Employment

[EmmaJC]

Currently having issues with my employers. I'm a teacher with HFA (Aspergers) - this is just what was given to me after my assessment, really not sure which is the correct terminology now.

My employers keep changing things on me last minute and I'm finding my behaviour is becoming more and more unacceptable when this happens. I have some quite spectacular meltdowns that are usually confined to a toilet but often I find myself in situations where I'm forced to have to respond now my level of responsibility has changed.

I'm worried my behaviour will lose my my job and I really have worked so hard to get there.

Anyone else have these problems or any advice? Thanks in advance

 

[Dominic]

Have you disclosed your diagnosis with your employers? If you feel comfortable revealing the diagnosis you should tell them of the implications it has on your inability to handle sudden change, you could ask for them to give you more time to adjust.

 

[EmmaJC]

Yeah they're fully aware - that's what's so frustrating. They will obviously compromise in ways for me that I'm not even aware of and other than this one issue they're amazing employers. It's so upsetting because the school feels like my home and I love my job. I just can't keep having such frequent meltdowns, I'm exhausted.

 

[Dominic]

Are they aware of your meltdowns? I would find it difficult to believe that an employer would want an employee going through this. Thats surely not in the best interests of either of you.

I am similar to you in the fact that I find it really difficult to adjust to sudden change and from one day to the next I do not know where I will be or what I will be doing with regards my work and for somebody who likes to adhere to routine I found this unbearable at times. I coped by building the expectation of having my daily routine disturbed into my daily work routine so it became the norm for me and now it's kind of manageable. It hhad to be.

Your in a tricky situation if your employers don't want to accomodate your needs though. If they don't... could you get yourteachers union involved?

 

[EmmaJC]

I was really hoping that it wouldn't come to it but the school wellbeing officer has suggested in the past that we get some advice from the equalities officer, someone who can basically tell the school of any deficits I might have and how to accommodate them.

I was diagnosed just over a year ago and after spending so long pretending everything is ok I just fall back into it during stressful times...I still feel quite a bit of shame about my meltdowns so haven't really brought them to the attention of the senior leaders. I think they are probably aware of when I'm not having a good day, but beyond that I'd be surprised if they knew how distressed I've been at times.

 

[Dominic]

I would be careful though if your not on great terms with your employers as I wouldn't want them percieving your meltdowns as a barrier to you being able to properly perform your duties. The meltdowns would clearly not happen if the triggers are adressed.

I once didn't have my contract renewed by a company after disclosing some of my issues when things started getting too much. This despite just getting a 10% raise and a recommendation for delivering exemplary work on my previous review. I'm sure nothing like this will happen in your case though...

Do you have access to a post diagnosis councillor? They might be able to offer advice and coping strategies on how to deal with the stress of having to make sudden adjustments.

 

[Abe1]

I was really hoping that it wouldn't come to it but the school wellbeing officer has suggested in the past that we get some advice from the equalities officer, someone who can basically tell the school of any deficits I might have and how to accommodate them.

I was diagnosed just over a year ago and after spending so long pretending everything is ok I just fall back into it during stressful times...I still feel quite a bit of shame about my meltdowns so haven't really brought them to the attention of the senior leaders. I think they are probably aware of when I'm not having a good day, but beyond that I'd be surprised if they knew how distressed I've been at times.

I think I know what you are going through at least to a certain extent.

It is important for you to know when things are building up and for you to allow yourself an escape route, so that any meltdowns you have are also from other people. Already now doing it in the toilet is better than in front of other people.

Try to find ways of releasing the anger you build up tension in a less destructive way, maybe stress balls, and squash type balls you could try to crush or squeeze or perhaps write down your anger in a notebook using as many bad words as you like. Anything to get the frustration out of you in a better way. Better to release the tension slowly then let it blow, if you are anything like me.

Try also to find time for yourself during the day, to recharge your batteries.

Hopefully this in itself in time should ease the pressure.

Try to get some reasonable allowances from work, and wherever possible that you are aware of what you are doing with as little as possible sudden changes.

