Do you cyberstalk?

[GadAbout]

I realize that if you do, you might not want to admit it.

I live vicariously through other people, I guess you could say. Anyway, I have lived in a number of different places, and don't keep in touch with the people I knew back then. But I often look them up on the Internet to see what's going on in their lives.

Now, I never harass anybody, in fact I never even contact them. I only see what they have made visible to be seen, say on a public Facebook page. It's just that I'm curious how their lives are turning out. For an autistic person like me, it's less draining than actually being in touch with them. And I'm a lousy friend, so they aren't missing much.

Anybody else do this?

 

[Judge]

Consider the legal definition of cyberstalking. One which involves intentional and persistent harassment. Simply looking up existing online data on people you may or may not know does not constitute cyberstalking.

Though at times it's unnerving to discover just how much is out there on most of us. Often information provided without our actual consent. Whether accurate or not.

 

[Pats]

I don't think that would be considered cyber stalking unless you're watching them. It's no different than asking someone "How's this person doing?" So you want to know how someone is doing or what they're up to without having to make contact. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[GadAbout]

Though at times it's unnerving to discover just how much is out there on most of us. Often information provided without our actual consent. Whether accurate or not.

Yes I know, according to one source I am a senior mechanical engineer at a telecomm firm.... WRONG!

 

[Judge]

Yes I know, according to one source I am a senior mechanical engineer at a telecomm firm.... WRONG!

It is reassuring that in some cases, some of these alleged "sources" have gotten sued over their negligence to post facts and not fiction.

What really irks me at times are the scammers who call based on my allegedly knowing someone that I never even heard of ! But the Internet says otherwise, so it must be true.

 

[Tom]

I've done that, look up old friends. Sometimes I think about contacting them but never have decided to actually do it. Aspie shyness I would guess. I don't think there is anything wrong with it. You are not following them. Just trying to catch up and see how they are doing without the nervousness of actually making a call, etc.

 

[WildCat]

I wouldn't consider taking a peek at another person's Facebook cyberstalking at all, especially if any information is made public and not kept private. The way I look at it, if someone's really concerned about that the responsibility falls on them first to correct it, but sometimes it might be too late to do something about it.

Guilty of this? Yes, but all it is and was is a matter of curiosity and nothing more, and it's not like I make a habit of it anyways.

 

[Nervous Rex]

I have taken the occasional peek at someone's facebook account to see what they're up to, but I don't repeatedly return for regular updates.

For most everyone new here that says something interesting, I check out their information page to get an idea of who they are. I've tried out the "following" feature on this site, but I really don't get it.

In private conversations with people on this site, I'm always worried about whether I'm saying too much or carrying on with the topic after the topic is "finished", so I tend to err on the quiet side.

 

[Bolletje]

No, but I did. I used to check up on people regularly. I had a love affair with a guy I met literally on the other side of the earth, 16 hours by plane. We were supposed to get together again but that got cut short when I got sick and wasn’t allowed to fly. We talked for a while but then he stopped talking and I regularly checked his Facebook to see how he was doing. He got married pretty quickly after I told him I wasn’t coming. He got divorced pretty quickly too. Then he disappeared off of Facebook for two years and people on his timeline were genuinely concerned he might have died. I checked regularly because I got concerned as well. He popped back up after a time and my concern was eased, then I stopped checking. I used to look up past flings I hadn’t talked to for a while as well, mostly while single and drunk.

I don’t keep in touch with my most recent ex on Facebook. I did this on purpose because he kept commenting on everything I posted and kept sending me messages. I know some of what happens in his life because I used to be friends with his new girlfriend. I’m just not that interested in how he is doing. He seems to be happy -he told me so when he messaged me through his girlfriend’s account - and that’s all I care to know. They have a baby now, which I know because my best friend told me. I’m happy for them but other than that I don’t care much. That part of my life is over.

These days I don’t look people up. Most of my Facebook friends are ignored on my timeline because their daily stories annoy me or just don’t interest me. My boyfriend isn’t active on social media, plus I trust him enough not to check out what’s happening on his page or his activity. I’m in touch with a lot of his friends, but that’s mostly because he’s bad at replying and they know that the quickest way to contact him is through me. The exception is one of his friends who keeps sending me pictures of voluptuous women because he knows that’s my type of woman. I’m still figuring out what that is all about.

 

[onlything]

Nah. I don't really do what you described either. Simply not interested in the lives of people outside my closest circle and with the circle I just ask or observe during meetings.

 

[Misery]

This would require me having the slightest bit of interest in what other people do, so.... no. I just know that whatever they're up to, it's probably fantastically boring and/or stupid, and that's it.

Not that I use Facederp anyway.

 

[All-Rounder]

It is reassuring that in some cases, some of these alleged "sources" have gotten sued over their negligence to post facts and not fiction.

What really irks me at times are the scammers who call based on my allegedly knowing someone that I never even heard of ! But the Internet says otherwise, so it must be true.

'I know who you are. You are Mr Stunky's wife. If you don't tell him to deliver the package til 8 we will swat your dolphin land neighbouring mansion.'

 

[hatfullofrain]

I wouldn't consider taking a peek at another person's Facebook cyberstalking at all, especially if any information is made public and not kept private. The way I look at it, if someone's really concerned about that the responsibility falls on them first to correct it, but sometimes it might be too late to do something about it.

Guilty of this? Yes, but all it is and was is a matter of curiosity and nothing more, and it's not like I make a habit of it anyways.

I agree.

My problem is any cute guys I meet never use social media, so I can't even look up their Facebook account etc. Not so handy when they live in the next city over and you forgot to ask for their phone number.

 

[Aspychata]

Think it isn't good to obsess about people. The only reason l will catch up is because l get the feeling something major happened in their life.

But l do like to stay up on my music interests and see if they have new albums.

 

[Fino]

I only do stuff like that to see who from high-school got fat.

 

[tducey]

I do it as well.

 

[TracyDraws]

I realize that if you do, you might not want to admit it.

I live vicariously through other people, I guess you could say. Anyway, I have lived in a number of different places, and don't keep in touch with the people I knew back then. But I often look them up on the Internet to see what's going on in their lives.

Now, I never harass anybody, in fact I never even contact them. I only see what they have made visible to be seen, say on a public Facebook page. It's just that I'm curious how their lives are turning out. For an autistic person like me, it's less draining than actually being in touch with them. And I'm a lousy friend, so they aren't missing much.

Anybody else do this?

Ditto. Every day. It's just entertainment to me, although I'd never admit to doing it.

 

[rubicks52]

An author that I read goes by a pen name, and she was wondering if people would be able to figure out her real name. We have a mutual friend, so I was asked to try, and it turned out I could find her real name, address, family members, etc. I told her one easy thing to make it much harder to find that information, and she still hasn't changed it. Anyway, that's the most stalkerish thing I've ever done. I wouldn't have done it if she hadn't asked me to though.

 

[Ylva]

I usually don't want anything to do with people. Even the ones I know and care about can be too much. So most of the time I do the opposite, and "unfollow" people or block them just so I won't have to see their updates in my feed.

 

[SusanLR]

I don't have many people I care about finding out how it is going with them.
A few on Facebook. Like a cousin that lives in Nevada. A few people I don't have contact with
anymore. Out of interest. But, don't do it often.