josue oropeza
New Member
Hello everyone,
My name is Josue. (he/him)
I met my boyfriend Edwin one year ago on E-harmony dating website. Everything was going great, and I had no idea what Asperger's was. Edwin swept me off my feet. I really fell in love with him because of his high intelligence, his ability to make me laugh, and he was charming. I lived in Southern California and he in Phoenix Arizona. It wasn't long when we started to make plans for me to move in with him. I was in cloud 9. I would notice some strange behavior patterns, but thought that was just his personality. He would talk on the phone for long periods of time, but did not seem to interested in what I had to say. And when I would visit I noticed his OCD. I liked that about him. His place was immaculate, everything in order. But right away after moving in with him things began to go downhill. I did not like that he brought other guys over to the house when I was not there. He would openly tell me if his guy "friends" were over. He did not try to hide that. But for me I would get jealous and he said I was controlling. I decided to let him have his friends over and I never again showed my jealousy. But also I began to notice he was not affectionate. I would text him if I was at work and he would take hours to reply. That would hurt me as I felt was not interested in me. So many times I would keep my mouth shut and not tell him if something bothered me because I feared that he would think I was "clingy' or being "drama." He would tell me he loved me, but I would not feel it. He would cook for me and for my birthday he got me a present. When he asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I said, "Oh nothing..." he literally got me nothing. I was hurt. All these small things started to add up. Then one day I began doing research and that's when I found out what Asperger's Syndrome was, and I was like Omg, he has all of these symptoms! When I asked him about it, he said he didn't know, but he was diagnosed with ADHD back in the 70s. No one knew what Asperger's was back then! Then it hit me, did I just discover? Eventually more and more things began piling up until I could no longer take the pain anymore. I told him how I felt like I was the only one "chasing" him and that I felt he wasn't reciprocating love back to me. Then my worse fear came true, he decided to break up with me. He said how he's been doing research on Asperger's since I told him, and that he absolutely thinks he does have it. But it's the lack of trying to save our relationship that cut me the deepest. I told him that even though we are different, we can work things out, I am a patient person and i am willing to stick with him. He said that he thinks it's unfair for me to have to endure feeling "neglected." he said he wants me to find someone who can fulfill me emotionally. He did not cry, he seemed so cold. I am trying to be strong but I am crippled inside. I left my disabled father alone back in California to be with this man, I moved my life to an entire different state. It's the lack of empathy that gets to me. He said he wants to be friends, and that he cares about me. But then he says he cannot picture us living together "long-term." I feel so much sadness and anger and betrayal in my heart. I do not show it, of course. But I just need a hug right now
My name is Josue. (he/him)
I met my boyfriend Edwin one year ago on E-harmony dating website. Everything was going great, and I had no idea what Asperger's was. Edwin swept me off my feet. I really fell in love with him because of his high intelligence, his ability to make me laugh, and he was charming. I lived in Southern California and he in Phoenix Arizona. It wasn't long when we started to make plans for me to move in with him. I was in cloud 9. I would notice some strange behavior patterns, but thought that was just his personality. He would talk on the phone for long periods of time, but did not seem to interested in what I had to say. And when I would visit I noticed his OCD. I liked that about him. His place was immaculate, everything in order. But right away after moving in with him things began to go downhill. I did not like that he brought other guys over to the house when I was not there. He would openly tell me if his guy "friends" were over. He did not try to hide that. But for me I would get jealous and he said I was controlling. I decided to let him have his friends over and I never again showed my jealousy. But also I began to notice he was not affectionate. I would text him if I was at work and he would take hours to reply. That would hurt me as I felt was not interested in me. So many times I would keep my mouth shut and not tell him if something bothered me because I feared that he would think I was "clingy' or being "drama." He would tell me he loved me, but I would not feel it. He would cook for me and for my birthday he got me a present. When he asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I said, "Oh nothing..." he literally got me nothing. I was hurt. All these small things started to add up. Then one day I began doing research and that's when I found out what Asperger's Syndrome was, and I was like Omg, he has all of these symptoms! When I asked him about it, he said he didn't know, but he was diagnosed with ADHD back in the 70s. No one knew what Asperger's was back then! Then it hit me, did I just discover? Eventually more and more things began piling up until I could no longer take the pain anymore. I told him how I felt like I was the only one "chasing" him and that I felt he wasn't reciprocating love back to me. Then my worse fear came true, he decided to break up with me. He said how he's been doing research on Asperger's since I told him, and that he absolutely thinks he does have it. But it's the lack of trying to save our relationship that cut me the deepest. I told him that even though we are different, we can work things out, I am a patient person and i am willing to stick with him. He said that he thinks it's unfair for me to have to endure feeling "neglected." he said he wants me to find someone who can fulfill me emotionally. He did not cry, he seemed so cold. I am trying to be strong but I am crippled inside. I left my disabled father alone back in California to be with this man, I moved my life to an entire different state. It's the lack of empathy that gets to me. He said he wants to be friends, and that he cares about me. But then he says he cannot picture us living together "long-term." I feel so much sadness and anger and betrayal in my heart. I do not show it, of course. But I just need a hug right now