Eating ( or not)

[Ylva]

Are you sure? Falafels and lots of crackers taste like carpet.

 

[Spiller]

I like to try different cuisines at restaurants, but when I cook for myself and throughout my life, I fixate on one meal; I've been eating pasta & veg every night for nearly a year now.. when I was a kid, weetabix and jam sanwiches. Nothing else! My folks always gave me Complan, a liquid diet supplement, tastes like milkshake; I loved it!
Interesting though, I've always had an intense craving for milk, can't live without it now.
My son will only eat pizza or meatballs; I put a little pasta on the plate and he may have one or two pieces, that's all. Except McDonalds.. usually cant go wrong there..

 

[Kari Suttle]

As a child i ate fine but didn't eat enough to get plenty of nutrients/etc so i was on pediasure for a while. Its some sort of childrens vitamin drink. I had exclusively the chocolate flavor and remember it tasting little different if any from chocolate milk. Will she have something like that, to at least get something else healthy in her? What about those fruit/veggie puree pouches meant for infants and toddlers? Those are small in size and the caps can screw back on and go straight in the fridge, no waste if she doesn't want it all at once either. The two year old i watch loves those. Will she have fruit juice? Crackers, bread, toast?

 

[jamse37]

Pediasure is just too much sugar

If she has toast etc she will play with whatever we put on it but not eat it.
Juice etc always out for her in various cups every day but drinks very little

 

[zurb]

Don't know if it would help, but I used to love toast cut into shapes like houses or people. I could be the huge monster who comes along and gobbles them up
Or have you tried letting her choose what you will eat and then she helps prepare it?

 

[Ylva]

I am reminded of Mary Lennox. She didn't eat much while she spent all her time indoors, but after she spent the day playing on the Yorkshire moors she had an appetite for probably the first time in her life.

I know what you're going to say: "But she doesn't play outside." No sh*t. There are still walks, hikes, bike rides. There are even indoor physical activities. The blogger at Diary of a Mom says her autistic kid does yoga.

 

[jamse37]

Zurb
Thank you for all your effort
Faces are everyday on the plate

Ylva

She loves outside. As long as she has prepped herself.

 

[jamse37]

Ylva

Sorry that posted before I wrote

Thank you

 

[Moomingirl]

Hey Jamse,

First off, the disclaimer: I have absolutely no experience with small children, apart from having been one 35 years ago.

You say that you have tried offering your daughter lots of things (7 things to choose from on her plate). As someone with autism, this sounds completely overwhelming to me. Like a lot of people here, I can eat one thing consistently for months and months. I like the fact that it is familiar and predictable. If you put 7 things on my plate as a child, it probably would have melted my brain, and I wouldn't have eaten any either.

My suggestion (obviously run it past her doctor first), would be to choose one thing which is nice and nutritious, and give it to her every single day, day in and day out. For months if necessary. When it becomes familiar, you may find that she starts accepting it, and trying it. I wouldn't even make a fuss or encourage her too much until that thing on her plate becomes very familiar to her. I know they recommend representing food multiple times to children, for one with autism this is probably ten times more important.

If you can get to the stage where she accepts one thing, then slowly introduce another thing. Slowly, slowly, slowly. I don't think I was as bad as your daughter, but I was a really picky eater as a child. If anything upset me or threw me off my routine, I just wouldn't eat. I was always underweight and sickly. Unfortunately I'm not able to tell you how my parents coped when I was your daughter's age, I can only tell you what I remember.

One thing that helped was that meals were always very predictable. I knew that I would always have X for breakfast and Y for lunch. Dinner in our house was on a schedule, so on Monday we would have meal A, Tuesday it would be meal B, etc. Sometimes I might decide I didn't like dinner B, and I wouldn't eat it, but the schedule was comforting nonetheless. After six months, I might decide I was bored of lunch Y, and suddenly change to something else, which I would then eat every day from then on.

Anyway, you may have tried this option too, but certainly from my perspective, the choice you are giving her may be counterproductive.

I hope this helps a little bit. Good luck with her.

By the way, if it is any comfort, I did get better as I got older, and now, apart from preferring familiar things, I do eat normally and can regularly be persuaded to try new things.

 

[jamse37]

Hi moomingirl

That's absolute genius!!

I go on about how much she suffers sensory overload and then I do this to her at meal times.

She has actually gone to sleep for once. So come wake up time I shall start with the same food routine.

Thank you and thank you again

 

[Moomingirl]

Hi moomingirl

That's absolute genius!!

I go on about how much she suffers sensory overload and then I do this to her at meal times.

She has actually gone to sleep for once. So come wake up time I shall start with the same food routine.

Thank you and thank you again

Not genius, just experience. I really hope it helps her. Do let me know how it goes.

Edit - I just noticed your comment above about her having juice available 'in various cups'. Try using just one favourite cup. Predictability is the key.

 

[jamse37]

It's all about change and I haven't even seen what I have been doing.
I am so OCD to get more knowledge by reading than anyone else that I have missed the most obvious. Grrrr

Her milk has to be out of same bottle with same teat never a cup never through a straw its always the same bottle. We changed the teat the other day (same age one etc) she would only drink small amounts.
She has meltdowns beyond belief about change

Same cup every day. Simple. Same food God I am annoyed at myself.

Moomingirl you are my Einstein.

