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Friendships not working out?

I've had a lot of friendships like that. It was hard to give up on people, but I didn't stick around.
Now I'm much better at finding people that I have genuine connections with, and similar interests, but also similar personalities and values.
Even if you only make a few friends, it's better to have a few close friends than a bunch of sub-par ones, or ones that treat you like crap.
 
Through college and grad school, I really had no lasting friendships. Then, with my first employment in basic research I slowly made some friends, usually based on common interests and activities. But to do that I had to sorta put myself back together, develop my agency, and decide to like myself. It was made a little easier with some success in my research. Along the way I encountered users, those I shared skills and experience with but who never reciprocated when it counted and I dropped them. Then I met my spouse and our ethics ad outlooks were compatible, and better yet, we both enjoyed active outdoor activities from backpacking to whitewater open canoe.

@Atrapa Almas has it right! Similar values and ethics makes for lasting friendships. (added) I have friends of 40 years, and our values are similar. We have entrusted each other with our lives, running safety in some big rapids.
 
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Sometimes you end up being a life lesson for a lot of men. The other option, don't date. Sometimes you learn the life lesson. It's great when both mature and grow apart and together. It really seems you could just bet on a card game at the rate of relationships hiccups.
 
Common ground and like interests are a good building block. A true test? How comfortable are they around unstructured time hanging out? Do they need constant interaction or are they at ease with your silence and theirs?
 
Unless you are in the type of relationship where you two are constantly doing things together, have common interests, are in nearly daily contact,...it's quite challenging.

For me:
1. Most people are out of sight, out of mind
2. I can't just come up with small talk
3. It takes a concerted amount of mental energy to have any sort of conversation
4. Most people are not interested in my special interests,...and I'm not interested in their social life

The list goes on and on, but those are the main things that typically prevent me from being a friend.
 
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