Hi Everyone!
I'm new here, and a NT daughter. My father has not been formally diagnosed but i realized a few years ago he has Asperger's. I'm 100% sure about it. I'd say 1000% if that were possible
I know armchair diagnoses is frowned upon, but i do have a background in the MH field and have obviously interacted with him for a long time.
My main question is- he is 73 years old-- Should I tell him that I suspect he has aspergers? I have not yet, but am thinking i should now.
Has anyone here found out later in life, and what did you think about it? Was it a relief? I have mixed feelings on this.
He will probably initially reject this, saying "there's nothing wrong with me" and could possibly (probably) get angry with me. But I also feel that regardless of the initial response he may have, he will think in detail about it. maybe obsessively so.
Why do i want to tell him? well, I'd like to help him make sense of why he sees the world the way he does, and I think it could help him understand our relationship all these years, which can be strained and volatile. I also think he is at a stage in life where he is experiencing tremendous anxiety and loneliness. He was put on medication a few years ago for panic attacks.
He has lost what few friends he had and is fairly socially isolated. He wants to be with my sister and I (both out of state). We have offered that he come live with either of us. And while he said he wants to, he always finds an 'excuse' why he can't (we're on the fence about it anyway).
Recognizing his need for routine (and his sensitivities to things around him) i've also suggested he come stay for a brief period of time, then go home. Then go to my sisters, then go home- so he can have mini vactions but then get back to his routine. He always finds an excuse he can't leave- but then will complain he has to get out of his house/out of his town etc..
I'm seeing him more 'trapped' than ever. I think he's paralyzed now by his own anxiety and responses to the world around him. I told him last week that i think he feels like he "wants everything to change, but also wants nothing to change".
Long story short, I want to tell him i suspect Aspergers so he can understand some of his nuances, some of his needs, some of his responses to the world around him. i would like him to go back on medication for anxiety (and think he needs depression medication too). I do not think he'll go to a doctor for a specific diagnosis, but maybe he will understand more and we can work to find a solution to how he is feeling at this stage in life. What do you think? Could it help at this age/stage in life? if you went your whole life without a diagnosis would you be relieved to understand? his reactions can be volatile though.
I started to provide historical information, but then deleted in the interest of keeping this brief. If anyone is curious why i am convinced he has Asperger's, I'm happy to share more details.
I'm new here, and a NT daughter. My father has not been formally diagnosed but i realized a few years ago he has Asperger's. I'm 100% sure about it. I'd say 1000% if that were possible
I know armchair diagnoses is frowned upon, but i do have a background in the MH field and have obviously interacted with him for a long time.
My main question is- he is 73 years old-- Should I tell him that I suspect he has aspergers? I have not yet, but am thinking i should now.
Has anyone here found out later in life, and what did you think about it? Was it a relief? I have mixed feelings on this.
He will probably initially reject this, saying "there's nothing wrong with me" and could possibly (probably) get angry with me. But I also feel that regardless of the initial response he may have, he will think in detail about it. maybe obsessively so.
Why do i want to tell him? well, I'd like to help him make sense of why he sees the world the way he does, and I think it could help him understand our relationship all these years, which can be strained and volatile. I also think he is at a stage in life where he is experiencing tremendous anxiety and loneliness. He was put on medication a few years ago for panic attacks.
He has lost what few friends he had and is fairly socially isolated. He wants to be with my sister and I (both out of state). We have offered that he come live with either of us. And while he said he wants to, he always finds an 'excuse' why he can't (we're on the fence about it anyway).
Recognizing his need for routine (and his sensitivities to things around him) i've also suggested he come stay for a brief period of time, then go home. Then go to my sisters, then go home- so he can have mini vactions but then get back to his routine. He always finds an excuse he can't leave- but then will complain he has to get out of his house/out of his town etc..
I'm seeing him more 'trapped' than ever. I think he's paralyzed now by his own anxiety and responses to the world around him. I told him last week that i think he feels like he "wants everything to change, but also wants nothing to change".
Long story short, I want to tell him i suspect Aspergers so he can understand some of his nuances, some of his needs, some of his responses to the world around him. i would like him to go back on medication for anxiety (and think he needs depression medication too). I do not think he'll go to a doctor for a specific diagnosis, but maybe he will understand more and we can work to find a solution to how he is feeling at this stage in life. What do you think? Could it help at this age/stage in life? if you went your whole life without a diagnosis would you be relieved to understand? his reactions can be volatile though.
I started to provide historical information, but then deleted in the interest of keeping this brief. If anyone is curious why i am convinced he has Asperger's, I'm happy to share more details.