Masked Man
Well-Known Member
Hi everyone,
I had a question for everyone here and what are your thoughts/opinions on this.
I was talking to a (male) friend of mine - he is ND - and we were discussing relationships and the compromises you have to sometimes make. According to him, he very much likes his partners to like the same things he does and likes for them to go with him to events he wants to go to. He says this is important to him in order for him to have a relationship with someone.
However, I asked him if he would do things with his partner (a woman) if they were things she enjoyed but that he did not necessarily enjoy. He said probably not. I asked him why not. He said that was too much like a transactional expectation and he didn't want that.
I disagreed but didn't argue with him. To me, this is not transactional - it's reciprocal. You do things with the other person because they enjoy it and it makes them happy. They, in turn, do the things you want to do, even if it's not necessarily their thing. Both parties want to be cared for, and they take turns doing the caring.
What do you all think of this? It seems like NDs have a hard time with this concept.
I had a question for everyone here and what are your thoughts/opinions on this.
I was talking to a (male) friend of mine - he is ND - and we were discussing relationships and the compromises you have to sometimes make. According to him, he very much likes his partners to like the same things he does and likes for them to go with him to events he wants to go to. He says this is important to him in order for him to have a relationship with someone.
However, I asked him if he would do things with his partner (a woman) if they were things she enjoyed but that he did not necessarily enjoy. He said probably not. I asked him why not. He said that was too much like a transactional expectation and he didn't want that.
I disagreed but didn't argue with him. To me, this is not transactional - it's reciprocal. You do things with the other person because they enjoy it and it makes them happy. They, in turn, do the things you want to do, even if it's not necessarily their thing. Both parties want to be cared for, and they take turns doing the caring.
What do you all think of this? It seems like NDs have a hard time with this concept.