fancyjamtime
New Member
Hi. I'm Eric...a 51 year old male, married, 3 kids and have only in the past 2 years started unlocking the secrets to things that have long haunted me. For example...
I have a high IQ, love math especially, read math journals for fun yet never had an "adult" job. I was in the Army and loved it (primarily for the routine) but became disabled. I can't keep a good job because of interactions with superiors (I try to persuade them that my way is best, they disagree, I get frustrated and double down, they drop it, I continue. 'Prove to me that your way is best, and if you can't, it means that you're wrong') I mean, they WANT to be corrected, because who WOULDN'T want to continually improve, RIGHT? (yeah, I know)
My children jokingly refer to me as Spock. I have a sense of humor that people seem to enjoy, but it's often random and bizarre. I've learned to mimic emotional response but don't tend to have my own. I care and love and am moved, but can't appropriately express it without freaking everyone out. Also, it has to be expressed through a logical prism (if that makes sense).
I like obscure music, books and theater. I pursued acting as a means of understanding intention. I can modulate my voice to sound "normal", but it's not MY voice.
Two years ago I read "Look Me in the Eye" on a lark because my wife recommended it. I think that she was telling me something. I had to stop at various points because I was overcome with emotion. THIS is why I feel like an alien. FINALLY things make sense. THIS is why people are amused by me but don't engage with me the way they do with others. THIS is why my ex-wife divorced me. THIS is why my present wife who is emotionally damaged by childhood abuse and is uncomfortable being close to someone chose me.
I was/am angry and elated. It was an epiphany and an emotional death sentence. I am relieved and horrified. I have improved relationships with both my family and my job but no longer feel "different in a good way". I feel like a have a mental illness. Still trying to sort things out.
Thanks for your kindly faked attention.
I have a high IQ, love math especially, read math journals for fun yet never had an "adult" job. I was in the Army and loved it (primarily for the routine) but became disabled. I can't keep a good job because of interactions with superiors (I try to persuade them that my way is best, they disagree, I get frustrated and double down, they drop it, I continue. 'Prove to me that your way is best, and if you can't, it means that you're wrong') I mean, they WANT to be corrected, because who WOULDN'T want to continually improve, RIGHT? (yeah, I know)
My children jokingly refer to me as Spock. I have a sense of humor that people seem to enjoy, but it's often random and bizarre. I've learned to mimic emotional response but don't tend to have my own. I care and love and am moved, but can't appropriately express it without freaking everyone out. Also, it has to be expressed through a logical prism (if that makes sense).
I like obscure music, books and theater. I pursued acting as a means of understanding intention. I can modulate my voice to sound "normal", but it's not MY voice.
Two years ago I read "Look Me in the Eye" on a lark because my wife recommended it. I think that she was telling me something. I had to stop at various points because I was overcome with emotion. THIS is why I feel like an alien. FINALLY things make sense. THIS is why people are amused by me but don't engage with me the way they do with others. THIS is why my ex-wife divorced me. THIS is why my present wife who is emotionally damaged by childhood abuse and is uncomfortable being close to someone chose me.
I was/am angry and elated. It was an epiphany and an emotional death sentence. I am relieved and horrified. I have improved relationships with both my family and my job but no longer feel "different in a good way". I feel like a have a mental illness. Still trying to sort things out.
Thanks for your kindly faked attention.
