AGXStarseed
Well-Known Member
(Not written by me. This article contains stories from people with a range of disabilities aside from Autism/Aspergers. Due to the article's length, please click the source link at the bottom of the page to read the entire article).
Our Disability Diaries series provoked a huge reaction from readers, many of whom shared their accounts of living with a disability and suggestions for change. Here is a selection of their stories
‘Worst, by far, have been the ghosts’
I’ve just started using a symbol cane (a shorter version of the cane most people associate with blindness) in public. I’m progressively losing my sight due to a congenital nerve disorder, and was tired of bumping into everyone and the understandably irate responses that followed. The cane, I thought, would solve all that. How wrong I was.
Any benefit I’ve received is mitigated by my negative experiences. Some of the worst of these have been with people who try to “test” me. I’ve had people deliberately stand in my way to see if I move around them; one lad tried to run me down with his bike; another started waving his hands in my face to see if I reacted. I’ve also had a fair bit bit of unwanted guidance: people grabbing my arm or touching me without permission in order to steer me. Personally, I find it rather alarming to have a complete stranger manhandling me, no matter how benevolent their intentions.
But the worst, by far, have been the “ghosts” – a polite term for a pretty ghastly phenomenon. I’ll be sat in a cafe, minding my own business, with my cane at my side. A man (so far they’ve all been men, and I have speculated whether this is a new, bizarre form of sexual harassment) will plonk himself, uninvited, at my table without a word, then just sit and stare at me. When I challenge them, they don’t respond; they just shift about in their seats, ignoring me. Every time, there have been empty tables they could have sat at instead.
This has never happened when my cane wasn’t visible, and I now make sure it’s folded away so that I appear “sighted”. I can think of no excuse for this level of intimidation and harassment. It’s massively affected my confidence, and I’m seriously beginning to question whether using the cane is worth the bother. But why should I feel forced to relinquish something that has been so useful in other respects? Daisy Higman
‘Do people assume glamorous women can’t be disabled?’
My friend is blonde, loves fashion and makeup, and drives an adapted car because she is a wheelchair user. It infuriates people when she pulls into the disabled parking areas at supermarkets – until they see her lean across the seats to get her wheelchair out. I have been verbally abused getting into her car after putting her wheelchair in the boot. Do people assume glamorous women can’t be disabled? Carrie St James
‘Two of my peers said I was intolerable’
When I was diagnosed with Asperger’s aged 13, I felt as though a lot of questions had been answered: why I felt and did the things I did; why I kept getting things wrong and making people so angry. During the very difficult years that followed, I was often comforted by the thought that when I was older, I wouldn’t feel so different from people any more.
I also spent a lot of time and energy practising singing, using the focus, nay obsessiveness, that having Asperger’s can give you to improve my voice. Then out of the blue I decided to apply for an MA in musical theatre at a prestigious drama school. I attended an audition and was offered a place after singing one song. To say I was elated is an understatement.
My time at this institution was one of the most challenging of my life. The course was often around 60 hours’ contact time a week, and physically and emotionally draining. I missed quite a lot of contact time and was late many times – and I accept that, for other people on a course or in a workplace environment, that is very frustrating. But the contempt shown to me by many of my peers on that course was tantamount to emotional bullying.
People with Asperger syndrome are typified as being less socially and emotionally in tune than neuro-typical people. However my experience, which recent research by Henry and Kamila Markram from the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology identifies with, is that it’s actually an acute social hypersensitivity coupled with an overwhelming fear response that people with Asperger’s deal with.
I could sense what my course-mates all thought about me – that I wasn’t like them; that I didn’t follow some kind of actors’ code I was intrinsically meant to have written into my DNA, and therefore wasn’t worth acknowledging. If I spoke or tried to offer a suggestion, it was either ignored or someone would just talk over me.
