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Hello; undiagnosed 46-y.o. Aspergers, saying hi!

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Brook, Mar 7, 2020.

  1. Brook

    Brook Active Member

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    Hi everyone ! I am introducing myself because i'm not sure if I have yet!

    In a nutshell, I am a guy with (what I am almost positive is) undiagnosed Asperger's/HFA (the main challenge I deal with), as well as ADHD, social anxiety disorder, a small smattering of OCD, a specific learning disability, light/mild depression that comes and goes, and probably a few other things. Life is challenging, to say the least, so I figured I'd come here for support, sounding boards, and advice.

    You may wonder how, if I'm undiagnosed as I say, that I would know I have Asperger's. Well, pretty much almost EVERY characteristic of someone with Aspergers or HFA that I have read, I can relate to. I was made fun of mercilessly in school, was always left out or last, was treated differently and even TOLD a time or two that I was different, was called many derogatory names, and thus, hated school with a passion. I am ultra-introverted, preferring to stay at home 95% of the time with my very boring interests, rather that socialize with ANYONE, even people I know well (of which there aren't many). I NEVER speak up in groups, due to my social anxiety, and worry about being contradicted, laughed at for saying something dumb, ignored or not heard, saying things that are non-sequitur (due to either not hearing the discussion due to my ADHD, or, misunderstanding due to the learning disability or Aspergers), and other things.

    I have horrible anger and, if I didn't restrain myself, would constantly be telling people to F off or cussing them out, for them either ignoring me, or doing things that irritate me (of which there are many), or doing things that hurt me (which is extremely easy; I am quite thin-skinned, much to my annoyance). I could very easily end up beating people up, and ending up in jail and in a world of hurt and regret, without the restraint that i'm forced to use.

    I am sensitive to certain physical stimuli, as is common in Asperger's, and I believe as a result of this, I have what's known as misophonia, which is a hatred of certain sounds that sends someone into instant anger upon hearing them.

    I am always worried people think I'm a creep and a weirdo. I don't see anything that would allude to that, but I'm always paranoid about it, knowing that Asperger's people can seem creepy due to their "differentness". The fact that I'm a single guy, with no kids, probably tends to give people and even greater pause. I tend to hover over people while they are in a conversation, because I hate interrupting, but that seems to make people uncomfortable; sometimes I forego talking to people who are already in a conversation for that reason.

    I could go on and on with all the details but, I dont want to bore anyone, and verbosity is another huge issue of mine (and not getting to the point or taking 20 rabbit trails trying to get to it), so I'm going to just pretty much end it by saying: I'm sick of living this way, suffice it to say. So I am joining this site and chatting with you all, to get tips and support. I hope that I can receive that from you but also assist and uplift all of you, also.

    Thanks so much everyone. Hugs!
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2020
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  2. Sarah S

    Sarah S Well-Known Member

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    Wellcome to the forums Brook

    Only a certified evaluation can determan if you have this and or other possible diagnosis of course

    We have much in common i see with the diagnoses you do have and like you i have been treated and regarded as a idiot (ie also bullied/ Frozend out etc... from pre kindergarten and thru the entire school up to adult where i was treated as an idiot up to late adult hood (ie 40 +) and i also see were from both from the 70 `s were they dident know diddly of any of this diagnosis as you know. :rolleyes:

    As to youre question . Yes many (infact the majority) with ADHD also have ASD in fact its more or less the norm this days to have both ,and the other diagnosis you have are also well known comorbid diagnosis to ADHD as well as ASD )
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2020
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  3. Isadoorian

    Isadoorian Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process! :)
     
  4. Nitro

    Nitro Admin/Immoral Turpitude Staff Member Admin V.I.P Member

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    Hi Brook

    welcome to af.png
     
  5. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    Welcome here.
     
  6. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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  7. clg114

    clg114 Still crazy, after all these years. Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    Welcome to Autism Forums!
     
  8. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Welcome, I hope that you enjoy it here.

    :snowflake::spoutingwhale::snowflake::whale::snowflake::dolphin::snowflake:
     
  9. Schism

    Schism Well-Known Member

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    Hi & Welcome Brook. Sounds pretty familiar to me too. And this:
    ..it's only boring to others, not to you, so it's a good thing for you. There are people out there that will have a similar passion for whatever your interests are, just got to find them. This forum is a good step forward to finding some ☺
     
  10. Giraffes

    Giraffes Active Member

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    Hi welcome to the forum i hope you find connection,and a sence of community here.