Graduation ceremony in an hour. Still at home and stimming wildly...

[Jojo_LB]

Hey all,

So I have a graduation ceremony and honor society induction ceremony that I am going to today. It is a much smaller version of the huge, main commencement that is happening one week from today, which I am not attending for obvious reasons. This particular ceremony is for the adult, non-traditional students of the entire class (it's a separate program for us because we require different guidance and advising than the traditional students, but we still take all the same classes and get the exact same choice of majors as everyone else). So the entire senior class is approximately 3,000 students, and my group consists of one to two hundred, I estimate.

This is already really huge to me. Hell if it were just 50 of us I would consider that very large lol I want to go because I want to be involved in some sort of celebration of this occasion, since it took me 17 years to get my degree. That, and I really do like my school and the campus. I especially love this program for us non-traditional students, which has the most amazing, helpful, and caring advisors.

But even though I am still OK about going, I am anxious as hell!! I am wildly and uncontrollably stimming right now as I type and I haven't even left the house yet lol I am taking very deep inhalations and exhaling very loudly, I am rocking back and forth and swaying and cracking knuckles and stretching my fingers out and then rolling them back up to make fists, banging my fingers on my laptop. I am seriously considering taking a few of my mild sedatives.

Anyway, I just want to vent to someone other than my husband, who is trying to remain calm and encouraging but I can tell he is concerned because it isn't very often that I stim like this (I am usually a little milder in my stimming). I am not looking for advice, or to weigh out reasons to go or not go. I do want to go. I guess I also want to just vent to others who actually get it.

Omg, I hope I do not get a meltdown for any reason.

 

[Tom]

Congratulations! That is a great accomplishment. Such ceremonies however are usually going to be nerve wracking in advance. Most of the time they turn out to not be too hard and sometimes even a bit enjoyable. Hope for the best, go if you can, and remember there is always 'Exit Stage Right' if things start to feel unmanageable.

 

[H-Kath]

Congrats! A lot of hard work went into that. I hope you're able to enjoy the celebration.

 

[Mia]

Congratulations Jojo, you'll be okay. All that work! You deserve recognition. If that's what you want. I never did go to any graduation ceremonies, neither did my husband. Remember him calling the university and requesting that they mail his certificate to him.

 

[Loren]

Indeed, good on you and congratulations! Hoping your stimming subsided and you're enjoying yourself!

 

[LucyPurrs]

Go Jojo! Congratulations!!!

 

[Pinkie B]

How did it go?? Congrats on finishing, too!

 

[Suzanne]

CONGRATULATIONS!

And I was stimming on reading your post lol And I do exactly the same thing, even for very tiny going outs!

If it was one other person even, I would be panicking, especially if I did not feel comfortable with that one person.

I take natural anxiety relievers, which do work wonders; they shave off the high point of the anxiety, so that I can start to think a bit clearer and the only thing that calms the anxiety down, is when the event has finished or cancelled.

 

[Jojo_LB]

Thanks all for the responses and encouragement.

It was nice, and enjoyable for the most part, thank goodness, especially the honor society induction before the main ceremony. A lot of food was served after the ceremony too and it was all quite delicious, so that was great lol

I was experiencing sensory overload though, so some parts of the evening, I definitely had some difficulty and had to resort to some coping methods. First of all, the large main room we were in for an hour and a half had fluorescent lights, which I really dislike. I had to keep my eyes focused downward towards the carpet for a good portion of the time I remained in there. And before the ceremony started, there was an instance of really bad, sudden microphone feedback and I thought my head was going to explode.

Unfortunately I felt sensory shutdown coming on several times during the evening, but thankfully, I had a huge thermos of cold water by me, from which I kept sipping. I also asked my kid and husband to keep texting me amusing things (had phone on lap, it was on vibrate so I could feel it) to get me to stay awake as there were moments my eyes were starting to close and I was leaning forward from the severe, sudden bouts of drowsiness.

But no meltdowns!

 

[Gracey]

Well done

The pre-event thoughts can be much more anxiety inducing than the event itself.
(takes an excellent memory, imagination and many 'what ifs?'

To cope in such a situation is admirable.

Huge congratulations on gaining your degree

 

[GadAbout]

This was a useful thread to anyone with severe anxiety about an important event. I'm glad things worked out for you. Thank you for mentioning your specific coping methods (gazing downward, container of cold water, etc.) because they may help somebody else.

 

[Jojo_LB]

I usually just avoid such events instead of even considering that I could be OK, just to make things much easier on myself. But I don't want to keep avoiding all the time. I won't ever get to do any of the things I like if I get too comfy staying at home just to avoid stuff. I figure it would be fine to avoid sometimes, and try a little harder other times and just have a bunch of coping methods ready when needed.