I will walk outside to the shed where my son is working to tell him something - not really noticing that I'm kind of holding my breath as I walk out there and it's like I have to catch my breath before I tell him what I'm wanting to say (even if it's trivial).

But now I feel like they're all thinking my health is bad. I try not to do that but don't remember beforehand to do anything to prevent it. So everyone sees it as - walk upstairs, catch my breath then speak. When no one's home and I carry a load of laundry upstairs I don't get short of breath - but they don't see that.

I've also noticed that even when I'm alone and something has mildly stressed me out I have to catch my breath and realize after the fact that I had been holding my breath. I have tried a couple times to make myself breathe but then it's not a natural pattern and still end up short of breath.

I know it's anxiety but I feel like I'm doing it to myself and just haven't found a way to stop.

 

[tree]

So you need to find a way to remember to breathe out?

Did you take LaMaze classes when you were pregnant?
Or anything similar?

Breathing out is as important as breathing in, as you have
discovered. And the fear regarding what will happen
when you speak/what the reaction of others will
be.....that isn't a valuable thing to keep inside, either.

 

[Pats]

So you need to find a way to remember to breathe out?

Did you take LaMaze classes when you were pregnant?
Or anything similar?

Breathing out is as important as breathing in, as you have
discovered. And the fear regarding what will happen
when you speak/what the reaction of others will
be.....that isn't a valuable thing to keep inside, either.

4 times pregnant and never took classes. Maybe I should take one now to learn how to breathe. You'd think it would come naturally.
Do you have special training with autism? You're answers are always, to the point and accurate.

 

[tree]

From: The Official Lamaze Guide

• Breathing is easily subject to conscious control. Therefore, controlled breathing is easy to learn.
• Slow, deep breathing is particularly effective. The “right” way to breathe is whatever feels right. There are no rules related to how many breaths per minute, whether to breathe through the mouth or nose, or whether to make sounds. The key here is that the breathing is conscious, not automatic.

Lamaze Breathing: What Every Pregnant Woman Needs to Know

Link to another article detailing some breathing exercises.
Breathing Exercise: Three To Try | 4-7-8 Breath | Andrew Weil, M.D.

 

[Autistamatic]

I do pretty much the exact opposite, but I didn't realise this until a few years ago when my girlfriend of the time pointed it out to me. I do breathe quite shallowly anyway, with occasional deep breaths to compensate, but when I have to speak I often take in a huge breath and pause before I speak. It's not nerves or anxiety, it's a combination of a delaying tactic - giving myself an extra second or two to think about what I'm about to say and also to fill my lungs for a long sentence. I'm not known for being brief, shall we say.

 

[Tom]

The exact timing varies but 2 seconds in and 2 seconds out (breathing) is a rough rule of thumb. Its a relaxation technique as well. I do it in nervous situations and it can reboot the body nicely when you get practiced at it.

 

[DCA]

This has happened to me before, if I'm going to say something really important & I'm nervous about it. I think its anxiety. There have been times where its so bad I feel like I'm going to pass out. Luckily that is extremely rare & I haven't actually passed out due to talking...yet...

 

[Gritches]

Hm, not sure if this will help but it couldn't hurt:

I learned a breathing technique a while back that's actually kind of scary how well it works.

The technique is simply to breathe in for four seconds, hold that breath for four seconds, then exhale for four seconds, and repeat.

It's meant to slow your heart rate and slow your breathing. When you get nervous, your breaths get short and shallow. This forces your heart to speed up to deliver the lesser amount of oxygen to where the body needs it. The technique forces you to be mindful of your breathing and stops you from relying on shallow breaths, which can leave you gasping for air when you really need it.

I learned this from a yoga instructor, but since then I've seen references to it all the way back to WW2. It's a pretty good way to calm nerves and keep you from holding your breath.

 

[DCA]

When I used to run I did something like Gritches described above, though I was really taking super deep breaths while running. This helped me control my breathing. And it worked!

 

[clg114]

Forgetting to breathe is something that I have done as long as I can remember. I do it when I am doing something that requires all of my attention and I am struggling with. Fifty years ago, during my racing days, I would forget to breathe while racing. Even though I was physically OK, I would run out of breath. If I constantly reminded myself to breathe, I was OK.

 

[BraidedPony]

I hold my breath when I’m nervous and don’t realize that Ive held my breath until I find myself sucking air like I have emphysema. It’s embarrassing if I can’t hide it but I usually can.
I do the breathing technique that Gritches explained. Sometimes, especially when I need to relax myself to sleep, I do what is called 4-7-8 breathing. Breathe in to the count of 4, hold for a count of 7, then breathe out through the mouth for a count of 8.
This slows down and deepens the breath and helps to relax you at the moment and also it has long lasting effects. It stimulates the Vagus nerve, which is good but I don’t remember why.
The shortness of breath comes from holding your breath because the muscles around our rib cage contracts during stress. So it is almost like a muscle spasm, so like Tree said, we need to consciously breathe.
I remind myself to breathe many times a day.

 

[Pats]

I'm glad I'm not the only one that does this, and thanks, @BraidedPony, that you let me know you share the being embarrassed and trying to hide it thing.

 

[SusanLR]

Correct breathing has always been a problem for me due to the anxiety that causes the rib cage and
diaphram muscles to be tight.
As soon as I go to do anything that creates anxiety (for me driving is the worst), I get what my doctor
calls "air hunger."
It creates a feeling that I can't get air in and ends up with me taking long, too long, breathes that still doesn't seem to fill the need for the air. I know it's because my chest tightens and I'm forcing it into the lungs. People notice and think I am about to sneeze or taking a big yawn.
Yes, it's embarassing.
But, if I can relax or get my mind onto something else besides the feeling of not getting enough air,
it goes away.
That suffocating feeling of needing more air is miserable.
I've tried the counting methods and they don't work well for me because I'm still thinking about breathing
as I count.

 

[Progster]

When I'm hyperfocused and concentrating on something, I do sometimes 'forget' to breathe, but it's not something that particularly concerns me or strikes me as abnormal, I think that most people do this (?). I don't get short of breathe every time I speak to someone, but if I have an anxiety attack or panic attack (rarely), it can cause me to hyperventilate.

 

[Suzanne]

Yes and stutter badly.

In my head, it is as clear as anything what I want to say, but somehow does not reach my mouth and this is when I need to ask for something.

Some, I can pause and laugh and say: no, that is not right and take a deep breath and start again, but others, I am a wreck with.

 

[Cogitatio]

I have breathing problems when I get anxious. This is not necessarily when I am talking but just about whenever I am anxious or thinking about something that makes me anxious. Basically I stop breathing until I am completely out of breath and then gasp. Sometimes its so bad I cannot talk between the gasps for breath. I thought it was asthma but I was checked out by 2 doctors both of whom said it was psychological.

I know how you feel. Breathing exercises help but at work I find it hard to focus on breathing and work at the same time.

 

[On the Inside]

I have trained myself to breathe rather deeply, and in rythm, adjusting as needed for vigorous activity.

I have partcipated and competed in middle distance endurance sports most of my life, along with twenty years of meditating which begins with concious breathing. So I am usually very aware of my breathing.

I do notice I will breathe very shallowly when I am focused on some engrossing task or am very tired.

 

[Reu]

I don’t have any advice about this but thanks for sharing because I never noticed that I do the same thing quite often until I read your experience.

I have noticed before that I’ve felt out of breath while talking but hadn’t associated it with AS. I’m also new to discovering my AS. So yeah, thanks for sharing.

And thanks for the tips.