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High Functioning Autism

SacredHeart

SacredHeart

Member
Hi,

I've lost count of how many attempts I have made to make this post!

I am 33, a working professional, and to most have everything under control but the truth is I don't.

The fact that I can hold onto a job whislt everyting else in my life is out of controll doesn't mean I'm ok, it is litteral the only thing holding me together and the only thing not spiralling out of control.

I feel trapped, lonely and isolated....I'm trying to get proffesional help but just feel i'm being met with a brick wall again, and again and again.
I'm going through the process of trying to get a formal diagnosis for autism but am acutley aware that the 'high functiong' element is working agaisnt me.

I am so tired and overwhelmed, I'm scared of myself.

I think i'm looking for someone that can relate....
 
HI and Welcome to the Forums @SacredHeart

This is a good place to find people who can relate, and this is a friendly place.
Do read some of the older posts about "high functioning" or ASD1. (The search engine is good and turns up relevant stuff)

Love your handle BTW
 
Alexej said:
HI and Welcome to the Forums @SacredHeart

This is a good place to find people who can relate, and this is a friendly place.
Do read some of the older posts about "high functioning" or ASD1. (The search engine is good and turns up relevant stuff)

Love your handle BTW
Click to expand...
You are too kind, thanks so much for coming back to me so quickly (it's appreciated!)
 
Welcome aboard, @SacredHeart, holding a job & being autistic is like holding two jobs.
This place is very friendly & the membership roster is always needing nice people.

I was wondering if you were a Catholic too? Your username gave me that impression. My girlfriend & I are both Catholics but she's not on the web site here--and there's also other users who are either Catholics or used to be so, including one user not active who is a priest in North Carolina. Sorry if that's a weird question, religions are a special interest of mine along with a ton of other crazy stuff.
 
@Gerontius thanks so much for the welcome.
No, I'm not catholic...raised protestant but struggle with the faith required to be religious. I love the idea of being religious though.
I think there is a pc based game that is being pushed on me via cookies and the subliminal got to me and it stuck.
 
SacredHeart said:
@Gerontius thanks so much for the welcome.
No, I'm not catholic...raised protestant but struggle with the faith required to be religious. I love the idea of being religious though.
I think there is a pc based game that is being pushed on me via cookies and the subliminal got to me and it stuck.
Click to expand...

PC based gaming? You're going to be able to find TONS of friends here then. This place is flat crawling with gamers. I don't game myself, but there are some people on here who do their own game designing.
And I totally understand about the "faith required" part being difficult. The only way I stayed practicing the faith was getting into a tradition of rational arguments for it, which actually is nice because it let me practice up and apply rational argument to all other things. (In short I am a colossal nerd.) But there is great fun to be had here, and I think you will find lots of friends who have similar interests.

We like everything and anything on here. Doesn't matter who you are, where you're from, what you do for a living--people who are nice to other folks & themselves, are going to get on just fine, and I hope you can enjoy it here.
 
Gerontius said:
PC based gaming? You're going to be able to find TONS of friends here then. This place is flat crawling with gamers. I don't game myself, but there are some people on here who do their own game designing.
And I totally understand about the "faith required" part being difficult. The only way I stayed practicing the faith was getting into a tradition of rational arguments for it, which actually is nice because it let me practice up and apply rational argument to all other things. (In short I am a colossal nerd.) But there is great fun to be had here, and I think you will find lots of friends who have similar interests.

We like everything and anything on here. Doesn't matter who you are, where you're from, what you do for a living--people who are nice to other folks & themselves, are going to get on just fine, and I hope you can enjoy it here.
Click to expand...
I get it, I feel I would benefit a lot from being a part of a religious group, I'm envious of those that are!
Clear values and principles, and a sense of community but always feel I'm much more likely to end up in a cult (which let's face it usually starts with the best of intentions).
As a teenager, i spent a lot of time in AOL chat rooms lol so feel this forum may be the right place for me.
 
I relate to you so much. I also have a job that i can manage to hold on to. But apart from that? I can barely take care of myself, financially etc. No friends, No social life, mental health problems.
Just because we can cope in some aspects doesn't mean it doesn't take x200 effort for us to seem" normal"
 
AprilR said:
I relate to you so much. I also have a job that i can manage to hold on to. But apart from that? I can barely take care of myself, financially etc. No friends, No social life, mental health problems.
Just because we can cope in some aspects doesn't mean it doesn't take x200 effort for us to seem" normal"
Click to expand...
Love it!


This is me, on weekends I need to stay in and often be alone just to get over it all.

Motivation to feed myself, so pretty much anything goes unless someone is pretty much making me
 
I also need to stay at home and rest during weekends. To feel like myself again, sometimes my friend and parents want to meet with me but often i don't even have the energy to do that.
 
SacredHeart said:
Hi,

I've lost count of how many attempts I have made to make this post!

I am 33, a working professional, and to most have everything under control but the truth is I don't.

The fact that I can hold onto a job whislt everyting else in my life is out of controll doesn't mean I'm ok, it is litteral the only thing holding me together and the only thing not spiralling out of control.

