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Do you care how others perceive you?

I try not to think about what others think of me, but it rarely works. I'm always conscious of what others think of me, to the point where I can't leave the house. Although saying that some days are better than others. If I'm having a bad day I'm so self conscious I can't do anything.
I'd like to say I don't, I try not no but yes I do. I go to a special needs 6th for which is part of a main stream school and hate the looks I get fro people when I am with certain wit certain people and yes know shouldn't care but do. Sometimes I just want to blend it.
Yep, all the time. It's annoying and I tell myself I shouldn't care... but I do. It's why it can take me hours to write a single E-mail, and many hours agonising over my interactions. I think for me I've suffered the consequences of people having the wrong perceptions of me, and that's stayed with me. When I was a kid I didn't know that people had perceptions, let alone of me!
@EstimatedProphet made really good points and posted the link to a very good read, that explains a lot, at least to me.
Thank you @EstimatedProphet!
Thankfully, I found the blog post wherein Cynthia Kim talks about shame. This is in Chapter 10 of her book. I think you will find it most helpful!

The One Where I Talk to Myself About Shame
 
Like the title suggests, I have lived my life fearing how others may perceive me and really putting on mask after mask after mask to try to please everybody.
At one point in my life, maybe mid to late thirties, I had a complete burnout!
That was when I decided I don't need friends anymore let alone toxic relatives, and just shut myself in with my immediate family. The more time that passed, the more revelations I had! I was able to analyze a lot of things in my life and found out that I was always trying to please somebody, even if it was completely against my nature to do so.
Nowadays , I care so much less, and even though I still have to rationalize to get myself to that state, I can do it!
I ask myself a series of questions, like why do I care what they think of me and such, and in the end (most times) I'm able to reach the 'healthy' conclusion.
Anybody else out there suffer from this?
Had this problem from age of 12 to age 60-something. That is when I first met some fellow Aspies on-line. They provided enough incentive to seek a formal diagnosis. Thankfully I had an understanding wife or she would have split long before this point. Once I understood the dynamics of my low to moderate Aspie condition, I began taking steps to overcome this sensitivity to other people's opinions of me. Most helpful was a Support Group that counseled me, "What other people think of you is none of your business." Focus on how you feel about yourself and work to make it a positive feeling. That helped a lot. Now at 70-something I may even be giving my NT acquaintances a reason to wonder what I may be thinking about them ;-)
 
I'm the same way. Lots of people in my town are very superficial and inconsiderate for other people; so I find I have to put on a mask constantly just so they can leave me the hell alone. Once I get the funds, I'm moving out of this place.
That Aspie anxiety and need to mask your true self exists only in your own mind. Moving to another place will only force you to deal with more of the same without the benefit of knowing the new people you are still forced to deal with on a daily basis. Instead of letting your psyche be grounded in other people's opinions, try assuring yourself that you are the best you can be today. If YOU see a need to make changes to your attitude or performance, then focus on that. Measure yourself against your own assessment and let other people worry about theirs.
 
That Aspie anxiety and need to mask your true self exists only in your own mind. Moving to another place will only force you to deal with more of the same without the benefit of knowing the new people you are still forced to deal with on a daily basis. Instead of letting your psyche be grounded in other people's opinions, try assuring yourself that you are the best you can be today. If YOU see a need to make changes to your attitude or performance, then focus on that. Measure yourself against your own assessment and let other people worry about theirs.
Thank you. I will take that into consideration for sure.
 
I used to, but I grew a thicker skin, I kind of had to once I started posting on forums on the Internet.

Although having said that, a small part of the reason I'm busting a gut trying to get a job is to shut people up who criticise me online for being a "drain on their taxes" because I'm on benefits! Newsflash, even if I get a job I'll still be on benefits because I can't work enough hours for it to be financially viable to come off them.
 
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I remember hearing when I was young, a victim of constant bullying, that "sticks and stones can break my bones, but names can never hurt me." But they always did.
 
Oh, I don't know...
I am afraid of consequences, I think. I can't stop thinking that I might not have pleased somebody enough. And I fear - I don't know what, but it is very mighty....
I am afraid of being hurt, I think. How can I 'grow a thicker skin', as Rich Allen calls it??? How?? My skin seems to get thinner and thinner! I think that I am heading towards a burnout, because I can't stop worrying constantly about doing things pleasantly for everybody and don't manage to care less for how people perceive me.
 
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Been there and done that. I used to be self-conscious to a fault, but as the days pass by and I grow older I'm finding the idea of leaving my mental states up to other human beings to decide wasn't a wise choice to begin with.

Stay strong to the rest of you who come across the worst of humanity, you're not the only one.
 
Oh, I don't know...
I am afraid of consequences, I think. I can't stop thinking that I might not have pleased somebody enough. And I fear - I don't know what, but it is very mighty....
I am afraid of being hurt, I think. How can I 'grow a thicker skin', as Rich Allen calls it??? How?? My skin seems to get thinner and thinner! I think that I am heading towards a burnout, because I can't stop worrying constantly about doing things pleasantly for everybody and don't manage to care less for how people perceive me.
Against popular belief, a lot of us seem to be more critical of ourselves than NTs can ever understand!
We are too hard on ourselves, most of the time we create a much worse picture of ourselves than anyone every sees us.
You have to constantly remind yourself of that, most people really don't care how you dress, talk, walk or whatever. YOU are the one who sees yourself that way, because you think there is a 'right' way and you don't know how to do it. I know, I've been there!
And even if some people choose to judge you, just let them, who cares?!!! You don't need them and their toxic influence in your life.
Fill your life with people who love you and accept you how you are, there are a lot of them out there!! That's what I did, I got rid of ALL those toxic people and never looked back.
I hope you are able to develop that thick skin, it takes a lot of practice and reminding yourself that you are awesome just the way you are!
 
Been there and done that. I used to be self-conscious to a fault, but as the days pass by and I grow older I'm finding the idea of leaving my mental states up to other human beings to decide wasn't a wise choice to begin with.

Stay strong to the rest of you who come across the worst of humanity, you're not the only one.
This really helped me today. Thankyou.
 
A thought: maybe the issue is that Aspies have to be very aware of other people's output if willing to understand them!
That might be the reason why many of us think that NTs look as close at our behavior da we at their communication.
Plus, we are generally used to, at least sometimes, say or do something wrong, and this makes us expect/ fear a bad situation every moment...
Maybe the first step should indeed be awareness that THEY don't care so much... ( It's just: sometimes they care a helluva lot...)
 
At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don't care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all.
ANN LANDERS

It's hard to keep in mind, but it's true that everyone is just wrapped up in their own existence, and what people think of them.

In addition, any opinions about a person are only rough ideas about the avatar like face and actions we portray. No one has any real understanding about anyone else. Often they have little understanding about themselves!
 
I'm so glad I realized I was putting on a mask when I was 15 and not later. I'm kind of a two-sided person. One part of me tries to blend in and do what I'm supposed to, and the other part of me wants to just act however I want and ignore what people think. I've been trying to let the second side show a little more. That's the side that comes naturally, and also the one I used to put all my energy into holding back.
 
I do care. I hate that I care but I would hate if I did not. I am always screwed. The best thing I can do is to NEVER EVER EVER let anyone in. I made the mistake this year. Let in one person and it's hard know because the got to know me and treat me odd now. No more. ever,
 
SHAME! That's the word I've lived with, without even knowing what it was!
Your whole post just resonated with me and all made sense. Thank you!!!

Goodness, Shame is my first name.
 

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