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Do people have friends?

no i believe Yeshua was nailed to the cross. I do not believe the Torah was nailed to the cross though. I think if you don't understand the tanach then you really will not know your identity or who Yeshua was/is/and will be.

I use old and new as fact . I do believe Yeshua is the savior and the son of Yah.

Oh and I don't think your mocking me we are told to have a reason for our faith and to be able to give a explanation which is my intention here.
 
REMINDER

For faith based topics/religious discussion please use the Religion area
.


This includes, but is not limited to: theism, atheism, agnosticism, Christianity, Judaism, the Torah, the Bible etc...
 
REMINDER

For faith based topics/religious discussion please use the Religion area
.


This includes, but is not limited to: theism, atheism, agnosticism, Christianity, Judaism, the Torah, the Bible etc...
Got it. I was just curious about what he was saying.
 
Do we/us as ASD have

FRIENDS [TV, USA, SITCOM]

like NT folk do?

Only sometimes, yes. Usually no. We usually burn all the bridges we had or else had none to get from the start.

Normies will discriminate against you bc We are all primates. If You smell funny, act weird, and dont understand the ___________ that everyone else does, then you are a potential adversary. So they will keep you at the WITHOUT, so they can feel safe.

I only feel safe around those I understand. Bok bok bok baqwuak!

Learn the "Golden Rule" in Latin. I treat you like I wish to be treated.

THEY ARE AFRAID OF US/WE/ASD

We can see behind the curtain. That freaks them out.

You dont want friends anyways. What you want is Allies. That you will understand. Alliance is based on Agreement.

"Friends" is a TV show. It's fake, all TV is fake. It's for pretend for normies that are alpha pred/pro. Those folks, use it to wind down, after a long day of being aggressive at work.

it's not for you tho, it's fake. Its pretend, totally made up. You shall not use that horrible example of how to say things to people that you want to be cooperative.

What you mean by [FRIENDS] is not well defined. What if you could have all you desire, just the way you wanted it? Over and over again and again?

What if you could have cooperation, social interaction that you actually liked, and a mutual support structure? What would it take to get you back and forth to class, or the new job or whatever it is that you NEED to go do this week? Laundromat? Drugstore? Appointments?

Your friends help you make up the plan. That's what we are here for. I sadly cannot just go and give you a ride, or help you move your couch, or feed your pets when you take a holiday.
You pay people to do those things.
 
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Peer to peer support allows you to compare a service plan with another who has a greater or varying degree of disability as do you. You get to hear about how much she pays to a reliable person to get a ride to the store. Or that he has learned how to do the UberTech, with a SmartFone and can use the phone to hail a cab, and push a button to pay for it.

We can teach you how she learned to be more self reliant, so you can reclaim your dignity, by developing your own plan. It's not that hard.

What I will do is get that Blessed bike done right. Then I can get to the bus stop, and rack the bike. Catch a ride. Go do the thing. What You really need today,
(We all do)
Is a bus pass. Driving is dangerous.

Your friends listen to you wine about how bad it is for you, then we teach you how to turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones. Its totally ok to talk about what's wrong, but that's left hand path, honestly. Because you risk venerating the obscene. Speaking of what is wrong guides intent away from success!

What we need to do for each other is take away the stumbling blocks.
Validate the issue, you want?
Teach me what to say please?

So you have to listen, to them whine alot, that's ok. It's like crying on your favorite teddy bear, if they ever let you have one. I dont mind having a soggy shirt collar.

See eventually your [FRIENDS] call you out, to become more than you are now. It's because they really love you. Your allies never will do that. Your allies are more concerned with expectations, payment, and performance.


It's like we who are your friends because we love you,(alot)

(since you are like us a little),

can show you a pattern of dance steps across a greasy floor, in the dark. So you can be well. And get to have all that you want,

Whether you need it or not?

You are supposed to pay for services, like transportation. And house cleaning, and repairs that need done, and laundry of course.

