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Hello

I am originally from Russia. I came to US when I was 14. Right now I am 43. I completted my first Ph.D. in Physics in Michigan when I was 29. Then I went to India to do postdocs. Right now I am finishing up my second Ph.D. in math in New Mexico. Trying to figure out what to do next with my career.
 

tree

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DaisyRose

Active Member
Hello Polchinski, It’s nice to meet you! I’m also in the process of trying to figure out what to do with my career since I just graduated from college. I feel like time flies by too quickly these days and before you know it a decade has passed. I hope you are able to have a good time and share your experiences with others.
 
Hello Polchinski, It’s nice to meet you! I’m also in the process of trying to figure out what to do with my career since I just graduated from college. I feel like time flies by too quickly these days and before you know it a decade has passed. I hope you are able to have a good time and share your experiences with others.

In my experience, the time up until the last year in high school went slow. But then starting from that year onward, it speeded up like crazy. Did the time for you speed up earlier than for me? Or did you simply go to college really late?

Congratulations on getting your degree! What subject area did you study? And what career plans are you considering?
 
Welcome!

Have you considered working in finance perhaps?

No. I am quite set on theoretical physics, since this was my life time goal since I was 9. The only direction I can "broaden" it a little is pure math. But nothing applied. What really interests me is the philosophical aspects of mathematics and physics. Thats why applied stuff (be that applied physics or applied math) just won't cut it for me.
 

DaisyRose

Active Member
In my experience, the time up until the last year in high school went slow. But then starting from that year onward, it speeded up like crazy. Did the time for you speed up earlier than for me? Or did you simply go to college really late?

Congratulations on getting your degree! What subject area did you study? And what career plans are you considering?
Time after high school did speed up for me. I always thought my mom was joking when she would say once you graduate high school time flies by. It feels like everything has changed so quickly while at the same time feeling like I just graduated from high school.

I majored in business administration to focus on being an administrative assistant in the future. During my last semester, I was given the opportunity to apply for a paid internship at a law firm. I was happy one of my professors recommended this position to me.

I had a phone interview and then I went to an in-person interview. The lady who interviewed me said she would call back within a week, but I never heard back. I’ve been patiently waiting to hear back since then. I sent out an email to ask about the status of my application and she responded.

She said her boss has been out of town for two weeks, which has put a hold on the position. I hope to hear back soon so I can start working somewhere. I’ve been extremely excited to finally get a job to become more independent. I hope I can get one soon so I can expand on my work experience. This is where I’m at right now for my career plans. If I don’t hear back I will start to apply to other jobs in my area.
 
Time after high school did speed up for me. I always thought my mom was joking when she would say once you graduate high school time flies by. It feels like everything has changed so quickly while at the same time feeling like I just graduated from high school.

I majored in business administration to focus on being an administrative assistant in the future. During my last semester, I was given the opportunity to apply for a paid internship at a law firm. I was happy one of my professors recommended this position to me.

I had a phone interview and then I went to an in-person interview. The lady who interviewed me said she would call back within a week, but I never heard back. I’ve been patiently waiting to hear back since then. I sent out an email to ask about the status of my application and she responded.

She said her boss has been out of town for two weeks, which has put a hold on the position. I hope to hear back soon so I can start working somewhere. I’ve been extremely excited to finally get a job to become more independent. I hope I can get one soon so I can expand on my work experience. This is where I’m at right now for my career plans. If I don’t hear back I will start to apply to other jobs in my area.

I haven't been applying to job interviews all that much. I spent most of my life earning by either being in graduate school where I earn as a TA, or by being a postdoc. The only exception is last semester where I taught at a community college.

However, part of the reason I didn't spend a lot of time applying for jobs is precisely because of the issues you described. People tend to be flaky. I remember, back when I was much younger, I expected that people would respond, and was dwelling on every non-response sort of the way you did. But eventually I realize thats how people are, and I grew to even expect it. Yes, people promise all kinds of stuff, just to be polite or what not, and then they don't follow through. I was actually surprised I got a teaching job in a community college last fall. I thought I wouldn't hear from them (just like I never hear from anyone) and only filled out application just to tell myself "I tried".

