Giving up making friends. Giving up finding a girlfriend. Giving up on life.

[Steelbookcollector217]

Tony's problems are real and intractable.

Tony's problems go beyond autism, just had to be harsh, another way to put it, just have to honest, on all he has disclosed about him, since he admits he is prone to having nervous/mental breakdowns in public, and he says destroying property in public, knocking over trashcans, he has mental illnesses.

 

[Jonn]

Tony's problems go beyond autism, just had to be harsh, since he admits he is prone to having nervous/mental breakdowns in public, and he says destroying property in public, knocking over trashcans, he has mental illnesses.

No question he has major emotional problems.
Being on the spectrum doesn't help.
Our E.Q. is not the best when managing emotions.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

yeah, i'm sure it will always be a mystery as to why hasn't autism been bred out of the gene pool through natural selection?

 

[Hypnalis]

yeah, i'm sure it will always be a mystery as to why hasn't autism been bred out of the gene pool through natural selection?

Current knowledge of the genetics of ASD suggest it's complicated. The tech for that continues to improve quickly though, so perhaps we'll learn more in the relatively near future.

FWIW my experience with what you might call "ASD0" (**) people in IT suggests there are some advantages in abstract thinking and logic.
But Aspies who are good at IT are quite likely to choose it as a career (it's accepting, pays well, is easy if you have the talent for it, and it's very difficult to fake competence with social skills) so there's a strong self-selection bias.
I have to be careful about generalizing

 

[Hypnalis]

[We have strayed off topic]
I can't use the spoiler function here because of its limitations, and I can't be bothered to create segments.

I believe the US numbers are different (much larger M/F gap).
I don't use AI though (yet) and CBA searching - maybe you can ask it?

BTW you'd expect big differences between Australia and the US - Australia is much kinder to (most) people at the "economic low-end of society".

 

[Hypnalis]

Do you consider preying on a human being when they are at their weakest and lowest something that is admirable?

Interesting.

I assume you're referring to the predatory behavior of some "Dark Triad" women when they divorce their husbands?

Or is it just another example of taking a similar selection from male behavior (tiny minority, large negative effect on society) and making an "all men are evil" claim?

 

[Jonn]

yeah, i'm sure it will always be a mystery as to why hasn't autism been bred out of the gene pool through natural selection?

I have heard that gene mutations explain some instances of autism.

 

[Jonn]

I assume you're referring to the predatory behavior of some "Dark Triad" women when they divorce their husbands?

Or is it just another example of taking a similar selection from male behavior (tiny minority, large negative effect on society) and making an "all men are evil" claim?

Gerneralisations are in epic proportions these days...

 

[velociraptor]

If a woman screws up everyone rushes in to save her

I was raised by a handicapped (blind) single mom. No one rushed in and saved her, or me for that matter. I spent years wishing someone would, and I think so did she.

i'm sure it will always be a mystery as to why hasn't autism been bred out of the gene pool through natural selection?

We're rather useful in the workplace and I know that my autistic ability to hyper-focus is part of why I earn a respectable wage. That helps with finding a mate to reproduce with.

 

[Hypnalis]

If a woman screws up everyone rushes in to save her

I was raised by a handicapped (blind) single mom. No one rushed in and saved her, or me for that matter. I spent years wishing someone would, and I think so did she.

In the human domain, it's assumed that no generalization covers all cases, and that a single exception does not void a rule.
Not really on point, but memorable: even the proportion of heads to bodies in living humans isn't exactly 1:1.
For most generalizations about people , 80% accuracy is good, and 90% very good.

There's also a real secondary risk with these arguments that some genuine issue that e.g. affects 50% of XY's should be ignored because it also affects 5% of XX's aren't just wrong - IRL this is harmful in many ways.

One important example:
Much of the legislation intended to "make women safe from men" is ineffective, because it assumes that all men cause the specific harm being protected against, and is drafted on that basis.
In fact the vast majority of serious XY on XX crime is caused by a small minority ('Dark Triad", ASPD, etc (**)) who ignore the protective legislation, and continue with their bad behavior unchecked.

The same is true for XX on XY crime of course - the fact that XX's are less inclined to use physical violence doesn't mean they less likely to engage in serious anti-social behavior.