Apologies if these sound simple suggestions as these are horrible to go through and not easy in any way. I have been at work this week and people have made me want to scream “Shut up” due to noise, other times I have felt so lonely I want to cry, Again I don’t think people know how bad and lonely things can be.

It sounds you are doing a great job, I could never be a teacher.

 

[ChurchTheArtist]

Hi EmmaJC. I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with this. I too was a teacher and found that the constant changes in routine could really mess with my "creature of habit" qualities. What age range do you teach? Are you in a public or private school? I taught college and a little elementary.

I agree that one must take caution on the more drastic moves involving legalities. We don't want you to lose your job or make things worse. While I don't know any details of your problem I will advise you to keep this in mind: You should strive to be invaluable to the school, not just valuable. If your problems bring you from valuable to problematic or liability, you will lose your job no matter what disability you have. There are ways around it but understand that you must separate two basic factors: 1) What you can change about yourself and 2) What you can push for the world to change around you.

Again, I've been a teacher. You'd be surprised how much an aspie can learn to adapt with new techniques of self-training to make the job work in your favor. I see that you have been diagnosed only recently. That in and of itself is a difficult struggle for an adult and comes with it's own challenges.

Do you feel like sharing the specific problems you are struggling with? Personally, I wouldn't advise pushing the world to accept how you are. I think, with help, we can figure out ways for you to work around each problem and/or cope in different ways. That way you aren't becoming a problem for your superiors, you are becoming invaluable.

I myself became invaluable when my tricks of coping ended up improving the students and school as well as my struggle. They saw the way I fought to adapt and then change how I tackled problems. They ended up having me train other teachers in tackling these problems my way. My boss, bless her heart, often complemented me on being the most organized teacher they had with many tricks and ideas to help the teaching process go smoothly. Why don't we work on developing those tricks to help you work with your new diagnosis?

 

[marcadam]

I really struggle too, particularly at work. I construct a scaffolding for dealing with interactions and for a while I might think yeah this is nice and secure and then all of a sudden something will happen and it all comes crashing down; rebuilding that scaffolding is getting harder the older I get. This is most apparent at work, I'm convinced my boss thinks I'm difficult and awkward on purpose, and quite often he interacts with me in a way that I can only describe as bullying and I constantly get ignored and then moaned at for not speaking up. One of the most frustrating things is when the goal posts get moved and I get criticised for handling a situation in the same way he has in the past.

I am currently undiagnosed but I'm pretty sure I have AS, I'm in the process of asking my doctor for a test.

 

[ChurchTheArtist]

I really struggle too, particularly at work. I construct a scaffolding for dealing with interactions and for a while I might think yeah this is nice and secure and then all of a sudden something will happen and it all comes crashing down; rebuilding that scaffolding is getting harder the older I get. This is most apparent at work, I'm convinced my boss thinks I'm difficult and awkward on purpose, and quite often he interacts with me in a way that I can only describe as bullying and I constantly get ignored and then moaned at for not speaking up. One of the most frustrating things is when the goal posts get moved and I get criticised for handling a situation in the same way he has in the past.

I am currently undiagnosed but I'm pretty sure I have AS, I'm in the process of asking my doctor for a test.

What do you do for a living?

 

[Judge]

Currently having issues with my employers. I'm a teacher with HFA (Aspergers) - this is just what was given to me after my assessment, really not sure which is the correct terminology now.

My employers keep changing things on me last minute and I'm finding my behaviour is becoming more and more unacceptable when this happens. I have some quite spectacular meltdowns that are usually confined to a toilet but often I find myself in situations where I'm forced to have to respond now my level of responsibility has changed.

I'm worried my behaviour will lose my my job and I really have worked so hard to get there.

Anyone else have these problems or any advice? Thanks in advance

I'm inclined to think that highly dynamic work environments of much of any kind are the "kiss of death" for most Aspies. Something I struggled with for nearly twenty years in one job alone. I finally quit and changed careers. It was a good decision, although it was still another 14 years later that I began to suspect that I was on the spectrum.

Just don't take two decades to surmise it's the wrong job for you....no matter how much you already invested in it.

