1. Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Featured Don't massage at work,crimney sakes

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Aspychata, Jan 11, 2020.

  1. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

    Messages:
    3,511
    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2019
    Karma:
    +6,123
    So l have done a few threads on my current position which brings me to today's post.

    Don't give massages or touch people at work. I don't care what kind of job l work, Don't Touch Me, ever.

    It's very disconcerting to have complete strangers touch you, l am not your personal keyboard, do not touch me.

    So this idiot is trying to drum up a girlfriend l guess by showing his massage technique. He was giving a female a massage near me. Also, l have had two woman come up and touch me, l feel very uncomfortable. What happened to social and personal boundaries at work? They need cameras in all work areas these days. This defintely tweaked my brain out and a huge gallon of ice cream is calling my name.

    How would you handle this? I have a supervisor who won't do anything, a boss who is too nice, but the office manager may want to know. I feel l shouldn't say anything until l have given notice in 5 more weeks.
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2020
  2. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    24,456
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2013
    Karma:
    +31,337
    I've seen that happen before.

     
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • Informative Informative x 1
  3. LucyPurrs

    LucyPurrs NT, INFJ V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,259
    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2017
    Karma:
    +3,944
    You're on a tear tonight Judge, hahaha! You can put your finger on scenes in the blink of an eye! You must be our resident film expert, LOL.
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

    Messages:
    3,511
    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2019
    Karma:
    +6,123
    I feel sorry for that lady. We have a right to not be (man-handled) touched at employment. I grew up in that era.

    Truth be said: this guy is trying to hard to pick up, tonite he stared me down, on and on. He is supposedly trying to find a warm body to marry.

    In my state, looking for a nurse with a purse is what someone said to me.
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2020
  5. Kalinychta

    Kalinychta Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    719
    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2019
    Karma:
    +1,488
    It seems like you get sexually harassed and unwantedly romantically pursued at work and outside of it on a regular basis. Do you live in Texas or something? You need to learn kung fu and/or the ninja death stare. Let’s see that joker try to stare you down then.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  6. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

    Messages:
    3,511
    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2019
    Karma:
    +6,123
    I think because l am somewhat autistic, l find unwanted attention disarming, like l need to disarm you with my stare at forehead above your eyes, why l judo kick sense into your pants. This is called martial arts, spectrum style. I am going to open up studios in every state and franchise this idea. I am leaving this job in 7 weeks, so thankfully, my life will slow down finally.

    The funny thing was l was harrassed by a female in a exercise class in LA. She wouldn't leave me alone and kept asking me if l was a model. I was nice because l wasn't sure if she was shy a happy meal upstairs.
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2020
  7. Varzar

    Varzar Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    453
    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2019
    Karma:
    +839
    I would say that if you're leaving the job anyways, why bother saying anything.. It would just burn bridges unnecessarily...

    That being said, I'm really good at burning bridges myself.... I mean, who doesn't like roasting a few marshmallows?
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Funny Funny x 2
  8. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    24,456
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2013
    Karma:
    +31,337
    He's got a point. ;)
     
  9. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,212
    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2018
    Karma:
    +3,103
    What are your plans after this job, @Aspychata?
     
  10. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

    Messages:
    3,511
    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2019
    Karma:
    +6,123
    Get another job.....
    But l am moving, so l decided l didn't need stress from job and stress from moving. After everybody's great input, l realize managing stress is important and to work around major things. So l have a place l will return to volunteering at, and then will reapply for work in my new town. Since silliness seems to be a part of my journey, l make time for it now and work with it, pencil it in my daily calendar.
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2020
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Bolletje

    Bolletje Overly complicated potato V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    3,900
    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2017
    Karma:
    +10,504
    I have a colleague that touches me regularly. It’s nothing sexual and I know he just means to be friendly, but it makes me uncomfortable. It’s usually just a hand on my shoulder but one time he pinched my cheek (face, not butt ;) ). I think he meant it as a reassuring gesture because he regularly checks in on my well-being, but I don’t like the touching.
    He also comments on my appearance a lot (“you look tired”, “you look ill”,“you look heated”, your hair is wet”, “ your hair is frizzy”). I think it’s intended to be a conversation starter but I don’t care for it. He’s old enough to be my dad so I’ll be generous and say he has some fatherly feelings towards me.
    Still, I keep my office door closed in the morning so he doesn’t see me when he comes in, hoping he skips his morning greeting.

    I also take care not to let people know when it’s my birthday because I don’t want people to kiss me. I forgot to close my door on my first day of work in the new year and got a barrage of colleagues wishing me a happy new year with three pecks on the cheek. Not my happiest day.
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 3
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    7,624
    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2016
    Karma:
    +7,428
    Change your clothing your hairstyle it works for me if I put anything tight fitting on that's it it changes soon as I go back to loose I'm left alone they just don't have the intelligence to understand anything else
     
  13. mummifiedcircuitry

    mummifiedcircuitry passes for human

    Messages:
    47
    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2011
    Karma:
    +78
    People have bad boundaries for a variety of reasons. I try to move ppl's hands away if I see them trying to pat my shoulder or arm or shift out of their reach. Not everyone we talk to has ill intent but you have to protect yourself and keep yourself from feeling uncomfortable.

    Do I wish ppl weren't so grabby? Sure.

    Is it likely being told to stop touching you will discourage them? Unlikely.

    Seems like keeping away from old grabbyhands is the best policy. I try to keep about two feet between me and strangers at all times. When they close distance I slowly shift and if they keep closing it, I tell them I can hear them from where they are. Some ppl are just close talkers. Bleh.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Useful Useful x 1
  14. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    7,624
    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2016
    Karma:
    +7,428
    could you afford a body camera the police have them for the very same reason that you need them
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  15. mummifiedcircuitry

    mummifiedcircuitry passes for human

    Messages:
    47
    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2011
    Karma:
    +78
    I'm not sure what reason that would be
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  16. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    7,624
    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2016
    Karma:
    +7,428
    i proof of who did what to whom
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  17. mummifiedcircuitry

    mummifiedcircuitry passes for human

    Messages:
    47
    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2011
    Karma:
    +78
    I'm not scared of ppl touching me. I prefer they don't and have been in confrontations with strangers before. They usually just yell a little and go away yelling. As long as you don't touch my face, I'm fine.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  18. Wolf Prince

    Wolf Prince My future job title.

    Messages:
    1,198
    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2019
    Karma:
    +1,948
    No touch the wolf.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  19. Bolletje

    Bolletje Overly complicated potato V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    3,900
    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2017
    Karma:
    +10,504
    I think a lot of people would object to being filmed with a body cam on a daily basis at work. I think it would only cause more trouble. It would be impossible at my job because I work with sensitive information.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  20. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    7,624
    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2016
    Karma:
    +7,428
    The problem is people are so litigious today They would brazenly steal something as an example and if you prevent them or try to ,they will say I will sue you, so somebody could touch you for whatever reason and if you try to prevent them from touching you they could accuse you of trying to assault them especially if you’re working in something like the nursing home a body camera would be a boon
     
    • Agree Agree x 2