Do you Really Have Friends???

[Rainwoman]

I have friends. Two wonderful close friends. In my life there is nobody else but my close friends and my family because I cannot "administrate" more than two of them good friends. I used to try different ways of life but I failed. My family and my good friends are my life.

 

[Spaz]

I have two real friends who I share everything with. Besides them I have three other friends who I also like to talk and spend time a lot but they are not as close for me as those two best friends at all.

 

[cb_aspie]

I have one really close friend whom I have known since middle school. Other than that, I have my church and work "friends", but I never see them away from those settings. I don't like talking on the phone to anyone except my mom and one friend really, so I don't have contact with my "friends" outside of those structured settings. Oh, and I also have lots of online "friends" I only talk to on facebook.

 

[Peace]

I too pretty much went from having a fun friends group to now having none. My pastor today said an interesting thing. He said that men, do not know how to socialize. If you look at them at a party or a dance, they pretty much just stand there. They might comment about sports or cars but go back to just standing. Women, know how to socialize. They stand and chat for hours, and that's just at the grocery store. They chat on the phone, they go for girls weekends, and they do jewelry parties.
He went on to say that it was like this because men started going off to war, and were not around to show our boys how to become men, and so that important step was no longer passed on. Since the women were the only ones here, the only role models the boys had were the solo, too tough to fail, big screen hero's. Not realistic, but it makes sense if you look at how men interact in general.
The point I see here is that you are just a product of what was put into you as a child and there is nothing wrong with you. You are not doing "Bad" things, you are just doing different things. If you start to make some changes, you are bound to get some different results.
Keep Moving

 

[Loomis]

No friends here, other than my partner. It doesn't bother me, although I sometimes wonder if it is odd. I don't really like to talk much, so there doesn't seem to be much point in socializing, I guess.

I have no real friends, just acquaintances and I do not feel any need for one. It may be odd from the viewpoint of a NT but For an aspie it is the norm.

 

[anne.bc]

I definitely have friends. I might feel neglected at times, but I've always made an effort to remember that unlike them, I am unemployed... therefore I have all this time on my hands to the point where boredom strikes, and with enough boredom comes that unwelcoming feeling of loneliness. My fiance is my best friend, my other best friend lives in Florida, but I still have plenty of friends with my fraternity, the community band I am in (mostly people older than me which is fantastic because I have noticed most of my Aspie friends are like me and have an easier time getting along with older people.), and the friends that my fiance and I mutually have. We have movie nights and random gatherings, which is wonderful. What is great is that I am still making more friends, which I was originally worried about when I graduated from college last month. I feared like many others the "oh crap. how do I make friends now?" thing that my family warned me about. I was in a horrible mood for a few weeks, and now I finally feel better. Plus this beautiful iMac I just got yesterday is helping tremendously because it gives me something to do! I'm spending the next few days getting it organized as I transfer my life from my MacBook to this iMac. So far I am having a lot of fun with it. :laugh:

 

[SUM1]

I have a few regular friends (ones I still contact/see regularly, which is roughly 5) , one of which most likely has Asperger's. But unlike normal people, who whoever they go up to are instantly friendly with them, everyone apart from my friends seem to want to be my enemy. It annoys me.

 

[Mellotron]

Aside from my girlfriend who I live with I don't have any friends. I'm not really too bothered by it most of the time. I find myself in my free time finding things to do with no problem. I kind of feel like its a lot of work to keep a friend in person, having to keep in touch and make plans. I used to have a bunch of friends in high school and college but over time they were getting into questionable drug use and things I wasn't really into and I just grew apart from them. Otherwise I have been in bands and had the other band members as friends but rarely did anything outside of band practices or shows with them. When I would play a show I would pack up my stuff and run for the door (Neil Peart apparently does this too which made me laugh) whereas everyone else would hang out. Nowadays I don't have the time or I guess the energy to be in a band. It takes up time after work that I would rather be in control of. I kind of miss being in a band but I'm torn over whether or not I'd enjoy it.

Every so often I wonder if it might be good for me to have an in person friend but the feeling usually subsides. Its weird because I remember when I was a kid my mother would always tell me I had to make friends and go outside and I just really had no interest. Once I got to high school I felt pressured to have a group of friends so as not to feel left out so I found some friends and fit in with them. A lot of the time I would space out into my own world when I would hang out with these people, like I was looking for something else in life. So when I stopped hanging out with them it wasn't like a terrible loss. I had a couple of real friends in there, one of which I probably would get along with still today, someone I could hang out with one on one.

 

[Ste11aeres]

I have one real friend. If you read my different posts you will see that I keep mentioning this friend over and over again, because I am so proud to have him. :bounce:

 

[Sparticus]

Well I have one friend.
She is older, an NT but with some Autism ...ah...potential. But other than that and my son [autism-pdd but he's really Aspergers] I am alone. That's the sh*t for men in my area...

