I will start by responding to your last post. Gavin has epilepsy and ADHD. I am always there to pick him up when he has fits, and peel him off the ceiling when he gets hyper! We work well as a team, although I do most of the work around the house (laundry, dishes, making up the beds etc) he takes me to my appointments and things. We love to just sit together and watch movies, but conversationally we do lack a little bit. He talks a lot, and I listen, but some of the time I don't understand what he's saying, I'll always pay attention to him, unless I'm watching a video. This is another problem. He thinks I'm ignorant when I don't hear him when I have my headphones in watching a film on my computer, but I'm not ignoring him, I just can't hear him! We do tend to have some good talks about things, and we laugh and we're very close, but I actually prefer to just snuggle with him and watch TV. If I have an issue with him, we'll talk it through as best we can, but we both tend to get a case of foot-in-mouth disease and say the wrong things. It's small niggly things that get to me, and maybe its me that needs to work on that, not him,
As for the age thing, a lot of people have mentioned the age gap, and many people think it a bit different, but they see us as a couple, and it isn't a problem. I admit, my family were very very apprehensive at first, but once they saw that we were a good couple, they approved. It was a very quick engagement in all honesty, only 2 months into the relationship (we were good friends for a couple of years before we became a couple), which caused some disputes with my family, but again, once they saw I was happy, they're OK with it. I do understand where you're coming from though, from a stranger's perspective, it's far easier to see the potential problems within a relationship. As for my mother, we're still not sure if she's Neurotypical, we think there may be some autistic tendencies as well as some nasty psychosis in there somewhere, or else she just doesn't like me lol.
I can see that Gavin would be worried about our future together, he cares about me a great deal, he worries too much about me sometimes I think, like I recently found out I have a very small cyst on my brain, and he's now terrified. The doctors tell me it's pretty much harmless, but I'm not sure whether he's worried about having to care for me if I had to have surgery, or just me being hurt. I know that my meltdowns upset him, I had a particularly bad one due to a friend of mine getting sick (I have a bad phobia of all things sicky) and although he held onto me, hugged me tight and calmed me down, I could tell he was shaken by it. This worries me, because he's worrying about me over everything that goes off in my brain, my seizures, my meltdowns, and I'm really scared that one day he's just going to say "I love you but I can't deal with the worry any more" and leave.
We always have to be careful when we go out places. I only go to two different bars in my town, and when there's a live band on at one of them, although I enjoy it, it can get extremely crowded, at which point I either stand outside where I feel safer, or I hold Gavin's hand and I feel better. I'm blessed to have a little group of friends who all know about my Asperger's, and accept me for all my problems, they know exactly how to deal with my meltdowns and panic attacks and I never go out without at least one of them with me, except to the shop.
I've tried to answer your post to the best of my ability and knowledge, thank you for being there for me at this time, it's really helping me see what's possibly going on, and maybe how I can resolve it