I feel trapped, lonely and isolated....I'm trying to get proffesional help but just feel i'm being met with a brick wall again, and again and again.
I'm going through the process of trying to get a formal diagnosis for autism but am acutley aware that the 'high functiong' element is working agaisnt me.

I am so tired and overwhelmed, I'm scared of myself.

I think i'm looking for someone that can relate....
Click to expand...
Didn’t realize that you were very new. Welcome!=)
Gerontius said:
holding a job & being autistic is like holding two jobs.
Click to expand...
This is such a true statement!
AprilR said:
I also have a job that i can manage to hold on to. But apart from that? I can barely take care of myself, financially etc. No friends, No social life, mental health problems.
Click to expand...
That was how I felt during my last job. It was not a surprise it was such a struggle. It’s a bit different this time around, so I guess it gets better if there’s some support in place to help you cope - do you have any support or possible access to support AprilR? Especially if you are struggling, maybe it could help you.=)
AprilR said:
Just because we can cope in some aspects doesn't mean it doesn't take x200 effort for us to seem" normal"
Click to expand...
That is very true. And for women on the spectrum it is really important for us to appear normal because of society expectations. Sometimes it can be too much.=(
SacredHeart said:
on weekends I need to stay in and often be alone just to get over it all.
Click to expand...
I do this a lot. If there is something that I have to do on the weekend, it usually blows me out afterwards and I end up doing nothing because I have no energy. I got told once by a psychiatrist that my time was measured in units, so it was best to do some things but I could always leave others for another day.
 
Owliet said:
Didn’t realize that you were very new. Welcome!=)

This is such a true statement!

That was how I felt during my last job. It was not a surprise it was such a struggle. It’s a bit different this time around, so I guess it gets better if there’s some support in place to help you cope - do you have any support or possible access to support AprilR? Especially if you are struggling, maybe it could help you.=)

That is very true. And for women on the spectrum it is really important for us to appear normal because of society expectations. Sometimes it can be too much.=(

I do this a lot. If there is something that I have to do on the weekend, it usually blows me out afterwards and I end up doing nothing because I have no energy. I got told once by a psychiatrist that my time was measured in units, so it was best to do some things but I could always leave others for another day.
Click to expand...
I see a psychiatrist regularly and take medication for anxiety. It helps a lot, but wish it wasnt so expensive.
 
Can totally relate.

Have a uni degree and was able to hold down jobs in the past. On the surface I appeared normal enough and I don't think anyone would have believed I had autism. Beneath the surface I was always exhausted, stressed, having meltdowns and eventually the strain took its toll on my body too.

Hope you get a medical professional who understands.
 
Hi and welcome. It's an accomplishment to do well at a job at 17. I think it's important to have some part of your life to anchor the rest on. Work may not be one's first choice, but it can serve for a while and does help make sure other things do not become big problems, like finances, living situation, transportation, etc. Was wondering in what way you are 'scared of yourself' ?
 
SacredHeart said:
Hi,

I've lost count of how many attempts I have made to make this post!

I am 33, a working professional, and to most have everything under control but the truth is I don't.

The fact that I can hold onto a job whislt everyting else in my life is out of controll doesn't mean I'm ok, it is litteral the only thing holding me together and the only thing not spiralling out of control.

I feel trapped, lonely and isolated....I'm trying to get proffesional help but just feel i'm being met with a brick wall again, and again and again.
I'm going through the process of trying to get a formal diagnosis for autism but am acutley aware that the 'high functiong' element is working agaisnt me.

I am so tired and overwhelmed, I'm scared of myself.

I think i'm looking for someone that can relate....
Click to expand...
I understand and can relate to this . And it’s actually the repetition and structure of a job that helps me keep things together. Even when other things are falling apart . If you want I can pass along information to you from one of the Leading Psychologists in America for Adult Autism. It may take a few months to get an appointment, but it maybe worth the wait . And I believe they can do it over zoom . The talking part that is . Of course there will be other tests done on paper , which can be sent to you .
 
Hi and welcome.

I was diagnosed high functioning also late in life.
It was based on the fact I've worked most of my life and had a high IQ.
Forget the fact the rest of my life was an anxiety filled, never able to live alone,
no social abilities mess.

Don't understand how the diagnosis' come up with some of the things they do.
It doesn't matter now at my age, but I understand how you are feeling.
I still struggle with anxiety and don't know how I will ever handle living alone.
I have a housemate which is no substitute for my family who are all deceased now.
Guess I'll know how to handle things when the time comes.
That's the best we can do. Best of luck to you!
 
Moogwizard said:
I understand and can relate to this . And it’s actually the repetition and structure of a job that helps me keep things together. Even when other things are falling apart . If you want I can pass along information to you from one of the Leading Psychologists in America for Adult Autism. It may take a few months to get an appointment, but it maybe worth the wait . And I believe they can do it over zoom . The talking part that is . Of course there will be other tests done on paper , which can be sent to you .
Click to expand...
That is so kind, however, I am based in the UK.
I'm knocking on many doors in terms of help and support, hopefully, at least one will lead somewhere!
 
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