 

[Aalo]

I thought I had already wrote into this thread. Well.

I have few close friends, most of them are online friends, one doesn't have any online profiles and therefore we had longer period with almost no communication earlier. Even that meeting IRL isn't any must for me in having good relationship with someone, I've seen all these persons many times. I count them to be close because they can handle long periods of silence and then can chat again without holding grudges. They have their own lives too and don't insist me to be there for them all the time, but are happy to hear from me from times ti times. Right now I'm not talking to one of them because I got tired of him. I of course don't tell it straight to them. I like to meet them on occasion. Maybe every five months-three years depending on everything we might have going on with our lives. Two of them have ever briefly met each other because one came earlier than other left my company once, but I've met them all on separate occasions and they also serve a different purpose for me. (I know, this sounds great)

Then I know plenty of people from uni that in my own language I merely call pals than friends, but using English in that manner feels confusing and I can just say they're friends too. I don't really mean that, I'm not really interested in them or spending time with them, but as I communicate with some of them every now and then, I just have to have name for them. Some of them I can have good discussions with, but still I'm not interested in getting to known to them much more deeper.

 

[Peace]

I am wondering, just how many women live in Red Spartan Battleship?

Well I have one friend.
She is older, an NT but with some Autism ...ah...potential. But other than that and my son [autism-pdd but he's really Aspergers] I am alone. That's the sh*t for men in my area...

 

[Sparticus]

1,000 women & 1,000 men. Plus androids, guests and Amazons-alien race-great warriors.]

I am wondering, just how many women live in Red Spartan Battleship?

 

[manca]

I'm finding out that when I'm occupied with my obsessions, when I'm happy, I don't need or want people around me. It's only when I don't have anything to do or if I'm sad when I feel lonely. That are not very great conditions to keep friends and most of the time I don't feel in the mood to be with people. No wonders they are not here for me when I'd need them.

 

[pacman]

I have a girlfriend, but I don't have any close friends. I have a few online friends and some IRL acquaintances, but that's pretty much it. I'm alright with that.

 

[total-recoil]

I am the same and I discovered I'm far better off getting stuck into whatever interests I have and not dwelling on the social interaction that has never been normal for me. I have a pet German Shepherd I'm very closely bonded to and I guess nobody else really comes that close since I always find human friends tend to be unreliable (desert you in times of need). I've come close to having girlfriends on rare occasions but then I found the AS situation tends to make itself known more as the relationship develops with the pressure to fit in and be normal. I think these days I just concluded I am the way I am and have been this way since earliest childhood and it seems a better option to just occupy myself with what I can do rather than try to do something that leads to rejection.

I'm finding out that when I'm occupied with my obsessions, when I'm happy, I don't need or want people around me. It's only when I don't have anything to do or if I'm sad when I feel lonely. That are not very great conditions to keep friends and most of the time I don't feel in the mood to be with people. No wonders they are not here for me when I'd need them.

 

[KiranKai]

My Friends are Plato Aristotle Einstein Newton etc I never had a friends in my whole life.

Physics is my girl friend nature is my teacher...!!!

no relationships and no friends... ha ha ha hah

 

[Sylar]

I have one who I've known since we were both 12. I don't leave the house though so don't see him much since leaving college. I'd be open to making internet and real life friends but don't know how to go about either.

 

[wyverary]

My Friends are Plato Aristotle Einstein Newton etc I never had a friends in my whole life.

Physics is my girl friend nature is my teacher...!!!

no relationships and no friends... ha ha ha hah

Now THERE'S a sentiment I can get behind.

 

[Sparticus]

I used to...don't know where they went...hmm I think I left some bout 10 years ago when I took the less used left trail and they went right...?
At least that's how it feels. How was I supposed to know ya had to nurse relationships...or maybe I've just had acquaintainces...and a few close friends that I wasn't able to hold onto. Let's see I have my NT female friend. There is a friend who might have Aspergers but he moved; we talk on the phone here and there.

I feel stuck. Always was busy doing my hobbies, hiking, camping, photograhy, swimming, sports...I did a lot of solo things & didn't realize that I was mostly alone. That it might not be "normal." Once in awhile I had a group of guy acquaintainces-we'd play football, drink, play cards etc. Maybe I'd meet them thru work or they lived on my block. But that's long gone. The last group of guys I met in 2006 thru volunteering. We'd throw a football around, go for walks, talked about football & a few of us got together at a diner or to grab a burger.

But by 2008 that broke up. Guys move, get divorced etc. Since then I've tried again several times via volunteering or going to a support group. But...nothing. So I've started to [duh] think it's me, that somethings wrong with me...and now...I feel like my feet are in cement and I'll never have an offline friend again in my area. I've given up. Maybe if I acted fake & created my new invention, an NT Suit... yes that's the trick. Comes with an NT Cloaking device...and an inflatable chest for an extra $150...