Hello Everyone

[ladybug]

Thank you ladybug. I hope I got a good Dr, I don't fancy much what happened to OkRag. I'll try to paste it thick, without embellishing. I'll be true. But tread carefully. My mother is coming with me. She says things I can't remember, I was lawayse like it .. good old mam. But don't get me wrong, very narcissistic, my nemesis. But in this case.. a saint

Ah..... but that's the role of a mum (mam).... they know you inside out... but also know when you need a little push in the right direction..... you'll both be fine, I'm sure.....

 

[superboyian]

Welcome to Autism Forums, thanks for joining.

 

[Streetwise]

I am a 67 year old woman living in Australia. My brother has a young child who is thought to have autism, but not officially diagnosed yet as there is a long waiting list to see a pediatrician for proper diagnosis. In the course of reading about autism I have come to the realisation that I probably have aspergers and our father probably did too. This came as a bit of a shock as I had never considered it previously, but also made sense of a lot of things about my life I had never had answers for.

I'm still coming to terms with how I feel about it because although it helps me understand myself, it also feels a bit like uggh.......another label to add to my list! Chronic depression, anxiety and insomnia have dogged me since my teens and I have always struggled with relationships of all types........friends, lovers, work colleagues and family.

Despite these difficulties I have managed to be fairly high functioning and have now retired from work, heaving a sigh of relief that I don't have to keep struggling to fit in, at least in that area. Being high functioning is a bit of a double edged sword because people perceive me to be fortunate and "successful" and therefore have nothing to be depressed or anxious about. I have always felt totally misunderstood.

I am going to see my doctor tomorrow and am considering asking for a referral to see a psychologist for a formal diagnosis and just generally someone to talk it all over with. I have spent a considerable amount of time over the course of my life talking to psychs and counsellors, but really haven't had much success or help from any of them. I'm not sure this time will be any different.

I would be interested to hear from anyone who has had a diagnosis late in life and whether it has helped them. I'm also wondering whether it is a good idea to tell people or just keep it to myself? I did tell my brother, but he seemed pretty disinterested. Not an unusual reaction from him. My family have always been dismissive of any of my mental health problems. Once again, probably because they have perceived me to be "successful", and I think there may be some jealousy involved.

I'd better end here or I'll be going on all day!

Could you possibly travel to Brisbane or afford to ?I know Tony Attwood is a specialist in aspergers and his practice is there or was .

 

[Fitzo]

I KNEW i had it, even had a dx but went back since the dsm changed and the dr RUDELY informed me i didnt have it. He sat back in his chair with crossed arms and sarcastically said, "so what do you think of all this autism stuff?"

I was taken aback and went into fake mode.

"Ummmm . Not sure ...."

Triumphantly., as if he could not wait to tell ANOTHER middle aged neurotic woman that she was NOT autistic and just personailty disordered and mentally ill, he said,

"As soon as you walked in, we knew you didnt have it. You smiled and looked at us in the eye. Downright Warm."

Then he said i am just mentally ill. I went to a geneticist who tested me and found i have a chromosome 6 duplication. Which causes things very close to autism. He had the report. The report says it is NOT mental yet the autism dr never even looked at it.

I have food, sleep, sensory, social, dev issues and his advice was DBT!!!

He us a famous autism specialist so i have no chance at an appeal.

My point is be careful. If you know you have it and are comfortable w self dx or old dx , be happy in it,. This caused me no small amount of despair thinking am crazy and feeling like i lost a community.

Be aware that Some drs are now reserving the entire spectrum for classical symptoms which is hurting women who present differently.,

Well I have just come back from my GP visit and I think I'm already getting a taste of what you experienced OkRad. My doctor assured me that it's highly unlikely I have it based on the fact he hasn't previously come across anyone diagnosed as an adult plus he's met me 2 or 3 times before and he would have known!!! PLUS it's not even called Aspergers anymore, it's now called something something Autism, which I don't even remember because I was so busy getting upset about his reaction! I'm now rethinking the whole thing!
He's given me a questionnaire to fill out and take back next time for an assessment to see if I qualify for a health care plan. Judging by the questions on the form I probably won't even qualify because it is very obviously directed at people suffering depression which I wasn't at the moment but am starting to feel now as a result of his attitude! OMG no wonder suicide rates are reaching epidemic proportions.
I now completely understand why others have advised being happy with your own diagnosis

 

[Fitzo]

Hi and welcome to AF.
I'm 39 and I officially start my assessment with AS specialist **tomorrow**
I've struggled with the things you say in your first post. Sounds very familiar family similarities etc.

I'll let you know how it went and what to expect for when you get to see someone.

As for telling people I have had a mixed response. One listened but don't see it or get it, and keeps saying oh that's normal, or I also think that etc. Others have had an argument with me. I was inches away from ERUPTION and he backed down. Took me days to get over it. Family have been supportive, but don't want to go into it as much as me.

