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Hi

TPG

TPG

New Member
Hello my username is TPG, which are my initials.

I haven't been diagnosed for aspergers, as I consciously avoid a diagnosis; it would bar me from the military, which I plan to be apart of as an officer. Autism runs in my family, my aunt was hospitalized most her life due to it, and my Mom was mute until a much later age, but only had been diagnosed recently. I apparently had signs of autism; Shaking hand as a newborn, and as a child I was mute as well as constantly rocked, etc. I usually get ridiculously high results on these autism tests, but I'm not certain how accurate these are.. I find myself analyzing everything, I mean everything. This sometimes causes me to become overwhelmed if there is too much, especially sound, at that point I would usually wear headphones and listen to music to calm down, while closing my eyes.

I'm in college now. I'm 18. I'm always either one of the best students, or absolutely horrible. My college courses are either A's or F's. I feel like sometimes I get so manic, like I just can't shutdown. I'm having all these thoughts and it's just constant, it feels like my mind is going 100 mph, if this happens at night; I will not sleep. Not to mention I get extremely obsessed with one thing, it becomes my life, then after a week or so I move on to another.

I wouldn't say I'm gifted. I know that's something that's sort of associated with aspergers, that you're mathematically inclined or talented -- I would say I'm the opposite. I was the bottom of my class one year, then top of it the next. I eventually just was taken out of school and learned Algebra, Algebra 2 and Calculus, in a obsession which lasted 2 months, in which I'd study for close to 8 hours a day, to what end? Hell if I know.

Now, I'm at the point where I just want to be among people that understand me and think like me.

Thanks for reading!
TPG
 
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I was in military 27 years, enlisted. I'd say the most important quality is steadiness. Sometimes to the point of being an automaton. If you can't assume and hold that persona/mask indefinately it will be very problematic in the military.
 
Hi TPG. Everything you hit on described me when I was young - including the earphones and music. I didn't know I was on the spectrum until I was 58. I didn't talk until the second grade. I rocked (but didn't realize that until later - once my mom asked why I was doing that and once my boss asked why I was rocking). My school grades were like yours - A this time and F the next. I've gone back through report cards and there were a lot of marked boxes - does not pay attention, does not play well with others, etc, etc. I've even gone through early pictures (parents didn't take many pictures of their kids back then) but most of them I'm looking away or if I was told to look at them, my eyes are still looking away.
I did the test and I had my daughter in law do the test because she is 100%NT. She scored very low while my son and I scored very high. I had her take it for 2 reasons. 1 To kind of check the legitimacy of the test. 2 So she would understand the difference in her and my son's way of thinking.
I haven't been on this forum too long, but not it's the first place I come every day. The differences in age, yet similarities in our struggles. I think you will like it here. It's just a friendly place to be.
 
Thank you to everyone who greeted me! I appreciate it, you've all made me feel very welcomed to be apart of this forum.
 
Welcome TPG.
Hope you enjoy it here as much as I do.
Always something interesting for learning and good people to share with. :D
 
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