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Holy Moly! Finally diagnosed!

I

IntoTheVoid

Well-Known Member
(sorry for grammar mistakes. English is not my first language).

So today I visited a psychiatrist specialized in autism and finally got my diagnosis.

I got there like 30 minutes before and thinking about how much autistic it is being there so early. I waited for 20 minutes and then I rang the bell. She welcomed me and let me in. I put my jacket on a rack, the rack fell and hit the wall. And I was like "Whooopsie" and she explained this happens every time so I guess it's ok.

She was actually really nice and kind to me and I kinda enjoyed the whole interview. She really seemed to understand my... weirdness.

She asked me:

"So why do you think you have Asperger's syndrome and what made you think so?"

And I was like: "weeeeelll... Um.. You know. I've always kinda knew what autism is, but I was totally wrong. I had the shallow viewpoint that autism is someone who can't tie his shoes or maybe he's like Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang, but recently I read a book about it and realized it's something very different. And then I realized it's totally me. The book is about me!"

And I knew I am objective in this matter, because I had the feeling I might be "something" many times, but eventually I've always dropped the idea after deeper research. But not autism... It was the opposite. The deeper my knowledge was, the more convinced I was.

"So I decided to see an expert to confirm it or refute it!"

So then we talked and talked and talked for three hours.

And she gave me various tests and asked many questions - always assured me I can refuse to reply if the question makes me feel uncomfortable. Some of them were really intimate, yes.

She also asked about sensory issues.

"When I was young I had a carpet and I hated the carpet. It was horrible to touch it. I eventually took it and threw it into a trash can."

"And what happened next?"

"My mum came in and asked me where is the carpet."

"And what did you answer?"

"It disappeared, I said."

"Okay..."

Then she told me: "I have two more tests to do, however there is not point, because I know you have an Asperger's syndrome."

And I was like: "Wait... What?!"

"Sorry to drop it like that, but Aspergers usually hate when I talk and talk and talk when they want to know their diagnosis. So after many years of being a psychiatrist I better say it very quickly."

"Holy moly!"

"You're probably shocked now."

"Er... Kinda. But actually I don't feel pretty much anything. It's weird. I imagined this moment in my head many times, wondering what it will be like. And now it happened and I feel nothing."

"That's pretty common. Everybody feels like that in this moment."

"You know, most aspies online, on Reddit and on many communities are scary that they are NOT aspergers and the psychiatrist confirms it. I mean, it makes sense, because it leaves their questions unanswered and they have to start again with searching for their identities."

"Yes. Some of my patients really WANTED the diagnosis and I really could have seen it."

"Some people are 'self-diagnosed', and it's kinda controversial, because you can't be an Asperger just because you decided so. But on the other hand it makes sense, you know. Because in some countries it's very hard to get diagnosis. There are many bureaucratic obstacles or it's expensive and I think deep inside the person just knows he or she has certain patterns of behaviour. I mean, they're not stupid, so I understand it."

"I totally agree with all your points."

"It's interesting to have a diagnosis though. I am kinda surprised in the same time. I had many doubts. I am not autistic in some ways. For example I understand an irony."

"And also you can keep an eye contact."

"Do I? Really?"

"Yes. You avoided it first when you're shy and uncertain but when you dive into some topic and you lost in your speech about some things, especially your interests, you keep the eye contact all the time."

"Oh... I didn't know that."

"But you speak very fast and you have very untypical way how you pronounce certain words. All in all you're rather highly functional. And it's very difficult to notice your autistic patterns first. But after the day we've spent here, I totally can see it."

And basically we've spoken like that for hours. Not literal quotes tho - just how I remember it.

Eventually I left with my new diagnosis.

Wow, just wow. It happened.

Then I checked my phone and realized I have a message from a friend. The message asked: "How are you?" and I replied with: "Autistic"

Soo that's it. I just wanted to share:)
 
Huh, it's interesting to read about the process here... is this usually how the diagnosis process works?

Mine was this loopy experience that took about a week and involved about 6 specialists working together for... some reason. ALOT of tests. At one point there were calipers involved, I never figured out what the hell that had to do with anything.

But yeah, I always sorta assumed that's how the process was for everyone. A team of doctors and lots of stuff being done. Being on this site though... that seems to be incorrect?


That aside, it sounds like your whole experience with it was good. I see plenty on here who dont have such positivity in their diagnosis process, regardless of the results.

But yeah, it's really quite the relief inded, aint it, to have that understanding finally.
 
That sounds great. I'm self diagnosed, it works for me. Depends how much you know about it I guess, and whether you would like to have an official diagnosis for any reason.
 
IntoTheVoid said:
(sorry for grammar mistakes. English is not my first language).

So today I visited a psychiatrist specialized in autism and finally got my diagnosis.

I got there like 30 minutes before and thinking about how much autistic it is being there so early. I waited for 20 minutes and then I rang the bell. She welcomed me and let me in. I put my jacket on a rack, the rack fell and hit the wall. And I was like "Whooopsie" and she explained this happens every time so I guess it's ok.

She was actually really nice and kind to me and I kinda enjoyed the whole interview. She really seemed to understand my... weirdness.

She asked me:

"So why do you think you have Asperger's syndrome and what made you think so?"

And I was like: "weeeeelll... Um.. You know. I've always kinda knew what autism is, but I was totally wrong. I had the shallow viewpoint that autism is someone who can't tie his shoes or maybe he's like Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang, but recently I read a book about it and realized it's something very different. And then I realized it's totally me. The book is about me!"