But what do you need done, and what can you do yourself
(you're wrong dude, you cant do that, it won't work) is a needful thing to know. Without a resource management scheme, you are done with and crunchy crispy, before you even start. Peer to peer support can address that. It's a boundary issue, trust me
 
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So no, you dont get to have friends, like from the tv, bc that is fake, TV is a marketing tool, it's supposed to condition you to buy things, that you never heard of. Real people are not like tv shows at all. It's super important to learn, seriously.

Why would you offer me money for a drink of water if you were my guest? Your friends guide you, they dont mow your lawn for you, they help you hire the right gardener. What do you want from me?
 
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Ever since I became a adult even before I knew I had autism I could not find/keep friends. Not sure if I got weirder or worse as a adult or no one noticed in high school and college because for the most part everyone is immature in those times? Which is why I am on here hoping to find a friend or two that is similar. I tried having them in the neurotypical world and it has not worked. Even family like cousins and stuff have grown apart.

Welcome to the club.

This phenomenon is quite common amongst the autistic population. It is a multi-factorial situation.

1. Many of us have difficulties with processing communication in a timely manner. I am knowledgeable on many topics and can lecture and monologue all day, but when it comes to the back-and-forth banter, my processing delays are quite apparent,...and if I am on the phone, it's like a built-in delay that leaves us confused and talking over each other. In a group discussion,...I am out on the sidelines. For me, it's not a knowledge or intelligence issue, it's clearly a communication processing issue.
2. Many of us have emotional empathy,...we wear our emotions, will cry with anyone, will tear up at a sad song or TV commercial. Cognitive empathy is often lacking though,...difficulties with reading people, perspective taking, most of the time, an "out-of-sight, out-of-mind" guidance with regards to the people in our lives. "Why don't you ever call or visit?" "How do you think that makes me feel?"
3. Many of us have difficulties initiating social contact. Some even avoid social contact. Some may even question whether or not they are even capable of love. Many of us will have an issue with our hypothalamus-to-posterior pituitary signaling. With that, the posterior pituitary is responsible, in part, for releasing the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin,...these are responsible for the euphoric feeling when you first meet that "special someone", it is responsible for mother-to-infant bonding, some call them the "love hormones". However, these hormones are responsible for initiating social contact, and also for the sense of "missing someone". Many of us are low in these hormones.
4. Some of us have had traumatic events such as sexual and emotional abuse from people who we should be able to trust,...and once that has been destroyed,...it is difficult to trust anyone.
5. Being a friend is a two-way street. It requires a commitment to each other. It requires communicating and doing things with each other frequently. It requires sharing personal, trusted, and confidential thoughts. It requires being able to read each other (cognitive empathy). Frankly, it is a lot of "work" in my mind because I have to force myself intellectually to have the mental discipline to be that person,...and if I have to force myself,...I am probably not going to do it over the long-term.

I am sure many of us have plenty of reasons for not having a "true" friend. I do think many of us get along just fine with other people, smile and laugh with other people, but never really make that "friend" connection. My co-workers,...a great bunch of people, we hit it off fine,...but nothing more. My family,...I've pretty much closed the chapter in that book and have moved forward. I generally don't have a "rear view mirror",...too much baggage,...dropped it off at the curb and moved on. Like I said, I don't miss people.

Usually when I see these threads on here, it is a younger person (under 30), and especially those who are concerned about being lonely after their high school years, trying to meet a boyfriend or girlfriend, whatever. Many have struggled with trying to fit in and be "normal" within the neurotypical world,...and to no surprise,...failed at some level. Most younger people (and their families) do not fully understand and appreciate all the anatomical and physiological differences within the autistic brain,...they can also fail at cognitive empathy,...and with that, fail to understand why they simply can't "learn" to act and be "normal". At some point, you simply have to accept yourself, know yourself, be self-aware,...then adapt and overcome. An autistic can "act" neurotypical, but it's acting,...nothing more,...some are good at it, others not so much. To use an analogy, basically, you're trying to load PC software onto a Mac. Both Mac and PC computers do most of the same operations,...but in different ways. PCs do certain things better than Macs,...and vice-versa.
 