But, speaking of community college job, I lost it in a manner that was just as surprising as getting it. As I got religious exemption from having COVID vaccine, I was supposed to test every week. I didn't get my first test on time because of the mailing delays, so I taught a lecture class by zoom and got substitute to teach a lab. They weren't happy about either. Then I finally got a test, just on time to teach a lab. But I was too disracted by this issue to get adequately prepare for the lab. They discovered it before I ever walked into the classroom, just by the way I talked about it, so they took the lab class away from me. I still kept the lecture class. My class was observed three times rather than once since they were already suspicious of me. First time I was well prepared but I taught on too high level. Second time I again taught on too high level and was unprepared as well. The third time I finally taught on a low level, but I again was unprepared. So they decided to never let me teach again. Now, after the semester was over, I got very positive student reviews. Well, if I were to teach the way I taught during the two observations I was unprepared, they wouldn't have been nearly so positive. So this basically confirms my piont that I just happened to have had bad days and it wasn't how I usually taught. But no: they stick to their decision that I shouldn't teach, because hte decision has already been made.

By the way, what I just described is what happened with my physics teaching. As far as math teaching, they didn't invite me on the interview on the first place (kind of like what you described is happening with you). So what I was thinking is "its not a big deal they didn't invite me for math, I didn't expect them to; but I feel so lucky I got invited for physics". But then, several months later, I was told something really interesting that basically shown me that I was a fool thinking that. In the context of the second report where I taught on too high level, they told me that this was the reason I wasn't invited for interview to teach math. In particular, my cover letter for the math application was way too long, and I kept talking about the way I won't teach it in a conventional manner -- and in particular that I wanted to add things that they interpretted as making the material more difficult for the students. Now, that was a surprise. Because I was thinking that my application just fell through the cracks and so I need to elaborate it to make it stand out. But no, it was the opposite to that. It didn't fall through the cracks. It very much drew attention to itself -- a negative one. So now I feel like I was fooled.

And here is another example of simplar phenomenon. When I write emails, most people don't respond to them. So I was thinking my emails just fall through cracks or what not. But my mom insists that I write them in a way thats not grammatical or what not (by HER standards not mine!) She likes to edit her own emails for hours. So one of those days she actually forced me to spend two hours with her editting my enail. And guess what: it got response right away. So here I was stupidly thinking that people "don't have time to pay attention". But actually they DO pay attention -- enough so as to make this 2 hour inspection that my mom is making (why else would they notice the changes my mom made?) So if they have time to inspect my email for 2 hours, why don't they have time to respond to it? Thats totally beyond me.

So basically what I am trying to tell you is

1) People are flaky. They make promises they don't keep

2) They led me to believe that they "don't have time to respond" while in reality they have plenty of time -- to be picky

I noticed this in dating. And I noticed this in job market, too.
 

Thinx

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Hi and welcome. It sounds like you are doing really well in education to an advanced standard. Yes, some jobs I have applied for I have left off some of my qualifications even, as they would likely dismiss me as over qualified. In terms of the emails and applications, it won't be taking them 2 hours to read an application, but I agree that often one has to spend that long making the application suitable and well written for them. Then they read it quickly and think it fits well with their job.

If you say too much or seem like you will approach the work in creative ways they deem unsuitable, they will not like the sound of that, as you found. To be fair, good teaching for specific groups does take a while to develop, and that's probably part of why your teaching was uneven, too. In higher education people often don't get qualified in teaching as well as their chosen subject, whereas for community college this would be an advantage.


I hope you find work that you will enjoy, sounds like higher education institutions are the way to go.
 
Sorry I went all technical in the introductory post. I hope I didn't allienate y'all. I guess this is one example of how Asperger affects me. I tend to be long winded and technical when I shouldn't :(
 

Rodafina

Hopefully Human
V.I.P Member
tend to be long winded and technical when I shouldn't
I think that’s perfectly okay here. Sorry you feel alienated. Sometimes the intro threads are short lived, but you can jump in to other threads or start a new one on something that interests you.
 
I think that’s perfectly okay here.

That reminds me of how NT-s are saying that I am just fine the way I am. Well, except that nobody talks to me. But NT-s say its fine too.

Sometimes the intro threads are short lived,

Looking through other threads in the "Intro" section, the majority of them have more replies than this one.

But what you said is technically correct since you used the word "sometimes". And its true, "some" intro threads have fewer replies than this one. But they are in a minority.

Which begs the question: what separates the intro threads with more replies from the intro threads with shorter replies? Probably the same thing that separates aspies from NT-s in the real life.

I participated in other aspie communities and I kept noticing that most aspies have better social skills + are more successful socially than me. Which is super frustrating.

but you can jump in to other threads or start a new one on something that interests you.

Yes, in other words, nobody likes me as a person. The only way they would talk to me is if they like the "topic" I talk about. Well, if it was all about the topic I could just use google instead.

It reminds me of someone suggesting that I help my classmates with homework when I was complaining that they don't talk to me. No thanks, I don't want to be used for homework. I want to be liked as a person.