And I knew I am objective in this matter, because I had the feeling I might be "something" many times, but eventually I've always dropped the idea after deeper research. But not autism... It was the opposite. The deeper my knowledge was, the more convinced I was.

"So I decided to see an expert to confirm it or refute it!"

So then we talked and talked and talked for three hours.

And she gave me various tests and asked many questions - always assured me I can refuse to reply if the question makes me feel uncomfortable. Some of them were really intimate, yes.

She also asked about sensory issues.

"When I was young I had a carpet and I hated the carpet. It was horrible to touch it. I eventually took it and threw it into a trash can."

"And what happened next?"

"My mum came in and asked me where is the carpet."

"And what did you answer?"

"It disappeared, I said."

"Okay..."

Then she told me: "I have two more tests to do, however there is not point, because I know you have an Asperger's syndrome."

And I was like: "Wait... What?!"

"Sorry to drop it like that, but Aspergers usually hate when I talk and talk and talk when they want to know their diagnosis. So after many years of being a psychiatrist I better say it very quickly."

"Holy moly!"

"You're probably shocked now."

"Er... Kinda. But actually I don't feel pretty much anything. It's weird. I imagined this moment in my head many times, wondering what it will be like. And now it happened and I feel nothing."

"That's pretty common. Everybody feels like that in this moment."

"You know, most aspies online, on Reddit and on many communities are scary that they are NOT aspergers and the psychiatrist confirms it. I mean, it makes sense, because it leaves their questions unanswered and they have to start again with searching for their identities."

"Yes. Some of my patients really WANTED the diagnosis and I really could have seen it."

"Some people are 'self-diagnosed', and it's kinda controversial, because you can't be an Asperger just because you decided so. But on the other hand it makes sense, you know. Because in some countries it's very hard to get diagnosis. There are many bureaucratic obstacles or it's expensive and I think deep inside the person just knows he or she has certain patterns of behaviour. I mean, they're not stupid, so I understand it."

"I totally agree with all your points."

"It's interesting to have a diagnosis though. I am kinda surprised in the same time. I had many doubts. I am not autistic in some ways. For example I understand an irony."

"And also you can keep an eye contact."

"Do I? Really?"

"Yes. You avoided it first when you're shy and uncertain but when you dive into some topic and you lost in your speech about some things, especially your interests, you keep the eye contact all the time."

"Oh... I didn't know that."

"But you speak very fast and you have very untypical way how you pronounce certain words. All in all you're rather highly functional. And it's very difficult to notice your autistic patterns first. But after the day we've spent here, I totally can see it."

And basically we've spoken like that for hours. Not literal quotes tho - just how I remember it.

Eventually I left with my new diagnosis.

Wow, just wow. It happened.

Then I checked my phone and realized I have a message from a friend. The message asked: "How are you?" and I replied with: "Autistic"

Soo that's it. I just wanted to share:)
Click to expand...

Good for you! To me it was amazing to get answers to questions that I had about myself for all my life. However, I quickly learned to be careful about who I told about my diagnosis. Most people will not understand and some will think some pretty wild things.

I do not know where you are, but in the western US where I live, I had three different appointments with a psychologist who specialized in autism. The appointments were 2 to 3 hours long and I was given several different tests. The rest was him asking me questions and talking, while he was always writing in his notebook. The diagnosis was Asperger's Syndrome.
 
I think mine took a few weeks to a month??? A couple of months I think. I went for an intake, then an assessment. After that, I went and got my diagnosis. It wasn't just autism I was diagnosed with. I also was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. We (the family) already knew I had depression. I went to a therapist for it. It didn't last long, nor did it really help. But here, diagnosis takes about a couple of months. I had 2-3 appointments, different cognitive tests, and my diagnosis of "mild-to-moderate autism".
 
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I don't get it - why the process is so different in some areas? I read many stories and they are all very different :)

Like six specialists and such? :)
 
Thank you for writing your story - I really enjoyed reading all of it.

My experience was:
In 2003, I went to a counselor for other issues and told him in our first conversation, "Don't tell me if I have some sort of mental disorder - I don't want to know. I don't want to feel helpless. I want to believe I can do something about these issues." I'm sure now that he 100% knew I am autistic, probably from our first meeting. There were a few times where I mentioned interacting with or reading books about other autistic people and his eyebrows went up and he asked, "Oh! What did you think?", and I would say something like, "I want to learn how to do those math tricks they did" (or some other completely-missing-the-point comment) ... but for four years, he respected my first statement and never told me.

In 2017, I went to another counselor for anxiety issues and after about 45 minutes of describing how I struggle to focus, worry about whether I'm doing well enough at work, and other concerns, he said, "Well, I normally wait a while to ease someone into this, but you've said enough for me to believe you're ready for this now - you're autistic." I barely got enough time to say, "What?!!" before he launched into a spiel about what that means.

I totally get what your counselor said about people wanting to know. It made a whole lot of stuff make sense to me. It's helped me reframe a lot of memories and past conflicts, and understand that I wasn't a "bad kid," but was just trying to figure things out and not taking the same approach as everyone else. It's also allowed me to accept that I'm not always going to succeed doing things the same way everyone else does and freed me to try to find ways that work for me.

I hope your diagnosis helps you find your way.
 
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