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Good people ~ does it count?

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
When realisation really hits you that others taken advantage of your good nature, probably perceived as a weakness.
When realise all poor people you help don't count as a social circle.
When you only later on realise you were manipulated and went down that path only to realise your interests weren't included.

Down to last straw, all those who you helped even ones you sure appreciated you, well um, let's put it this way I'm trying to expand my business interests and no one has time of day for me, don't even bother to come talk.

I must be wired all wrong!!!!!!!

Can't get a guy to do what you want, then seems if I have to ask no point us being together cause we not alike.
Men are not friends, also have seemingly better conversation partners called guy friends.
Utter confusion as to what is point of having relationship with guys, not like even help you financially when you battling.
Hopeless in life.
 
Eventually you do adapt to being alone, it's actually better. Next thing 'he' decided he wants to settle down and tries to do all these things and it's just so annoying cause I'm sitting there wishing I could save a wand and make him disappear. Then don't have to get married because my business is taking off, I don't have to ask anyone elses permission and can call up handyman and pay him as opposed to nagging and whining about having skirtings painted a colour that I don't detest.

Maybe in old days it was better to not waste your time as a girl dating because clearly he just wants to use me and leave me wondering. Wondering to point that one day just don't bother to share same interest in jumping up getting excited that for first time it acts like willing commited boyfriend. Maybe daddy just always knew best what we too stupid to understand.

Then give and take, if we shatter fairy tales and raise daughters to be more literally understanding that most men are nothing special, either. So since most not even that intelligent don't put him on pedastil, just realise in old days women were also disappointed but didn't have right to point it out. To make matters worse he's got testosterone (part we probably don't like) so you must serve his interests and don't do to him the same, or else. So don't expect him to act interested in what your interests are. Of better yet, expect him to disappear after getting sex and realise nothing he pretended to listen to was real. So daddy arrange it better so you don't look like a ho asking the unexpected or unacceptable.

And they say women have issues?
It's got to be easier to run my own company, I do know what I'm doing, it's just like ..... Sexist propaganda.
 
I feel sad for your experiences and will not go down the useless "Not All Men" path. I hear ya. My spouse in her first marriage had a husband who would not touch her and instead had affairs (she threw a sewing machine at him when she found out). Consequently she was not in a good place and was taken advantage of by selfish men when she sought to validate her desirability. Happily I came along and liked her values and interests when we had an adventure of a cross country road trip to a trail maintenance project. We have been having adventures for 47 years (46 married). She has been my one and only and I feel very good that while I may not have been her first, I was the last man she desires.
 
Eventually you do adapt to being alone, it's actually better. Next thing 'he' decided he wants to settle down and tries to do all these things and it's just so annoying cause I'm sitting there wishing I could save a wand and make him disappear. Then don't have to get married because my business is taking off, I don't have to ask anyone elses permission and can call up handyman and pay him as opposed to nagging and whining about having skirtings painted a colour that I don't detest.

Maybe in old days it was better to not waste your time as a girl dating because clearly he just wants to use me and leave me wondering. Wondering to point that one day just don't bother to share same interest in jumping up getting excited that for first time it acts like willing commited boyfriend. Maybe daddy just always knew best what we too stupid to understand.

Then give and take, if we shatter fairy tales and raise daughters to be more literally understanding that most men are nothing special, either. So since most not even that intelligent don't put him on pedastil, just realise in old days women were also disappointed but didn't have right to point it out. To make matters worse he's got testosterone (part we probably don't like) so you must serve his interests and don't do to him the same, or else. So don't expect him to act interested in what your interests are. Of better yet, expect him to disappear after getting sex and realise nothing he pretended to listen to was real. So daddy arrange it better so you don't look like a ho asking the unexpected or unacceptable.

