Hey all,
So I have a graduation ceremony and honor society induction ceremony that I am going to today. It is a much smaller version of the huge, main commencement that is happening one week from today, which I am not attending for obvious reasons. This particular ceremony is for the adult, non-traditional students of the entire class (it's a separate program for us because we require different guidance and advising than the traditional students, but we still take all the same classes and get the exact same choice of majors as everyone else). So the entire senior class is approximately 3,000 students, and my group consists of one to two hundred, I estimate.
This is already really huge to me. Hell if it were just 50 of us I would consider that very large lol I want to go because I want to be involved in some sort of celebration of this occasion, since it took me 17 years to get my degree. That, and I really do like my school and the campus. I especially love this program for us non-traditional students, which has the most amazing, helpful, and caring advisors.
But even though I am still OK about going, I am anxious as hell!! I am wildly and uncontrollably stimming right now as I type and I haven't even left the house yet lol I am taking very deep inhalations and exhaling very loudly, I am rocking back and forth and swaying and cracking knuckles and stretching my fingers out and then rolling them back up to make fists, banging my fingers on my laptop. I am seriously considering taking a few of my mild sedatives.
Anyway, I just want to vent to someone other than my husband, who is trying to remain calm and encouraging but I can tell he is concerned because it isn't very often that I stim like this (I am usually a little milder in my stimming). I am not looking for advice, or to weigh out reasons to go or not go. I do want to go. I guess I also want to just vent to others who actually get it.
Omg, I hope I do not get a meltdown for any reason.
So I have a graduation ceremony and honor society induction ceremony that I am going to today. It is a much smaller version of the huge, main commencement that is happening one week from today, which I am not attending for obvious reasons. This particular ceremony is for the adult, non-traditional students of the entire class (it's a separate program for us because we require different guidance and advising than the traditional students, but we still take all the same classes and get the exact same choice of majors as everyone else). So the entire senior class is approximately 3,000 students, and my group consists of one to two hundred, I estimate.
This is already really huge to me. Hell if it were just 50 of us I would consider that very large lol I want to go because I want to be involved in some sort of celebration of this occasion, since it took me 17 years to get my degree. That, and I really do like my school and the campus. I especially love this program for us non-traditional students, which has the most amazing, helpful, and caring advisors.
But even though I am still OK about going, I am anxious as hell!! I am wildly and uncontrollably stimming right now as I type and I haven't even left the house yet lol I am taking very deep inhalations and exhaling very loudly, I am rocking back and forth and swaying and cracking knuckles and stretching my fingers out and then rolling them back up to make fists, banging my fingers on my laptop. I am seriously considering taking a few of my mild sedatives.
Anyway, I just want to vent to someone other than my husband, who is trying to remain calm and encouraging but I can tell he is concerned because it isn't very often that I stim like this (I am usually a little milder in my stimming). I am not looking for advice, or to weigh out reasons to go or not go. I do want to go. I guess I also want to just vent to others who actually get it.
Omg, I hope I do not get a meltdown for any reason.