 

[jamse37]

Got to get some shut eye. We will probably be up in a couple of hours.

 

[Moomingirl]

It's blindingly obvious to me because I understand her feelings, having been very similar myself. It's not obvious to someone 'normal', how something as small as having a choice of food, or juice in a different cup, can be enough to cause shut down.

Just consider me your 'Autism translator'.

 

[jamse37]

It's blindingly obvious to me because I understand her feelings, having been very similar myself. It's not obvious to someone 'normal', how something as small as having a choice of food, or juice in a different cup, can be enough to cause shut down.

Just consider me your 'Autism translator'.

Muchas gracias

 

[Kari Suttle]

Edit - I just noticed your comment above about her having juice available 'in various cups'. Try using just one favourite cup. Predictability is the key.

I agree. Also, i would add to make sure if she's not carrying her cup around the houses with her to leave it in a few specific spots. I dont know about your daughter, but ive got a terrible short term memory even more when I’m overloaded like right now. So just put it down for her in a handful of spots depending on where she’s playing and then even the spot her drink is in will be as predictable as it gets. I don’t know about as a toddler/preschooler, but I know that for most of my life I’ve always functioned mostly by routine. No thought just routine. Too much to think about leads to overload. So even having everyday items in the same predictable spot helps.


I also support everything said above - the previous poster with the long message (sorry idk your name) was spot on. As a child i was similar to your daughter in that sensory overload horrifically impacted how i ate. As a preschooler i apparently ate only about two or three things and that was it. I like what was said about not even encouraging her - i wouldn't even do that either. I mean just put it in front of her and ignore if she eats it or not. You might not even sit with her, unless of course you’re eating too. Its fine if she does or doesn't eat it, no pressure or praise eitherways. I think putting just one or two food items on her plate would be a good idea, small amounts of whatever it is you pick. The less intimidating the amount and the plate itself looks to her the better. If food becomes a struggle or a source of conflict in any way, that will only make it harder on her. I find that i learn to try and like new foods when there is no pressure at all - just by watching other people or picking it up voluntarily on my own.

 

[Moomingirl]

....I’ve always functioned mostly by routine. No thought just routine. Too much to think about leads to overload.

I just wanted to highlight this sentence for Jamse, as this really sums it up for me.

Yes, when I am feeling strong I can do a lot, even though I know it will cost me in exhaustion later. But routine is like a safe port in a storm for me.

To add to what we both said about not making a fuss about your daughter eating, I just want to say that, like a lot of people with Autism, she may be hypervigilant. It is like being on constant red alert for trouble. I've tried to think of a suitable analogy, and the best I can come up with right now is this:

You are in a rough part of town at night, and where you need to get to involves you cutting through a dark alley. You're pretty nervous, but you need to do this, so you go down the alley. Then you hear footsteps running up behind you.....imagine how scared you are right now, and the adrenaline pumping through your veins ready for the 'fight or flight' response.

Now imagine that you live with this feeling most of the time, and it can be set off by something as simple as "I don't know if I'm getting my juice in the blue cup or the green one" or "what food is going to be on the plate today".

I know that's overly dramatic, but it's the closest thing I can think of. So when you give your daughter new food and then watch her closely, she's going to have that "uh-oh, why is everyone suddenly looking at me, why can you cut the tension with a knife, what's so wrong here" reaction, which of course will freak her out and make her not want to eat. It needs to be more like "oh this food again, I've seen this every day for three weeks, maybe I'll try some while nobody is looking, everything seems calm here".

Of course, please remember that we are all different, I am just explaining it from my point of view. Your daughter may or may not have similar issues, but hopefully some of the things we post will prove useful to you.

 

[jamse37]

Kari moomingirl

Thank you both.

My daughter in my eyes is spot on to what you are describing.
Most of the time after a mealtime where she is offered various food she will the head off to lick the carpet which I have always believed she has done to calm herself to avoid a meltdown.
So I shall be putting your tips into practice and let you know how it goes.
Thank you again.

 

[jamse37]

Quick update.
We have left only dried mango and a drink of smoothie out for my daughter for two days now

Yesterday she asked for and ate about eight salt and vinegar snack a jacks (little ones) some mango and her usual milk

Today she asked for some pizza ( this is skinned pizza so literally no topping or hard bottom So dough really ) and ate a little of that drank about 4oz smoothie ate a packet of wotsits and three salt vinegar snack a jacks and a big dollop of mayonnaise. And her usual milk

So looking at it.
It's been stress free ( if not a bit scary)
She has asked for food ( never happened before)
And she drank more smoothie (yes!!!) than ever before

So we are going to continue with leaving just mango out for two weeks and see how it goes.

I shall keep you updated.

 

[Ylva]

That's great.

On a somewhat unrelated note, back when I suggested teaching her about anatomy, it was mostly inspired by a French cartoon I watched as a child, which a friend had his two-year-old watch last year:

There are English episodes out there, but I don't know if it's they are complete. Not that she would have any trouble learning French just from hearing it. It's just a suggestion, though. I don't know if it will freak her out that the characters are cells and viruses, or if the intro has too much saxophone, or something like that. (The main characters are red blood cells, an elderly one who tells two younger ones about biological processes while they carry oxygen around in the body. I am partial to Sandra Kim's interpretation of the intro song, but her voice may not sound as pleasant to everyone.)