In the final term, two of my peers openly told me they thought I was intolerable, despite me trying to explain in even more detail the issues I was facing. I have never expected people to understand or empathise with me or my condition. I just hoped for people to not be outwardly hostile to me because I’m different to them – especially not fellow actors. Anonymous
Full Article: From sexual harassment to hostile colleagues: readers' experiences of life with a disability
Our Disability Diaries series provoked a huge reaction from readers, many of whom shared their accounts of living with a disability and suggestions for change. Here is a selection of their stories
‘Worst, by far, have been the ghosts’
I’ve just started using a symbol cane (a shorter version of the cane most people associate with blindness) in public. I’m progressively losing my sight due to a congenital nerve disorder, and was tired of bumping into everyone and the understandably irate responses that followed. The cane, I thought, would solve all that. How wrong I was.
Any benefit I’ve received is mitigated by my negative experiences. Some of the worst of these have been with people who try to “test” me. I’ve had people deliberately stand in my way to see if I move around them; one lad tried to run me down with his bike; another started waving his hands in my face to see if I reacted. I’ve also had a fair bit bit of unwanted guidance: people grabbing my arm or touching me without permission in order to steer me. Personally, I find it rather alarming to have a complete stranger manhandling me, no matter how benevolent their intentions.
But the worst, by far, have been the “ghosts” – a polite term for a pretty ghastly phenomenon. I’ll be sat in a cafe, minding my own business, with my cane at my side. A man (so far they’ve all been men, and I have speculated whether this is a new, bizarre form of sexual harassment) will plonk himself, uninvited, at my table without a word, then just sit and stare at me. When I challenge them, they don’t respond; they just shift about in their seats, ignoring me. Every time, there have been empty tables they could have sat at instead.
This has never happened when my cane wasn’t visible, and I now make sure it’s folded away so that I appear “sighted”. I can think of no excuse for this level of intimidation and harassment. It’s massively affected my confidence, and I’m seriously beginning to question whether using the cane is worth the bother. But why should I feel forced to relinquish something that has been so useful in other respects? Daisy Higman
‘Do people assume glamorous women can’t be disabled?’
My friend is blonde, loves fashion and makeup, and drives an adapted car because she is a wheelchair user. It infuriates people when she pulls into the disabled parking areas at supermarkets – until they see her lean across the seats to get her wheelchair out. I have been verbally abused getting into her car after putting her wheelchair in the boot. Do people assume glamorous women can’t be disabled? Carrie St James
‘Two of my peers said I was intolerable’
When I was diagnosed with Asperger’s aged 13, I felt as though a lot of questions had been answered: why I felt and did the things I did; why I kept getting things wrong and making people so angry. During the very difficult years that followed, I was often comforted by the thought that when I was older, I wouldn’t feel so different from people any more.
I also spent a lot of time and energy practising singing, using the focus, nay obsessiveness, that having Asperger’s can give you to improve my voice. Then out of the blue I decided to apply for an MA in musical theatre at a prestigious drama school. I attended an audition and was offered a place after singing one song. To say I was elated is an understatement.
My time at this institution was one of the most challenging of my life. The course was often around 60 hours’ contact time a week, and physically and emotionally draining. I missed quite a lot of contact time and was late many times – and I accept that, for other people on a course or in a workplace environment, that is very frustrating. But the contempt shown to me by many of my peers on that course was tantamount to emotional bullying.
People with Asperger syndrome are typified as being less socially and emotionally in tune than neuro-typical people. However my experience, which recent research by Henry and Kamila Markram from the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology identifies with, is that it’s actually an acute social hypersensitivity coupled with an overwhelming fear response that people with Asperger’s deal with.
I could sense what my course-mates all thought about me – that I wasn’t like them; that I didn’t follow some kind of actors’ code I was intrinsically meant to have written into my DNA, and therefore wasn’t worth acknowledging. If I spoke or tried to offer a suggestion, it was either ignored or someone would just talk over me.
In the final term, two of my peers openly told me they thought I was intolerable, despite me trying to explain in even more detail the issues I was facing. I have never expected people to understand or empathise with me or my condition. I just hoped for people to not be outwardly hostile to me because I’m different to them – especially not fellow actors. Anonymous
Full Article: From sexual harassment to hostile colleagues: readers' experiences of life with a disability
