chinaberry
Well-Known Member
I cause a scene most mealtimes because my parents' chewing makes me so mad I can't stand it. It just grates on my nerves, I bang the table with my hand when I can't bear it anymore, my parents get upset, and they tell me I should 'train myself' to ignore it. I tell them I can't. This sort of thing has been going on since I was little. It's easy to say, "well, just tune it out!" or "be hard on yourself and soft on others and just make an effort!", but it's just like a big wave of almost anger building up inside me. It puts me in such a bad mood and when they stop eating for a second, everything becomes much better! I often stim to take my mind off annoying sounds like that, but it doesn't help that much.
My dad says that when I was little I always wanted my food separated, and I have a memory of when I was three, I was painstakingly separating all the food out on my plate and then sorting it into two 'camps'- to eat or not to eat.
I tend to like foods based on texture, not taste. For example, I only hate liver because of the texture. The taste I can handle. I haven't eaten a packed lunch at school since I was about six, in primary and secondary school I would just throw my sandwich away. I told my parents that I was never hungry at lunch, so instead of a big packup like everyone else had, they'd just give me the bare essentials of a sandwich and apple and I couldn't eat the apple before the sandwich, so I was stuck. I hated those awful sandwiches. Textures again. Soggy or stale bread, margerine, then the hard edge of the cheese. Once or twice my parents found out that I was throwing them away (on the way back from school once I threw it in someone's front garden, and there was a woman and a dog in there who saw the whole thing, and told my mum) and all hell broke out, and I could understand. They thought I had an ED. Which eight year old never eats lunch?
Also lunch at school is bad because I find it hard to eat in front of people. It feels like my jaw physically locks sometimes, but otherwise I take such a while to eat a little thing because I hate having food stuck in my mouth. I see eating as a private thing. Otherwise I don't know why I find it so hard. Last week the teacher gave round mini lollies in class, I took one, I thought I'd be able to manage a tiny lolly, but once it was in, I couldn't get it out. I couldn't get my mouth to open. It was the weirdest thing. For the entire lesson I sat with my mouth clamped shut and escaped first and once into the hallway, suddenly it was fine. That sort of thing happens quite a bit.
I wouldn't say I'm enormously fussy an eater, I'll eat foods I don't particularly like the taste of, but the texture thing is a no go area. I do like bland flavours best though.
My dad says that when I was little I always wanted my food separated, and I have a memory of when I was three, I was painstakingly separating all the food out on my plate and then sorting it into two 'camps'- to eat or not to eat.
I tend to like foods based on texture, not taste. For example, I only hate liver because of the texture. The taste I can handle. I haven't eaten a packed lunch at school since I was about six, in primary and secondary school I would just throw my sandwich away. I told my parents that I was never hungry at lunch, so instead of a big packup like everyone else had, they'd just give me the bare essentials of a sandwich and apple and I couldn't eat the apple before the sandwich, so I was stuck. I hated those awful sandwiches. Textures again. Soggy or stale bread, margerine, then the hard edge of the cheese. Once or twice my parents found out that I was throwing them away (on the way back from school once I threw it in someone's front garden, and there was a woman and a dog in there who saw the whole thing, and told my mum) and all hell broke out, and I could understand. They thought I had an ED. Which eight year old never eats lunch?
Also lunch at school is bad because I find it hard to eat in front of people. It feels like my jaw physically locks sometimes, but otherwise I take such a while to eat a little thing because I hate having food stuck in my mouth. I see eating as a private thing. Otherwise I don't know why I find it so hard. Last week the teacher gave round mini lollies in class, I took one, I thought I'd be able to manage a tiny lolly, but once it was in, I couldn't get it out. I couldn't get my mouth to open. It was the weirdest thing. For the entire lesson I sat with my mouth clamped shut and escaped first and once into the hallway, suddenly it was fine. That sort of thing happens quite a bit.
I wouldn't say I'm enormously fussy an eater, I'll eat foods I don't particularly like the taste of, but the texture thing is a no go area. I do like bland flavours best though.