(**)
IIRC the total frequency in the population is low single-digit percent (perhaps 1 or 2%)

 

[Mary Terry]

This looks different when you use the XY/XX splits rather than "assuming" 50/50.
In the same environment:
* What proportion of homeless people are male? (probably around 80%)
* What proportion of alimony/spousal support is paid by men? (probably around 90%)

Is there any state/government funding for things like reducing the male suicide rate (which is almost certain to be several times that of women in your environment).

I'm not sure if your view can be called warped, but it's biased.

IRL this is also a case of "beware what you wish for".
If male enthusiasm for raising children falls as fast as it has for women, which is looking quite likely, the (western) world will start working very differently.

Men strive for the "white picket fence" lifestyle for their kids, not their wives.

Hypnalis - Give it a rest. In the USA, gender is not a factor in divorce and custody cases, other than to the extent it affects the guiding principle of what's "in the best interest of the child".

 

[tree]

REMINDER:

The topic of this thread is OP's feelings of
not being able to connect with other people
and his subsequent methods of attempting
to demonstrate his unhappiness.

Please direct any further replies toward content
that may be of practical use for him in those
regards.

 

[Mary Terry]

well the suicide rate being male dominated speaks volumes.

Apparently, women cope better than men. How is that related to this thread?

 

[Mary Terry]

In the human domain, it's assumed that no generalization covers all cases, and that a single exception does not void a rule.
Not really on point, but memorable: even the proportion of heads to bodies in living humans isn't exactly 1:1.
For most generalizations about people , 80% accuracy is good, and 90% very good.

There's also a real secondary risk with these arguments that some genuine issue that e.g. affects 50% of XY's should be ignored because it also affects 5% of XX's aren't just wrong - IRL this is harmful in many ways.

One important example:
Much of the legislation intended to "make women safe from men" is ineffective, because it assumes that all men cause the specific harm being protected against, and is drafted on that basis.
In fact the vast majority of serious XY on XX crime is caused by a small minority ('Dark Triad", ASPD, etc (**)) who ignore the protective legislation, and continue with their bad behavior unchecked.

The same is true for XX on XY crime of course - the fact that XX's are less inclined to use physical violence doesn't mean they less likely to engage in serious anti-social behavior.

(**)
IIRC the total frequency in the population is low single-digit percent (perhaps 1 or 2%)

How does this help @Tony Ramirez?

 

[honeytoast]

Tony's problems go beyond autism, just had to be harsh, another way to put it, just have to honest, on all he has disclosed about him, since he admits he is prone to having nervous/mental breakdowns in public, and he says destroying property in public, knocking over trashcans, he has mental illnesses.

Honestly, that might be why his friend had blocked him. It was mentioned that she had social anxiety, right? It sucks that it happened, but it's also understandable why she would cut contact.

If you are anxious around people, then being around someone prone to having breakdowns in public might not be the best way to help get over that anxiety. You'd be worried about what they might do if you've witnessed them doing destructive behavior. Not saying Tony would do anything - I'm throwing ideas out here so it might not be what happened, but it could explain a reason why.

 

[Hypnalis]

How does this help @Tony Ramirez?

It's generally considered that victim blaming, either individually or collectively by category, is potentially harmful. The same applies to implying that a real issue doesn't matter because other people have the same issue.

 

[tree]

It's possible Tony really wasn't expecting anything
other than that people would hear that he feels
hopeless.

@Tony Ramirez
I hope you are continuing to consult regularly with your therapist.

 

[Mary Terry]

It's generally considered that victim blaming, either individually or collectively by category, is potentially

That's just word salad. It does not help Tony.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

It's possible Tony really wasn't expecting anything
other than that people would hear that he feels
hopeless.

@Tony Ramirez
I hope you are continuing to consult regularly with your therapist.

She was not feeling well this week.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Honestly, that might be why his friend had blocked him. It was mentioned that she had social anxiety, right? It sucks that it happened, but it's also understandable why she would cut contact.

If you are anxious around people, then being around someone prone to having breakdowns in public might not be the best way to help get over that anxiety. You'd be worried about what they might do if you've witnessed them doing destructive behavior. Not saying Tony would do anything - I'm throwing ideas out here so it might not be what happened, but it could explain a reason why.

I don't believe that. I never meet up with her again IRL. She breadcrumbed me. Also, she came to me, asking me to talk about my problems openly and hers.

There were also two women here which I won't name or link with actual psycho boyfriends that we're dangerous, yet it was okay with them to be in a relationship but for me, I am the victim just because I'm always picked on over here and in real life.