Do You Ignore Your Neighbors?

[Raggamuffin]

Depends who they are. I like to be friendly where possible. But most people aren't interesting to me.

Ed

 

[Callistemon]

And re the topic, I'm ultra sociable most of the time, and enjoy interacting with strangers and familiar people both - just not with obnoxious individuals. I also enjoy my own space and being on my own, but I have to have both - the social interactions with other people, including "new" people, and the alone time to reflect and do my own things.

 

[Judge]

In living in the same place for nearly 12 years now, only one tenant who lived next door could be called "friendly". Though I can't say I ignore my neighbors. Funny to think I've never even encountered the tenant who lives next door to me at the moment. A student, probably attending UNR.

Yet they always get my attention if they make noise or other disturbances I don't appreciate. But I seldom make any contact with them, for better or worse. People tend to stick to their own business here- always have. And I'm no exception. My bad? Not really.

IMO it's just another social dynamic indicative of the times we live in. A certain degree of understandable paranoia combined with communicating with others technologically rather than personally. This ain't "Cheers".

Truth is, I could say something similar regarding just about every rental unit I ever lived in with the exception of when I owned a condominium unit. Being a property owner carries somewhat different social dynamics, usually in the best interest collectively of a neighborhood. I was friendly with all my immediate neighbors and the feeling seemed mutual.

 

[Pats]

I've lived a lot of places and have never known my neighbors. I was at a restaurant once with a friend and the waitress brought me a drink and said it was from a 'neighbor'. I don't drink so I turned the drink down, but I looked at where she was pointing and did not recognize anyone. I hope I didn't and don't appear rude, but I just don't know my neighbors.

 

[Aspychata]

@Judge
Funny owning a place and renting a place are two different things.

I have owned five houses however l didn't like 90% of the neighbors either. Luck of the draw that l would live next to curmudgeons who treat their kids horribly. I lived on one block in a mid-west state where the young boys were obviously drugged by their parents but the father had such a rough demeanor, l was worry about vindictive behavior if l reported him. Eventually we moved out because the cul de sac had a clannish feeling.

 

[Judge]

@Judge
Funny owning a place and renting a place are two different things.

I have owned five houses however l didn't like 90% of the neighbors either. Luck of the draw that l would live next to curmudgeons who treat their kids horribly. I lived on one block in a mid-west state where the young boys were obviously drugged by their parents but the father had such a rough demeanor, l was worry about vindictive behavior if l reported him. Eventually we moved out because the cul de sac had a clannish feeling.

Good point. Reminds me that some neighborhoods are not welcoming to anyone considered to be an "outsider". Which can deeply transcend any general sense of being friendly, especially towards newcomers. A dynamic that your realtor is not likely to ever tell you.

Interesting thought as well- the difference in owning a house and property as opposed to a condominium. One's property line and rights are very prominent with one, while the other hardly exists in comparison. In the latter case, more often both will share a certain degree of animosity towards their homeowners association.

And home-owning neighbors with any kind of sustained property disputes can get disturbingly belligerent towards one another. Causing either property damage or bodily injury...or both. Even when such disputes are over relatively benign issues. Something I observed as an insurance underwriter.

So with actual property owners, it can be a crapshoot as to whether attempting to be on good terms with a neighbor can help or hurt.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

I typically keep to myself in every apartment that I have rented other than my first apartment. The second place I did it mostly because I was living next to this couple that would have loud screaming fights at all hours of the day and I didn’t want to interact with them because I didn’t want them to hurt me. The fighting was so bad that I called the cops on them six times in less than three months. And some of the other people were a bit strange. The other two apartments I was mostly isolated from others and I’m okay with that as I do like having some privacy.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

It kind of depends.

I look out for my neighbors, even if I don't know them. But I don't usually talk to them other than smiles or hellos at the mailbox.

But every few years, someone moves in who becomes my new best friend. They're usually the really kind and sweet, social type.

