Extremely Good Person

[savi83]

Hi everybody,

I was recently told that I'm not just a good person but extremely good person and mentioned a situation where I held onto some rubbish for a while until I was able to find a bin rather than just get tired after a couple of seconds and litter.

When it comes to bending the truth it makes me feel ill and I have to put the record straight, no matter how trivial.

I was accused of damaging some equipment and the thought of them thinking that I could do such a thing made me feel physically sick. When they realised that I didn't damage it I never got an apology which really frustrated me.

I've sort of detoured from where I was going, but basically has anyone been accused of being too good/nice? Is it an aspie trait??

 

[clg114]

I have read that most (not all) Aspies have a inborn sense of principles. I seem to be like that even though I never have made a conscious decision to be that way. It is just another one of my Aspie ways.

 

[savi83]

I think I must have a big short-circuit, LOL. I don't know what it is; if I hold back any information I feel that I need to get it off my chest.

Thank you

 

[Sportster]

I have read that most (not all) Aspies have a inborn sense of principles. I seem to be like that even though I never have made a conscious decision to be that way. It is just another one of my Aspie ways.

I like that, ". . . inborn sense of principles." It's almost like our DNA has a built in creed or something. I'm not saying I can't lie or have never lied, but I don't have a familiarity with it or can do it with ease.

My mother and paternal grandmother were just the opposite. They both lied just for the sake of lying. I could never understand how they could do it with such ease. I've since come to realize, after all these years, that they were both Narcissists; my grandmother was even worse than my mother. If you're familiar with "Little House on the Prairie," imagine Mrs. Olsen, but only much, much worse.

I think I must have a big short-circuit, LOL. I don't know what it is; if I hold back any information I feel that I need to get it off my chest.

Thank you

I know what you mean. It has taken me many years of self-discipline to compartmentalize stuff that I feel should be shared.

 

[garnetflower13]

I have experienced several occasions where someone has come up to me and prefaced a statement with the phrase "I know that you Aspies never lie, so blah blah blah.." and I have been dumbfounded because who am I, Superman or something?Having said that, I have also been falsely accused and it made me nauseous and upset for weeks, months, even years. I believe it is the experience of a cognitive dissonance that causes this reaction. And those times where I felt I must bend the truth, it didn't sit well with me at all, same reason.

 

[Cali Cat]

I had to learn that honesty is not always the best policy, and that just because something happens to be true, it doesn't need to be pointed out in all cases.

I have to weigh whether my honesty will be helpful or simply hurtful before I say anything.

 

[FreeDiver]

I had to learn that honesty is not always the best policy, and that just because something happens to be true, it doesn't need to be pointed out in all cases.

I have to weigh whether my honesty will be helpful or simply hurtful before I say anything.

YA! One of the biggest things that makes being an aspie so difficult.

 

[Loomis]

There is a psychologist, Simon Baron Cohen, who studies autism. He wrote a book:
The Science of Evil: On Empathy and the Origins of Cruelty.

In the book he compares the lack of empathy in psychopaths with the lack of empathy in people with autism. He says that psychopaths lack a conscience and restraints on their behavior while autistics have an inborn sense of what is right and wrong. He labels psychopaths as zero-minus and autistics as zero-plus personalities. I am convinced he is spot-on.

 

[Warmheart]

A strong sense of justice is often an ASD feature. The trick is very carefully considering wether information could hurt or upset another, or if giving such info could put you in danger.

It is possible to lose one's safety, home, job, and friends by mindlessly saying "the truth as we see it."
Not that this is right, but that some people are defensive of their secrets and will unleash repercussions if you expose those secrets, or call them on their crap, or state something which goes against what psychology calls "the writing on their wall." (These are the lies we all tell ourselves)

In practice, as a socially clueless autistic, I cannot possibly know when I am going to say or expose something which will enfuriate someone who is defensive and psychologically unstable. I need to choose my friends wisely.

I think it's about doing the best we can to balance honesty with kindness, surrounding ourselves with people who are stable psychologically, and just accepting we may never be able to fully intuit the "unwritten rules."

 

[Suzanne]

I think that it is relative, so in your case, if most people are harsh and cold etc etc, you will stand out as a highly good person, whereas if another is living in an area where the majority are decent, it will not stand out.

I have been told I am a kind person ( sorry not sure how to unslant the words). Like yourself, I will hold litter in my hand, until I find a bin or walk a long way to get to the bin!

I prefer to tell the truth.

Yes, yes and yes, that is very much me; being accused of something and knowing I would never do that or calling me names, causes terrible distress! I would never call another bad names and always want to be a person who someone can count on or be of help, so the idea of being in the way etc, is obhorrant to me.

I have a friend who is an nt, but her attitude is one that gives a good plus to nts. She went out of her way for me in such a way, that still has shocked me, but she has requested that I do not keep telling people, but I find it hard not to, because she deserves to have a bit of praise and thus, it has been decided I do not drop names! Basically, she sat in the dr's waiting room in my behalf and text me to tell me that one person was left in front of me and so I can come in! She took me to the hospital too and was just so splendid that I will always be very grateful to her.