• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Do They See Something?

Hi,

I almost Always estimate people to be at least 5 years younger then they actually are. It got really akward once when I estimated the girlfriend of an friend of my to be 11 when he was 21. She turned out to be 22. If it is because people think you are short or something like that, you can dress to create the illusion that you are taller. just depends if that is worth it for you.
 
I look young but often get called the equivalent of "sir" and "mister". People also refer to me as a "man" (Sometimes woman, lady and miss, but that's another story). Very jarring. I am a grumpy grampa on the inside, though. I guess they see that?
 
Drakanav said:
I’m 18, but others think I’m 12 or 13.
It might be half of the problem why it’s hard for me to make friends. They probably just see a pre-teen girl.
Click to expand...

Hmmmm. I see. That makes more sense.

Though I could see that as being problematic in all sorts of ways.
 
I've been called "love" "dear" and "duck", but that was always more of an 'old man talking down to the wimenz' situation than being treated like a child. So cringey. As others have said I'd guess it's just that you look very young and are either pretty or very well mannered (or both).

I've always looked younger than I am, I still get IDed and then receive the "seriously?!" double take look when they see my birth date :rolleyes:
 
Maybe NTs simply assume their masks are part of themselves? It's not "childish" to not mask just because children don't mask. I do not act like a child, I act like me. Others can keep their associations to themselves.

The forced intimacy of pet names from strangers is creepy, but it's when they get in my face that they really gross me out.
 
Last edited:
First - I have earned way more gray hair than I have. :) But I've always been thought of as younger. (Well, not sure about now). Once a lady said I wasn't old enough to have kids - seeing car seats in my car. I told her the car seats were for my grandkids. She bout hit the ground.
But in my young days it really was a problem because, yes, it was harder to make friends my own age, and definitely was harder to get a boys attention when they thought I was still a minor but I was 20-30's.
 
I mostly just get called sir or avoided. I think my directness and the fact that the messed up nerves in my face give me a pretty expressionless look makes me scary IRL.
 
I'm 40 and one of my students estimated my age at 57, so no, definitely not haha. Enjoy it while it lasts I say.
 
I get spoken to as if I am younger too, a recent incident is when I went to vote a few months ago and got asked by a older man “is this your first time love?” the compulsory age in Australia to start voting is 18 and I am 36 years old.
 
Last edited:
When I was 13 people assumed I was older than I was. Probably because I am tall? Then in my 20s, people guessed my age as younger. Now I'm in my later 30s and people guess about right. Funny how it changes!
 
I think the newest Autistamatic video might provide a bit of insight. People are extremely highly tuned to identify that which is different. It’s impossible to put on a perfect mask. Even if it was possible it couldn’t possibly be healthy. Some people can just see through the mask better than others. And if they can’t see that it’s a mask, they can still tell something is different.
 
Gryphacus said:
People are extremely highly tuned to identify that which is different. It’s impossible to put on a perfect mask.
Click to expand...

And sometimes there are those who make a stink when they sense that you aren't one of them.

 
Last edited:
NothingToSeeHere said:
I've got called "duck" a couple of times in Norfolk, but as Streetwise said it's more common in the North West England. Norfolk in on the East coast.
Click to expand...

These are some of the most amazing things I've ever learned!

It's similar to how, today, I suddenly realized that the "and many more" after the birthday song refers to there being many more to come in the future, hopefully. :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
 
There's definitely a regional and gender biased aspect to such names. I've lived in a few areas of the UK and the local.dialect has it's own variance.
Where I grew up "luvver" was gender neutral, "maid" specifically female, and "met" (mate) or "bay" (boy). Further west "me 'andsome" or "me pretty", Further north "petal", even further north "pet".
In Wales I was "That English (word I'll leave to your imagination)" which I don't think was meant to be endearing...
 
Autistamatic said:
There's definitely a regional and gender biased aspect to such names. I've lived in a few areas of the UK and the local.dialect has it's own variance.
Where I grew up "luvver" was gender neutral, "maid" specifically female, and "met" (mate) or "bay" (boy). Further west "me 'andsome" or "me pretty", Further north "petal", even further north "pet".
In Wales I was "That English (word I'll leave to your imagination)" which I don't think was meant to be endearing...
Click to expand...

I'd never actually thought of "mate" as being the same sort of thing, but I suppose it is really. I call strangers "mate" all the time, it's normal in Leicester but I don't think it is around here (South coast), I hope I've not been making people as uncomfortable as I feel when people call me "love" or "dear"!

Autistamatic said:
Further west "me 'andsome" or "me pretty"
Click to expand...
tenor.gif
 
I agree with the people suggesting it is partly culture. I too have noticed that as I age (52) I get called sweetie by women in their thirties. It's odd but I just ignore it. I seem to have spent much of my life looking 18 so that as a young teen I could have passed for 18 but in my twenties and early thirties I still looked 18. I don't anymore-LOL but I am told I would easily pass for ten years younger. The only time I ever had someone respond to me as though I were childlike was a person I only communicated with online and by telephone. He actually told me that he found me childlike and that I inspired a desire to be protective. He was gay so I am fairly sure this was not a strange pick up line.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom