Hi there!
My husband is on the autism spectrum.
I notice with my husband that when engaged in conversation with me (and I know his heart is in it) he often interrupt me; either if I am in the middle of a sentence as he thinks he knows what my point is so he finishes it for me (but could very well be wrong too), or he thinks me having a quick pause is the sign that he can say what he wants to say. He tells me that no he is not interrupting, that we're just talking, we're just discussing.
I can see he has no bad intent, but it can come off as if he is only interested in his own words. I have noticed though that he seem to take in what it is that I do say, what comes across to him, that he think about it and then hours or even days later take it up with me again, and that I think is real sweet of him.
We are parents too. One of them interrupt and can too do high-note and out of place freaky sounds that I think everyone thought was funny before, but it is still going and I think as the years ahead it will be looked at as not so funny no more.
I have asked my husband if he interrupts at work and he says he does not, and when he is with his family I notice he does not, he does not speak much at all, but while with me he talks a lot (and that is wonderful, it isn't that); the same goes with a child.
I have so far pointed out "You are interrupting him/her/me", but I don't have much success with it. I understand children can interrupt each other a lot as they are so much caught in the moment, excited.
What can I do to help my husband "cool it a bit", take it down, to not interrupt my sentence or take my micro-pause as an indication that now I am done?
I am a somewhat introvert and reflective and so when I chose to speak to him about something I have it already planned out what I want to say. He is straight forward.
It hurts me to see how one adult would treat a child with autism and ADHD. When I was with them I could tell the child called for it's parent several times in a row and would carefully tap the adult on the arm but the adult just kept on talking to another adult. I have always said "Yes" when called on and listened. I would say "Not right now, sweetie, I hear you, but I have to do this first or I have to finish this first". To me to ignore a child the way I have also read somewhere I think is awful. Sure children has to learn to wait, but to me it is as if it is a sign of emotional neglect to not respond.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
-That is how do I make my husband realize I wish to finish my sentence and my micro-pause is just before I wish to speak some more?
-How do I learn a child to "sit back" and not interrupt or make high pinned noises (my husband never make those) when talking with friends or us? Often I have noticed this child go away too as I think it itself feel as if it has gone too high up in motion and start then to do something else, like going under the table if we are all sitting by the table. just to use one example.
Thank you.
My husband is on the autism spectrum.
I notice with my husband that when engaged in conversation with me (and I know his heart is in it) he often interrupt me; either if I am in the middle of a sentence as he thinks he knows what my point is so he finishes it for me (but could very well be wrong too), or he thinks me having a quick pause is the sign that he can say what he wants to say. He tells me that no he is not interrupting, that we're just talking, we're just discussing.
I can see he has no bad intent, but it can come off as if he is only interested in his own words. I have noticed though that he seem to take in what it is that I do say, what comes across to him, that he think about it and then hours or even days later take it up with me again, and that I think is real sweet of him.
We are parents too. One of them interrupt and can too do high-note and out of place freaky sounds that I think everyone thought was funny before, but it is still going and I think as the years ahead it will be looked at as not so funny no more.
I have asked my husband if he interrupts at work and he says he does not, and when he is with his family I notice he does not, he does not speak much at all, but while with me he talks a lot (and that is wonderful, it isn't that); the same goes with a child.
I have so far pointed out "You are interrupting him/her/me", but I don't have much success with it. I understand children can interrupt each other a lot as they are so much caught in the moment, excited.
What can I do to help my husband "cool it a bit", take it down, to not interrupt my sentence or take my micro-pause as an indication that now I am done?
I am a somewhat introvert and reflective and so when I chose to speak to him about something I have it already planned out what I want to say. He is straight forward.
It hurts me to see how one adult would treat a child with autism and ADHD. When I was with them I could tell the child called for it's parent several times in a row and would carefully tap the adult on the arm but the adult just kept on talking to another adult. I have always said "Yes" when called on and listened. I would say "Not right now, sweetie, I hear you, but I have to do this first or I have to finish this first". To me to ignore a child the way I have also read somewhere I think is awful. Sure children has to learn to wait, but to me it is as if it is a sign of emotional neglect to not respond.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
-That is how do I make my husband realize I wish to finish my sentence and my micro-pause is just before I wish to speak some more?
-How do I learn a child to "sit back" and not interrupt or make high pinned noises (my husband never make those) when talking with friends or us? Often I have noticed this child go away too as I think it itself feel as if it has gone too high up in motion and start then to do something else, like going under the table if we are all sitting by the table. just to use one example.
Thank you.