Do you ever cry?

[DogwoodTree]

My pastor had a stroke yesterday morning. It's pretty serious. He is greatly loved and admired in our small church. He's the closest I've ever had to a healthy father, even though I don't get to spend a lot of time with him. But I haven't cried yet. I rarely cry. I spent all day at the hospital yesterday, and mostly was just numb. Is this an aspie thing?

I find myself mostly mourning the impact this will have on his life and his family...his children are grown but still pretty young. He owns his own business...no idea yet how long until he can go back to work, if at all. He loves playing golf and playing the guitar...he may never do either again.

But he's a fighter--I've never known someone so committed to LIFE.

 

[The Penguin]

I wouldn't consider not crying as a aspie thing. I already cried today due to hard events going on for my life. I sure there other members on here cry as well.

 

[Daniel]

I cry, but it's more for myself than in response to external things. It takes me a while to recognize what my emotions are doing. Then--boom--floodgates open.

 

[Kari Suttle]

I've found that in bad situations where i would think i should cry - like when my cat died or when the old lady next door who was like a second grandmother to me died - i dont cry. I dont even feel anything towards the situation, im just numb. Same thing happened when my dad left for a few days - we didn't think he'd come back but lo and behold a few days later he did. I rarely cry unless i'm feeling really depressed and broken and then i cry often but apart from that, im not a crier. I feel very strongly of course, i just don't cry very easily.

 

[Ereth]

Everyone grieves or receives bad news differently. It's not really an "Aspie or not Aspie" situation.

 

[Hidden]

I very rarely cry. As a child for some reason I adopted the attitude that crying is weak, for those who aren't strong, etc. I still get quite impatient and uncomfortable with crying, and I'm ashamed of myself when I do cry. For me, it's what happens after about 5 months of bottling everything inside, (I'm a "bottler").

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

I think this sort of thing is something that everyone deals with differently. I cry all the time, when I'm tired, stressed, angry, sad etc. etc. But when someone I care for dies I don't cry, I don't really feel anything aside for discomfort at other peoples grief. When my granddad died when I was 9 I wasn't sad, but I felt awful that my mum and sister were very upset, seeing people I care for cry is somehow physically painful for me. I didn't feel anything when my Gran had a stroke a few years later (which she has mostly recovered from). When my much adored cat died last year I didn't feel anything either.

You could be in shock, you could be subconsciously suppressing your reaction, you could be dealing with your feelings in some way which isn't obvious, or you could be the sort of person who doesn't grieve. After my cat died I did some research and found several studies that show that many people simply don't grieve at all.

 

[Axeman52]

as a kid, I used to cry whenever something went wrong. I couldn't control it, it's not like I was crying just to try and manipulate people into giving me what I wanted and things like that, It was just the way I reacted to everything that happened that I perceived to be bad.

Then around the time I reached the age of about 12-13 I learned to control it a bit (kinda needed to when I got into high school, crying in high school makes you a target, I know all too well), so there were times when I really really felt the urge to cry but I was able to repress it, and then eventually, it just kind of stopped happening all together. I hardly ever cry now - I hardly ever even get the urge to cry about anything, at least not strongly enough for me to really notice it.

 

[Peace]

I cry. I cry at movies, sad or happy. I cry when I am really sad, which is rare and I cry often times for no reason. I do not however, cry at sad events, like a death. I too feel numb. I do believe this is an Aspie thing. I think it is what people refer to as us not being Empathetic. Maybe I am wrong.
I grew up in a home where my dad's idea was that men do not cry. It was a sign of weakness to him, as ridiculous as that is. If I cried, he would get mad and act accordingly. This did not change how I felt however, as I always knew he was wrong.
It is not only OK to cry, it is healthy to do so if that is what you feel.

 

[Kari Suttle]

I do not however, cry at sad events, like a death. I too feel numb. I do believe this is an Aspie thing. I think it is what people refer to as us not being Empathetic. Maybe I am wrong.

I agree, to an extent. I know there's probably plenty of people out there who just don't cry easy or don't grieve or whatnot, but for me i think its probably at least partially an aspie thing. With death especially, as horrible as this probably sounds, i might feel like oh i miss them a little or oh it'll be weird not seeing them now (if it was sudden) but its really just that. To me its always been a fact of life that i just have to accept and go on from there. No point being overwhelmingly sad and crying about something like that, i get like that enough about my own bottled up feelings sometimes. That's why i say its at least partially an aspie thing for me - the literalness, the bluntless, of that perspective just screams aspie to me.

Yet, ironically enough, as a kid i cried so easily. Every time i got in trouble, i'd cry, and then ten minutes later i'd still be crying and my mom would get mad at me for still be crying and so of course i'd just cry more or try and fail to stop crying. Now i just cry when i've bottled up too much **** or if i'm really really overwhelmed or depressed.

 

[Aidan49]

I don't cry.

 

[SyAn]

Oh yes, I cry very easily, sad events around me, on the news, in a movie . . . it possibly has to do with tension release.

The worst is when I see or feel (I can hear it in their voice) someone else cry, then I have a massively hard time not to cry with them. Which is why I cannot go to funerals for example (I used to do the music in church) as I will cry even if the person is a total stranger.

I wish I would know how to stop that as it can become embarrassing, have tried several methods but never found a reliable one

 

[karla]

I do cry, however I feel uncomfortable crying infront of other people. I don´t cry that easily, but some things just get me going, and for me it is a relief.

 

[dregj]

dont cry for some reason
thoughi probably should some times
did not for my mother's death
or father insanity
not for anything


maybe i should watch a chick flick(i could cry at the appalling acting

 

[Etzelaire]

I have to be really depressed to cry. More than when my granddad passed away or any of my pets. When someone dies I only think about the pragmatic consequences it'll unleash, no feelings at all.

 

[Randomperson]

I am broken so occasionally tears do leak out of the broken parts.

 

[Spam]

I find that I often have an urge to cry. Sometimes, for no reason. When I was younger I didn't know how to self soothe and I think it has followed me into adult-hood. However, I don't cry in public unless I get really really upset and I'm so drained that all I can do is cry aha. But even in the slightest stressful or inconvient times I do feel a need to cry.

 

[Harrison]

In my home, yes, I can cry at a movie, song or even an advert. Out and about, no, although the other day a little girl (8) brought tears when she said I was an angel sent by her (dead) mother to help her daddy mend his car.

 

[Zjezdzaj]

I cry about the strangest things, a lonely streetlight, something on the news(but only when I retell it to someone, not usually while I’m actually watching it) or dead animals in a movies… but the things that should make me cry seem to not have that effect.
I used to scream and cry a lot as a child and as soon as I get angry about something the tears well up.

 

[Simples]

I don't cry, not through being devoid of emotion (as various stigma imply), I'm just unable to and have not for as long as I can remember
Eyes a bit watery after eating or drinking something and having it "go down the wrong end" is as close as it gets.