The last time that happened, I was flanked on either side by Somali matriarchs. Both women were so kind to me and my daughter. They would make us tons of food all the time. And let me tell you, East African food is the best cuisine on earth! One woman was very shy, and had very good, kind, sweet children. The other one was outgoing and funny. She had loud, boisterous, mischievous kids. Both women had very kind, breadwinner type husbands that treated me very politely, but kept me at a distance, as this is part of their respect for their wives.

I went with them to their Masjid (they thought it weird that Americans call them Mosques). It was an amazing experience, because most Americans are a little afraid of, and curious about Islamic culture.

There really is a such thing as Eastern Hospitality. If you say you like something of theirs, they will often offer it to you as a gift, even if it hurts them financially.

If a Muslim offers you a cup of tea, take it. It is required in their culture as a gesture of friendship. After 3 cups, you are best buddies for life. Plus their chai milk tea.. omg!!! Spicy and creamy and sweet!

Our kids played together, and I've sat at many henna parties, and had my hands richly decorated before a wedding.

I absolutely love my Muslim neighbors, and I'll be sad to move away from them tomorrow.

 

[Zhantera]

I avoid people in general like the plague, and that includes my neighbors. My current ones have been there for about four months now and I have yet to see them. I have been known to climb out my bedroom window to avoid the front door. It could be construed as me being rude, and it normally is taken that way, but it's really that talking is horribly painful and I avoid it at most costs. I do wish I could be more outgoing, at least to be able to say hello..but I just can't. Even when I had roommates, I would keep a coffee pot, bottled water and boxed food items in my room and just leave my room when they were gone. Blah. I wish I was different.

 

[Jenisautistic]

I've always felt this way: Hoping the neighbors aren't out when I have to walk outside to do something. Have a new house now with attached garage so I can enter and exit my car without being seen. I always hope nobody's out there to see me when I have to go out to set up the lawn sprinkler, and in previous residences, when I walked out to get the mail or toss the garbage. I'd do it at night so as not to be seen. New house has mailboxes a block away around a corner, and trash gets picked up, but make sure to take it to the curb after dark.

I might sound like a little scaredy cat, but I can be confrontational with gruff or incompetent people and quite outspoken and vocal. But that's business. When it comes to social stuff, I like to be invisible and not noticed. Though at the store yesterday I was chatty with the friendly cashier.

Can anyone relate?

Yes I can totally relate I live in an apartment even if I wanted there's too many people to talk to and I have no idea what to say even if I could

 

[Nick12]

i never realy though about the subject maby i can be more frendly with my neighbors now i will now quote mr roger it a beautifull day in the neighborhood

 

[Bolletje]

When I shared a flat as a student I tried to avoid my flat mates at all cost because I had no idea what to say to them and I was afraid they would ask me to hang out. I would even listen for footsteps before going to the bathroom. It was a miserable time.

I can’t really avoid my neighbors here and don’t mind talking to most of them, but there are one or two I try to avoid making eye contact with when I’m on the street because I know they will try to strike up a conversation and won’t stop. And the conversation will often be rants full of discrimination against (spin the wheel of minorities).

 

[Alaric593]

No. They're solid people. One has two girls who play with my daughter, one has a toddler. The guy behind us just moved in so I haven't met him yet.

 

[Aspychata]

Just had a lady come up to me and be kinda of pushy which l didn't like. She lives a block away. I sorta talked over her, instead of to her, because l don't want to talk to her. Success - she now no longer talks to me.

 

[Orange Glasses]

I like people, but I do not like having neighbors. Unfortunately, many do not understand (or care) that their screaming children or barking dog may interfere with others solitude.

Thankfully I have the means to essentially eliminate this issue by living on large properties.

 

[Judge]

I suspect for most of us that living in any multi-unit environment is going to be a challenge. Where you either learn to tolerate routine sounds or end up moving to another place where you inevitably encounter the same thing. And for the worst-case situations, have a pair of ear-protectors available that you can put on for limited amounts of time. Comes in real handy for the carpet cleaner personnel and the landscapers with their leaf blowers.

For the most part while I consider my present place relatively quiet, I know from bitter experience that it can change on a dime. Where a single tenant can ruin whatever sense of peace and solitude you may have.

 

[GrownupGirl]

My neighbors seem to just keep to themselves as much as I do 99% of the time.