I'm not telling anyone until my formal assessment, then I may facebook it out there. See what positive comments I get, and I'll follow on fb. Delete and block the ones I don't like. And start my new life as real me, like I wish I did when I was a kid.

Good luck xx

I'll be very interested to hear about your experience spaceman. My GP told me he doesn't even know any specialists who treat adults! When I pointed out that there was no such thing as autism when I was a child and what did he think had become of the people who might have been diagnosed as children but were now adults......he had no answer??? I now feel like I've wandered into a minefield!

 

[Streetwise]

I'll be very interested to hear about your experience spaceman. My GP told me he doesn't even know any specialists who treat adults! When I pointed out that there was no such thing as autism when I was a child and what did he think had become of the people who might have been diagnosed as children but were now adults......he had no answer??? I now feel like I've wandered into a minefield!

In Tyne and Wear and Northumberland we have an autism diagnosis team,but in the rest of the UK they appear to use psychologists,psychiatrists or speech therapists,if you pay privately there are quite a few psychologists or psychiatrists,who specialise in diagnosis of high functioning autism in children and teenagers,it just seems to be a One for all system so from 0 to 90.
I think the problem is what they look for is very obvious physical traits of autism,so rocking,a lot of stimming,no eye contact not being verbal,it needs to be somebody who is just seeing people who are autistic all day or like somebody who is autistic .
I remember my GP over 17 years ago,saying he had seen three people in 30 years with motor neuron disease,so you can deduce from that your GP probably has no clue about autism .

 

[Fitzo]

Could you possibly travel to Brisbane or afford to ?I know Tony Attwood is a specialist in aspergers and his practice is there or was .

Thank you Streetwise. You're an angel! I just looked him up and he is certainly still there and I could go to Brisbane as it's a 2 or 3 hour drive from where I live. I'll certainly tell the doctor about him as his website specifically says he treats children AND ADULTS with ASPERGERS SYDROME .......which he apparently still calls it!

 

[Fitzo]

In Tyne and Wear and Northumberland we have an autism diagnosis team,but in the rest of the UK they appear to use psychologists,psychiatrists or speech therapists,if you pay privately there are quite a few psychologists or psychiatrists,who specialise in diagnosis of high functioning autism in children and teenagers,it just seems to be a One for all system so from 0 to 90.
I think the problem is what they look for is very obvious physical traits of autism,so rocking,a lot of stimming,no eye contact not being verbal,it needs to be somebody who is just seeing people who are autistic all day or like somebody who is autistic .
I remember my GP over 17 years ago,saying he had seen three people in 30 years with motor neuron disease,so you can deduce from that your GP probably has no clue about autism .

Yes unfortunately I think you are right Streetwise. He was drawing on his VAST 13 years as a doctor! Most of which I think WAS actually in the UK...... he's only come to Australia in the last 2 or 3 years.

 

[Streetwise]

Thank you Streetwise. You're an angel! I just looked him up and he is certainly still there and I could go to Brisbane as it's a 2 or 3 hour drive from where I live. I'll certainly tell the doctor about him as his website specifically says he treats children AND ADULTS with ASPERGERS SYDROME .......which he apparently still calls it!

It's the one thing you learn about high functioning autism,some therapists say both because they don't use the DSM-V and also I think ICD ?which is used in the UK ,they changed the name in the UK because people associated Asperger's syndrome with being a Savant (meaning genius)and wrongly assuming everyone on the autism spectrum at the high end had a wonderful life,that's why the name was also changed in the USA .
In France for instance,there is the same problem,of not diagnosing high functioning autism in women,it is not recognised at all .

 

[Streetwise]

Take school reports with you and if there is anyone alive who knew you as a child ,from two or three years old and could travel with you,ask them to come.
A therapist needs the information that you may not remember .

 

[Fitzo]

Could you possibly travel to Brisbane or afford to ?I know Tony Attwood is a specialist in aspergers and his practice is there or was .

You're not gonna believe this but I just read that there's going to be a documentary TV program about Tony Attwood on the ABC next Monday night! I'll make sure I don't miss that! Thanks once again!

 

[Fitzo]

Take school reports with you and if there is anyone alive who knew you as a child ,from two or three years old and could travel with you,ask them to come.
A therapist needs the information that you may not remember .

Unfortunately I don't still have any school reports and the only person who fits that bill is my mother....and I sure as hell wouldn't take her! I wouldn't even mention any of this to her as I know what her reaction would be. We are not telling her about her grandson either for the same reason!

 

[Streetwise]

Unfortunately I don't still have any school reports and the only person who fits that bill is my mother....and I sure as hell wouldn't take her! I wouldn't even mention any of this to her as I know what her reaction would be. We are not telling her about her grandson either for the same reason!