 

[clg114]

For me, working alone was the key to a successful working career. This not possible for a educator. I agree with Judge, do not spend a big chunk of your life doing something that is not right for you. Being a teacher is a honorable career, but it is not for everyone.

 

[ChurchTheArtist]

I do agree with you guys. Teaching is not easy for an aspie. We do work best alone. This is all true.

But I can also understand how being a teacher long enough... it becomes a part of you. It's different for everyone, surely. But even if one quits a teaching job, they never quit being a teacher. If this were any other career we were talking about, I'd simply agree that it should be considered a bad fit. But, I can't explain it... you aren't a teacher because it fits your personality or because the money is good (because it's not). You become a teacher because it's a calling. Many respect it as a noble career, yes, but it goes deeper than that sometimes.

That's why I will agree with you guys logically about deeming this a bad career however, I will counter that logic with saying that none of us know enough about the OP's specific situation to say that definitely. It is advisable, yes, but I will offer my support on the other end saying that there is good reason to stay and make it work.

It's up to the OP for their specific belief and "feeling" for the job. If it's just a job to you- it's probably just a bad fit and you shouldn't push so hard. If you feel a deeper calling towards teaching, so much that it would pain you just as much to leave, then maybe you can work hard to adapt. Again, going back to my previous posts.

Just playing both sides to keep the discussion fair and well-rounded.

 

[clg114]

I do agree with you guys. Teaching is not easy for an aspie. We do work best alone. This is all true.

But I can also understand how being a teacher long enough... it becomes a part of you. It's different for everyone, surely. But even if one quits a teaching job, they never quit being a teacher. If this were any other career we were talking about, I'd simply agree that it should be considered a bad fit. But, I can't explain it... you aren't a teacher because it fits your personality or because the money is good (because it's not). You become a teacher because it's a calling. Many respect it as a noble career, yes, but it goes deeper than that sometimes.

That's why I will agree with you guys logically about deeming this a bad career however, I will counter that logic with saying that none of us know enough about the OP's specific situation to say that definitely. It is advisable, yes, but I will offer my support on the other end saying that there is good reason to stay and make it work.

It's up to the OP for their specific belief and "feeling" for the job. If it's just a job to you- it's probably just a bad fit and you shouldn't push so hard. If you feel a deeper calling towards teaching, so much that it would pain you just as much to leave, then maybe you can work hard to adapt. Again, going back to my previous posts.

Just playing both sides to keep the discussion fair and well-rounded.

I have always admired educators and felt that teachers must really, really want to teach. You are right in this case because teaching is not just another job, it is special.

 

[Miker]

Currently having issues with my employers. I'm a teacher with HFA (Aspergers) - this is just what was given to me after my assessment, really not sure which is the correct terminology now.

My employers keep changing things on me last minute and I'm finding my behaviour is becoming more and more unacceptable when this happens. I have some quite spectacular meltdowns that are usually confined to a toilet but often I find myself in situations where I'm forced to have to respond now my level of responsibility has changed.

I'm worried my behaviour will lose my my job and I really have worked so hard to get there.

Anyone else have these problems or any advice? Thanks in advance

Hi,
I can relate although I have never been in teaching and I don't think I ever could be as my communication skills would let me down.

I wonder if us Aspies are "flogging a dead horse" by trying to adapt to a non Aspie friendly job!

Here is a thought, 1% of the population of the UK is thought to be autistic. If that is true worldwide then that could be hundreds of millions of people in jobs that are bad for their health due to stress!

Maybe we could set up a world body to give autistic people a voice and some influence in terms of employment opportunities!

 

[marcadam]

What do you do for a living?

I'm a manager for a domiciliary care agency, there's always a million and one things that need doing and not enough time or resources to do them. I seriously wish I had chosen to pursue my interest in IT when I was a teenager, at this moment in time working from home with very little human interaction sounds like a dream job.

 

[wanderer03]

I'm going to try out driving a bus. I got hired by Krapf Bus Company and they have a transit division that is very routine and regular.

While I still need to interact with people, my attentions will mostly be on safe driving or so I think.

VocRehab wanted me to give it a shot so I will.