And they say women have issues?
It's got to be easier to run my own company, I do know what I'm doing, it's just like ..... Sexist propaganda.
I might be careful with trying to predict how men, or anyone for that matter, might be thinking, especially if you are on the autism spectrum. We are wired up so differently than the majority of people out there. This "mind blindness" thing many of us have leaves us in a bit of a disadvantaged position when dealing with people. For some of us, it creates some anxiety, and or some, social marginalization. As I've suggested in other threads, best not to assume or predict. Get into the habit of asking, because the answers you get are often surprising and highlights how different our brains are. I am often left thinking afterward, "I would have never, in a million years, thought that." It can be a bit unsettling having that realization that you really don't understand most people, and that what you were thinking about them, in some cases, was totally wrong...and they of you. Part of reason for that marginalization we often experience is that they are having a similar experience with us.

We can fall into the intellectual trap of trying to interpret another person's behaviors based upon how our brain operates, a false perspective, and two, many of us have a negative bias in our thinking, leading us down false paths to the worst possible conclusions.

I have dealt with this all my life, but not really understanding why for many years. It has certainly affected my ability to get things done and move up the corporate ladder. I used to think it was strictly a personality issue, but upon further analysis, I realize that my brain just doesn't think like most other people. The things that really irritate and bother them, I don't give any thought to, and vice-versa. The things that motivate them, I don't give any thought to, and vice-versa. I might as well be dealing with an entirely different species of human because most of the time, I just don't understand their motivations and behaviors. When you're trying to get a team to perform at work or embrace a new idea, I have run into so much resistance, and it is repeatable and predictable over the years.

It may be easier to run your own company, if you are the visionary and running it primarily by yourself and not by committee. For example, fellow "Aspie" Elon Musk may be CEO of several multi-billion dollar companies, but what he does is create performance metrics to achieve on a certain timeline, and then gives his team free range to do what is needed to meet those goals. He remains the visionary, but he knows he's autistic, so he doesn't try to control the day-to-day operations. Engineers can engineer at the speed of thought, and if they aren't pushing the envelope of innovation, including failures, they can be fired. A double-edge sword, for it can be a bit of a pressure cooker, but if you're the type of person that loves that environment, not being micromanaged by other departments and managers, and allowed to do your job, that autonomy can be quite satisfying. Steve Jobs (RIP) did the same thing at Apple.

I realize all this only adds to the confusion and perhaps what you thought you knew might be wrong. I'm living it every day. I accept it for what it is and simply try to adapt to what I know, and don't know. I don't try to judge people anymore, not at least until I've known them for a while and they've shown their true colors.
 
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When realisation really hits you that others taken advantage of your good nature, probably perceived as a weakness.
When realise all poor people you help don't count as a social circle.
When you only later on realise you were manipulated and went down that path only to realise your interests weren't included.

Down to last straw, all those who you helped even ones you sure appreciated you, well um, let's put it this way I'm trying to expand my business interests and no one has time of day for me, don't even bother to come talk.

I must be wired all wrong!!!!!!!

Can't get a guy to do what you want, then seems if I have to ask no point us being together cause we not alike.
Men are not friends, also have seemingly better conversation partners called guy friends.
Utter confusion as to what is point of having relationship with guys, not like even help you financially when you battling.
Hopeless in life.

Personally I feel it's risky to make friends with guys because a lot of them have ulterior motives like sex or becoming lovers. Women have their own set of issues too but it's natural to distrust men, better to stick to your own gender for friendship. Is true friendship something that exists? It seems rare to me. I'm not a good person myself but I've noticed that good people get taken advantage of really often
 
You have met the wrong people but you shouldn't generalize. There are lots of good men and good people you haven't met yet. If you decide to remain only with yourself, you will lost the chance to meet good people.
 
I'm now looking back at life, realising how many questions answered by life experience. Realising my mother wasn't much of a guide, but she herself never had one.
Comparing differences in my son's whereas one goes out fishing, and is aware of his surroundings. Trying to give further awareness on job hunting, helping my son catchup homework. He's really anti-social one and not getting out much connects lesser understanding of systems out there.
I find he doesn't seem to appreciate how I picked up his grades from verge of ending up like me, a drop out who realised later on and 10x harder to fix. Suppose that's what parents are for.
Also notice how when met my ex none of his family had smart phones, but this is social that we lend influence from others. I suppose people just human and not appreciative of efforts, I try now to stop acting grateful, apologising and try be tough. I suppose I come across as a doormat.
 

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