I have never felt gifted in any practical way, but I believe that it's not unusual for people on the spectrum to have insight or abilities that fall outside of the norm. It's the idea of "norm" that makes us compare ourselves to the majority average. Society has age/grade expectations, so if you fall below, you are considered a dullard, but if you exceed expectations, you are some kind of genius. This is a scale designed to find the proper pace for educating society. We have to move collectively like a herd of cattle. "Get along little dogie".
You have to live with your "special superpower" before you recognize it as a superpower. These superpowers can be slight, but clearly superior to the norm. At the same time, we focus on how we "can't" do what everyone else can do. We are comparing ourselves to the herd once again, yet denying the small, precious elements that make us "special".
Humans are competitive by nature, and we expect to win the contests and races that crowd our lives from childhood. I find it funny that I still take pride in winning an award for being the fastest base runner on my little league baseball team. I'm 62. That's either cute or pathetic. I lean toward pathetic. Would my life be any different had I not won that prize? Why should I attach pride to being the fastest runner? All the other kids lost. Were they distraught and did they become career criminals? No, except for one or two, but it had nothing to do with baseball.
In my opinion, we tend to follow the crowd. Everyone's life "norm" is different and we have to adjust ourselves to the world as it presents itself to us. We are always comparing, and we feel that we are nothing if we aren't the best. This competitive spirit keeps society invigorated, but I know that those on the spectrum have to adjust their interpretation of being part of the herd. We find it hard to accept our abilities and deficiencies without some kind of sadness, frustration, or anger. We're never good enough.
I remember reading that children with Aspergers feel frustration often. I don't understand psychology well enough to know if this frustration is a major contributor to anxiety and depression. I sense that this might be true for me, but I am only one person who still clings to his base-running abilities. We defeat ourselves by making comparisons and rating the value of our triumphs according to a "common average". One person wins, the rest are losers. If I had not been on the team, some other kid would have won, and I would have become the career criminal. Can you see how ridiculous this is? We are all on both the upper and the lower parts of the "value" scale. We shouldn't be rating ourselves this way. It's a losing proposition and it does nothing to help society or humanity. We put too much pressure on the outcome of our silly contests.
Our special skills are just skills - like people who can pack the trunk of a car like a jigsaw puzzle. We all have our stronger points and our weaker ones. Admittedly, we all want to strangle the person who puts the Thanksgiving turkey in the over at 6:00 am, but forgets to turn it on. These behaviors are found everywhere. We don't have a monopoly on packing, and university PhDs can misplace their office keys, for the 4th time this year. For as negative as we can be about our shortcomings, we have to embrace the added value we bring to the world and to our personal lives. Some of it the result of ASD. We know because we feel it. The rest of it is just who we are, regardless of a category. Our abilities and short-comings are just more pronounced because of herd expectations. The herd is not qualified to judge anyone.
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