Freezing-up when socializing?

[Greatshield17]

I've both experienced, and heard of other Aspies, freezing up when in a socially foreign situation. How common is that?

A few days ago, I was talking with my girlfriend on Zoom, and I wanted to open up and be more confident with her but I ended up being more timid in my conversation with her. (Though not as timid as I was in our previous conversation.) I want to be more open and confident in my chat with her today, but I'm concerned it won't go as planned. (though hopefully it will be better) Does anyone have any advice on how to overcome this?

 

[Bro'Freak]

Try not to pre-empt too much on the possibilities or outcomes. Just go be yourself & let it happen. You have the answers already, no point in lining them up to be ready at any moment. If it's regarding needing to talk about deep stuff then try not to force the moment. I used to suffer freezing up, though for myself I realised I was thinking too deeply & missing moments which became eons.

 

[Aspychata]

Sometimes l just say l feel nervous right now and sometimes that lightens your load. Or l crack a stupid joke to make us both laugh because then more honest communication can follow after talking about something trival. Open up with a sincere compliment. Start out with an interesting current event topic. Good luck. l actually become tongue-tied which is a shade more obnoxious then nervous.

 

[menander]

I agree with @Aspychata Sometimes to just say something like "This is not coming out like I want it to
..." etc....But of course, I can't do it too well all the time either!

 

[Hylian]

I usually do what other people have mentioned, and either make a joke or try to talk a bit about a related topic I know more about, as it helps me get over being nervous and gives me time to collect my thoughts. I do often freeze up and can't force myself to talk though, so I don't know what to do for that...

 

[Au Naturel]

I tend to vapor lock when the discussion has high emotional content. All thought leaves my brain and it is empty. Tried to explain this to my wife who insisted I was intentionally stonewalling and refusing to talk out of stubbornness.

I realize that if I were to talk to her and she stayed silent, that really would be why she'd be doing it, glaring and getting angrier every second. Except I don't glare and there's no anger in the vacuum of my head.

 

[Greatshield17]

I've both experienced, and heard of other Aspies, freezing up when in a socially foreign situation. How common is that?

A few days ago, I was talking with my girlfriend on Zoom, and I wanted to open up and be more confident with her but I ended up being more timid in my conversation with her. (Though not as timid as I was in our previous conversation.) I want to be more open and confident in my chat with her today, but I'm concerned it won't go as planned. (though hopefully it will be better) Does anyone have any advice on how to overcome this?

Do think perhaps we can form like a Zoom club or something, and practice our social skills that way?