I guess talking about a topic of my own interest is not as bad as doing someone else's homework, at least hey thats something *I* am interested in, not them. But fact remains: they don't like me as a person. Its all about some topic/homework/whatever.

The question remains: how do other manage to write INTRO threads about themselves AS PEOPLE, and get replies?
 

Rodafina

Hopefully Human
V.I.P Member
That reminds me of how NT-s are saying that I am just fine the way I am. Well, except that nobody talks to me. But NT-s say its fine too.
I understand, but since you like technicalities, as do I, evidence is in that I am not neurotypical, so this is different. For clarification, I should have said that trait you described is welcome here.

Looking through other threads in the "Intro" section, the majority of them have more replies than this one.

But what you said is technically correct since you used the word "sometimes". And its true, "some" intro threads have fewer replies than this one. But they are in a minority.
Interesting analysis of the data, and you are definitely correct.

Which begs the question: what separates the intro threads with more replies from the intro threads with shorter replies?
Good question. We are a curious bunch here. I like this sort of analysis.

Probably the same thing that separates aspies from NT-s in the real life.
What do you think that is?

I participated in other aspie communities and I kept noticing that most aspies have better social skills + are more successful socially than me. Which is super frustrating.
I never spoke to anyone on the internet outside of this forum. I have no idea if I am socially successful, but I can say that the people here welcomed me and they support me, make me think, and make me happy.

Yes, in other words, nobody likes me as a person.
That’s a bit if a leap, I think. A suggestion to share in topic based interaction is just an offer of friendliness. Just an idea. It says nothing about you as a person.

The only way they would talk to me is if they like the "topic" I talk about. Well, if it was all about the topic I could just use google instead.
I find forum members’ answers more interesting and thorough than google sometimes.

It reminds me of someone suggesting that I help my classmates with homework when I was complaining that they don't talk to me. No thanks, I don't want to be used for homework. I want to be liked as a person.
Agreed. I have read several experiences here where people like us for our quirkiness, our interesting knowledge, or other things over sincere and genuine acceptance.

The question remains: how do other manage to write INTRO threads about themselves AS PEOPLE, and get replies?
Good question. I don’t know. I never thought of this before you mentioned it.
 
That’s a bit if a leap, I think. A suggestion to share in topic based interaction is just an offer of friendliness. Just an idea. It says nothing about you as a person.

What it says about me is that, while everyone else is appreciated as people (based on their intro threads), I can only hope to be appreciated for topics. So, as a person, I am viewed as less than they are (since their intro threads get more welcome than mine). And the only way I can hope to compensate is by bringing up interesting topics. But I want to be liked as a person not for a topic. And apparently as a person I am not liked.

I find forum members’ answers more interesting and thorough than google sometimes.

Thats true, but thats not the main thing I am after. I wish people could like me as a person the way they do other members. They don't. So now I have to "talk about interesting topics" with people that dislike me as a person.
 

Rodafina

Hopefully Human
V.I.P Member
What it says about me is that, while everyone else is appreciated as people (based on their intro threads), I can only hope to be appreciated for topics. So, as a person, I am viewed as less than they are (since their intro threads get more welcome than mine). And the only way I can hope to compensate is by bringing up interesting topics. But I want to be liked as a person not for a topic. And apparently as a person I am not liked.



Thats true, but thats not the main thing I am after. I wish people could like me as a person the way they do other members. They don't. So now I have to "talk about interesting topics" with people that dislike me as a person.

Well, if we think this through, you are very new here and there is no way for anyone to know you as a person yet. So if I were you, I would stick around chitchat in a thread when you want to or play a game or respond to others and see where it goes, maybe you will find acceptance. But, I’m not here to tell anyone what to do.

We are here talking. That’s something. And we have interacted in another thread. I don’t dislike you as a person. Of course, I don’t know you well yet, so it would be impossible for me to form an opinion just yet.

One last thought is to not take the analytics of the site and what threads receive more posts to seriously. There are other factors to consider like maybe some thing very pressing or interesting was posted at a similar time. There’s so much going on here it is easy to miss threads. Anyway, I hope you get what you want from this place.
 
Well, if we think this through, you are very new here and there is no way for anyone to know you as a person yet.

The same applies to everyone else who makes intro threads. Yet they get more replies than me.

Its called first impression and thats what I am suck at -- both in real life and apparently here too.
 

Rodafina

Hopefully Human
V.I.P Member
The same applies to everyone else who makes intro threads. Yet they get more replies than me.

Its called first impression and thats what I am suck at -- both in real life and apparently here too.

It sounds like I can’t help you feel better about the situation, but it was my friendliness and acceptance of you that tried.
 

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