Ste11aeres
Well-Known Member
I don't cry for death.
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Same. I'm a bottler too.I very rarely cry. As a child for some reason I adopted the attitude that crying is weak, for those who aren't strong, etc. I still get quite impatient and uncomfortable with crying, and I'm ashamed of myself when I do cry. For me, it's what happens after about 5 months of bottling everything inside, (I'm a "bottler").
Oh goodness... I hope your pastor will be okay. There was a darling old pastor I knew most of my young life and I was terribly upset when he died. He was 92, so I couldn't complain about it, but it still hurt. He had a huge influence on my opinions of kindness, acceptance, and how to be a good person. I've never known a gentler man.
I have a delayed reaction to deaths. I think it's some weird play of balance and sense of responsibility. During the initial shock, everybody I know is upset and needing support. I instinctively suppress my emotions and focus on them. When they're more under control, I take my turn, like I'm rationing out our turns to grieve. I have no idea why I've worked out that way. It's a bit quicker with pets though. I guess because I know they aren't going to be as attached and devastated with a dog like they would a person, so I let go much sooner. When I had to have my cat put down (again, 17, couldn't complain about a short life), I wore my sunglasses all day so nobody would know how bad it tore me up.
Other than that, I don't cry much. I may during a really stressful argument, or if I have a bad memory plaguing me for days, but I don't cry around people much. I can go a few months between crying if it's just me and my issues. Some shows and stories are trying, but I can keep it reined in until I'm by myself.
He's still in the hospital...he's way too young for this sort of thing (just in his mid-50's) and takes good care of himself.
His speech has cleared up, and he seems to be thinking pretty clearly, all things considered. Emotionally he seems more distant than usual, at least in person. And last I heard, he still doesn't have much movement in his left side. I'm planning to go see him again tomorrow. They're looking for a rehab placement now.
Double condolences. My sister had one miscarriage, and that was an awful blow. I can understand not mourning a pet with something like that on your mind.This sounds similar to my experiences. It's like I keep everything at a distance until the necessities are dealt with, then slowly the reality starts to seep in. Sometimes it takes years. I had a professor in grad school who was pregnant and died during childbirth right at the end of the semester. I've slowly been mourning her death off and on for 20 years now.
When I lost a baby to miscarriage a few years ago, though, it was different, especially the first of the two. It hit a lot sooner, and a lot harder. I had no idea I could hurt so much.
Losing pets doesn't really bother me, though. My DH was really torn up each time we've lost a dog (3 during our 20 years of marriage), but I only cried for the first one. And that one, I only cried once. The other two died about the same time as my two miscarriages, and honestly, I just couldn't be bothered about a dog when I was grieving the loss of my babies.
Just curious, does it make your throat really hurt? I don't know if it's normal hurt or Aspie overachieving nerve-endings hurt, but whenever my throat "gets a lump" is when I get my biggest urge to suppress it.About the same here. If I cry at all, it's usually just a couple of tears, and I guess that scares me or something, and I have to stuff it back in.
I don't know if it helps with very fine motor functions like artistry, but the outlook for stroke patients is much cheerier than it used to be. I don't know if the robot and heavy exercise is still in testing or starting to spread to rehab centers
Just curious, does it make your throat really hurt? I don't know if it's normal hurt or Aspie overachieving nerve-endings hurt, but whenever my throat "gets a lump" is when I get my biggest urge to suppress it.
My pastor had a stroke yesterday morning. It's pretty serious. He is greatly loved and admired in our small church. He's the closest I've ever had to a healthy father, even though I don't get to spend a lot of time with him. But I haven't cried yet. I rarely cry. I spent all day at the hospital yesterday, and mostly was just numb. Is this an aspie thing?
I find myself mostly mourning the impact this will have on his life and his family...his children are grown but still pretty young. He owns his own business...no idea yet how long until he can go back to work, if at all. He loves playing golf and playing the guitar...he may never do either again.
But he's a fighter--I've never known someone so committed to LIFE.