"accept yourself, know yourself, be self-aware,...then adapt and overcome."

That is really the only way there is to cope with issues like autism. It is the only thing therapy can help you with. When I go on and on and on about philosophy, that is the end goal of a philosophical outlook.

There no drug that can fix it. The world is unlikely to modify itself for you. If you have quirks that others don't understand, you will always have quirks that others don't understand.

I like to say, "improvise, adapt, and overcome." It is, after all, the unofficial Marine Corps slogan.

I like it when you say you "throw away the rearview mirror." The past cannot be changed so why obsess over something you can do nothing about? Not letting the past poison the present is critical in mental health. Not an easy thing to do. Can take years to get anywhere with it. Most refuse to even try.

And what works for someone in the ASD1 classification may not work for someone in ASD2. Definitely won't work for ASD3.
 
Although I am not religious, the divine creator is my best friend.
What’s regards to socialising I do have some close friends and I know that there are strangers that I have not yet met who may well become close friends because I now engage in activities that I enjoy in a place where there are other people with like mind.
 
after witnessing a true Heartfelt conversation yesterday between 2-3 people I know why I don't have friends that was excruciating to hear about all the feelings stuff like nails on a chalkboard excruciating. It's weird my brain allows me to empathize with animals just not humans.
 
I like friends. The type that accept you for who you are unconditionally. Who actually like your quirks. Hard to find.

I tend to give more, than I receive in a relationship. People come to me, for my strengths. Then, if friendship, rather than client, they resent my advice for them to be powerful. I can be rather irritating if someone is enjoying using my energies because they choose to be a victim. It's one thing to have a past or a situation that was a hardship. It's another not to try to shake it off and get rid of those fleas.

I prefer an equal relationship, where someone has my back as well... where that empowerment works both ways.

My husband keeps pointing out: "You give so much in a relationship, but get very little. You should only be friends with those who offer you the same." He also tells me "You take lots of risks emotionally, making friends. Just acknowledge you might be hurt. That is the price."

Well that limits the field, to put it nicely.

Then you have the delivery of what I say to that potential friend... Truthful, blunt, and the impatience I convey, when I say... Let me help you? Would you like my opinion? They say yes (lol) and then I guess my Aspie flood of info is way too much for them. Ya ask me about something, I tell ya... Don't let the next words out of your mouth infer that you think I am some know it all.. ha... look up that info... grrr. Male friends handle it much better than female friends.

It shouldn't come crashing down just because I have info to share that they were not aware of. I am by nature the info gal. Oh that is an issue... here look at this and tell me what you think! Mainly areas of health care, nutrition and wellness (body), are my forte. That is why I did best when I created/organized a recreational pursuits group!
 
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I knew someone at work who referred me to her husband. He and I have become friends, and he appears to be an Aspie. They have two boys, one who has been diagnosed with ASD; the other may also be on the spectrum.

I find that I am too set in my ways for most people, even Aspies.
 
Just occured to me my closest friend whom I met in college may be an Aspie. his special interest is trees, knows the latin name for lots of them. years ago he bought small winery estate. tore out all the grape vines replanted with various fruit and nut trees. When we get together talk for hours.
Weird part his wife is a high school classmate of min, he met her when I invited him to my high school graduation we hung out at her place as part of a after party. he now has 5 daughters. YES we Can have friends get married just do it differently than NT's.
 
Just occured to me my closest friend whom I met in college may be an Aspie.
I have that suspicion regarding my girlfriend from way back when Jr High through High School. I wrote to her recently throwing out the word atypical as it applies to both of us. In her response she acknowledged an Atypical component. I will be seeing her upon our return to the US, and will definitely discuss that with her.

I had another friend, who could not stand being with the above friend. It was always a struggle with the NT saying how weird that person was and asking why we had to have her join us. I never gave in to the NT friend request to exclude, but it did indeed add to my effort for the evening. If anyone else were with us, such as a NT, that AT friend would skip out on us at a moments notice. Thus I had to make sure that we didn't separate at some point in the evening, particularly if in NYC.
 

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