If you can print off the posts you've made on autism forums and show the therapist what you've printed off .
You may not need them,i'm just telling you,what they told me to take when I was diagnosed, they asked me a lot of questions,for about an hour, then they discussed for about half an hour and told me I was on the autism spectrum.
In the US it can happen for A few hours and over a few days,in the UK it's quicker .

 

[Fitzo]

If you can print off the posts you've made on autism forums and show the therapist what you've printed off .
You may not need them,i'm just telling you,what they told me to take when I was diagnosed, they asked me a lot of questions,for about an hour, then they discussed for about half an hour and told me I was on the autism spectrum.
In the US it can happen for A few hours and over a few days,in the UK it's quicker .

Apparently Tony Attwood is not taking new patients, but I may possibly be able to see another therapist at his clinic. I feel fortunate that at least such a leading specialist is practicing relatively close to me. It may at least give my GP reason to rethink his attitude because Attwood clearly recognizes that women even in their 70's and 80 are being diagnosed. Thanks for all your help. I imagine it will be a while before I actually get to see someone so hopefully I'll be better informed myself by that stage.

 

[spaceman]

Unfortunately I don't still have any school reports and the only person who fits that bill is my mother....and I sure as hell wouldn't take her! I wouldn't even mention any of this to her as I know what her reaction would be. We are not telling her about her grandson either for the same reason!

That's a pitty, I don't get on with my mother well, we're like two atoms that don't bond. But she does remember stuff I don't, things the teacher said after pre school, habits etc.

Maybe you could get doc to send her a questionnaire type of thing? No mention of autism .. (just a bit of info with history for meds) wink wink..

 

[OkRad]

Well I have just come back from my GP visit and I think I'm already getting a taste of what you experienced OkRad. My doctor assured me that it's highly unlikely I have it based on the fact he hasn't previously come across anyone diagnosed as an adult plus he's met me 2 or 3 times before and he would have known!!! PLUS it's not even called Aspergers anymore, it's now called something something Autism, which I don't even remember because I was so busy getting upset about his reaction! I'm now rethinking the whole thing!
He's given me a questionnaire to fill out and take back next time for an assessment to see if I qualify for a health care plan. Judging by the questions on the form I probably won't even qualify because it is very obviously directed at people suffering depression which I wasn't at the moment but am starting to feel now as a result of his attitude! OMG no wonder suicide rates are reaching epidemic proportions.
I now completely understand why others have advised being happy with your own diagnosis

I know. It really hurt me too!!! I got gene testing which helped. Are you disabled? I am odd enough they felt it was warranted and that helped me a lot.

It is so rude thevway they r and then they want us to trust them. Yeah right!

 

[Streetwise]

I know. It really hurt me too!!! I got gene testing which helped. Are you disabled? I am odd enough they felt it was warranted and that helped me a lot.

It is so rude thevway they r and then they want us to trust them. Yeah right!

You want to try having a Spanish GP,if he was any louder he would have a speaker on his head,announcing to another GP that's streetwise ( actually said my real first name )obviously indicating I was different,he couldn't have said it any louder if he tried standing in the corridor .
He showed absolutely no concern,when I said children were throwing things at my house,he actually said to me what did you do !!!!!!!!I never go to see him now .

 

[Streetwise]

Thank you ladybug. I hope I got a good Dr, I don't fancy much what happened to OkRag. I'll try to paste it thick, without embellishing. I'll be true. But tread carefully. My mother is coming with me. She says things I can't remember, I was lawayse like it .. good old mam. But don't get me wrong, very narcissistic, my nemesis. But in this case.. a saint

Are you definitely seeing a GP for your diagnosis? mine wasn't qualified to do that .
Hope it goes well

 

[spaceman]

Are you definitely seeing a GP for your diagnosis? mine wasn't qualified to do that .
Hope it goes well

First of all I had the days wrong. It is actually 'tomorrow'. Not today I start it.

It's not with a gp. It's with a specialist. I'll be aware thank you.

 

[Fitzo]

That's a pitty, I don't get on with my mother well, we're like two atoms that don't bond. But she does remember stuff I don't, things the teacher said after pre school, habits etc.

Maybe you could get doc to send her a questionnaire type of thing? No mention of autism .. (just a bit of info with history for meds) wink wink..

That's a good suggestion spaceman. I would have to come up with a very good story though as she still won't even accept that I have something as innocuous as insomnia......even though I've had it for 47 years! If I say I'm tired because I had NO sleep last night she still asks why! I try not to take sleep meds and only take them when I'm at my wits end........but she gives me grief over that! So I tell her NOTHING. A narcissist only recognises things they've experienced themselves because they have NO empathy. In her mind I don't really even have an identity of my own. Also everything is always about her so if I'm less than perfect.....that must somehow be a reflection on her and she just can't deal with that. Still......it's a good idea if I can somehow convince her it's about her not me! Thinking, thinking............