Do people have friends?

[Skittlebisquit]

I have some friends but they live elsewhere. I am searching for a local friend but doubt it will prove successful, as, to put it nicely;
I do not fit in here.

"I'm goin where the climate suits my clothes..."

 

[Judge]

Perhaps more importantly is what one's definition of a "friend" really amounts to. Personally for the last 50 years I've felt that such a term was largely superficial in nature.

And that the pursuit and value of a perception of friendship is likened to the movie "10". Where the guy who thought he found the perfect woman as a "10" was really a "2".

In essence, you may ultimately discover that it's best not to put the concept of friendship on any pedestal. That person who would stick with you through "thick and thin" likely doesn't exist.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

A lot of you sound very similar to my brother, fellow Aspie, likes prefers to be alone. always likes when I come for a visit, we talk for hours

 

[watersprite]

Perhaps more importantly is what one's definition of a "friend" really amounts to. Personally for the last 50 years I've felt that such a term was largely superficial in nature.

And that the pursuit and value of a perception of friendship is likened to the movie "10". Where the guy who thought he found the perfect woman as a "10" was really a "2".

In essence, you may ultimately discover that it's best not to put the concept of friendship on any pedestal. That person who would stick with you through "thick and thin" likely doesn't exist.

Well yeah, but the question of the thread is not whether one should doubt the meaning of the term nor the exestential implications.
It remains a valid question, imho.

 

[Judge]

Well yeah, but the question of the thread is not whether one should doubt the meaning of the term nor the exestential implications.
It remains a valid question, imho.

In my own case I don't feel like I can adequately address such a question without establishing what truly constitutes the word "friend".

Though at the same time I can recognize how the pace of life combined with broad migration of working people has served to also erode a real meaning of friendship. Not to mention what social media and technology has done with the term.

I'm reminded of a scene in the movie "Tombstone" when Turkey Creek Johnson tells Doc Holliday, "Hell I have lots of friends." Where Doc honestly replies, "I don't". It's always resonated with me for some reason.

Probably because I identify with Doc Holliday far more than Turkey Creek Johnson.

 

[watersprite]

Not to mention what social media has done with the term

Good point.
Social media.
This & one other are the only social media I participate in, all the “biggies” never interested me otherwise.

And I admit I am pretty much chronically naive. After what just happened to me I’m perhaps less so.

 

[Judge]

If I truly use social media as a metric to determine friendship and popularity, clearly I am some kind of loser.

Though I freely admit that I have lost nearly all my adult friendships over the years due to people moving great distances to obtain or retain employment. Where once you're separated by hundreds or thousands of miles, the notion of keeping up with friends just evaporates for all parties concerned. Sad, but if anything IMO it's a sign of the times more than anything.

Ironic to consider that technology allows us to keep in touch, but without that in-person connection in real-time, it all seems to go to hell in a handbasket. There's nothing lonelier than reaching out to an old friend online, only to be blown off. As if they never knew you in the first place.

Yeah. It all leaves me coming full circle, having to ask what "a friend" really is.

 

[watersprite]

It is. And demands of us, if we so choose, a real practice of resilient, mindful and yet light-hearted friendliness with ourselves.

 

[SimonSays]

Yeah. It all leaves me coming full circle, having to ask what "a friend" really is.

Me too.

I thought that a friend was someone who wanted to spend time with me when there were other things/people they could do or be with, rather than only when they were at a loose end with time to kill. That seemed to define it quite well for me.
I wanted to spend time with them, hang out, laugh, watch stuff, spontaneously, without formality, sleep over, turn up unannounced, and always feel welcome. Come and go. Take something from the fridge without asking. Feel more like family should be (I never really had family).

 

[ucrenegade]

Perhaps more importantly is what one's definition of a "friend" really amounts to. Personally for the last 50 years I've felt that such a term was largely superficial in nature.

And that the pursuit and value of a perception of friendship is likened to the movie "10". Where the guy who thought he found the perfect woman as a "10" was really a "2".

In essence, you may ultimately discover that it's best not to put the concept of friendship on any pedestal. That person who would stick with you through "thick and thin" likely doesn't exist.

Well I do have a person that goes through thick and thin with me I call her wife. In honesty I was talking friends of the same sex I can not get.

 

[Judge]

Well I do have a person that goes through thick and thin with me I call her wife. In honesty I was talking friends of the same sex I can not get.

LOL. It wasn't the best of metaphors.

But no, I wasn't talking about wives or romantic relationships. I was just trying to quantitatively demonstrate that sometimes people revere friendship as a "10" only to discover it was a "2".

Had I been asked about friendship at say, six years old I might have quickly surmised it as a "10". But at the age of sixty-five, I'm afraid that with all my hindsight, the most I can muster would be a "2".

I used to be quite a "number cruncher" in finance. Guilty as charged.

 

[Bort]

I don't have a lot of good friends, but I do have some. So I guess it's more of a quality over quantity thing for me. It's not so much that I have difficulty in interacting with other people, it's more that I rarely feel a connection that makes me want to be friends with someone.

Sometimes I will become friends with someone, and we talk, hang out, and have fun, but then they never seem to reach out. They like being around me and I enjoy being around them, but I end up doing the reaching out all the time, and it becomes tiring/annoying being the one initiating things to do, then life happens and we eventually drift apart.

As an adult, it has become more difficult to make friends. People are either in relationships or getting married, and then I'm the single guy and they have couples/family things to do. I think once things get back to normal, I'll try to put myself out there more often.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

My wife is a NT most of her friends are family members like me she comes from a fairly large family
Suspect many here are from small famlies

 

[Fino]

Thank but i am not a christian I am a grafted in hebrew.

I wasn't Christian either. I was atheist. But I understand nonetheless. I will pray for you to find friends.

 

[Mulder]

As a child I had no problem befriending marginal kids or younger kids. Styed away from loud and aggressive kids. Even was able to bring kids together. Later on had no more than 1 or 2 friends at a time. But it all faded away. Not alone but have no friends and feeling lonely at times. Felt very familiar what others described or explained.

 

[Au Naturel]

I had friends in high school but I was too wrapped up in depression and selfishness to notice. Not the "let's spend lots of time together and share secrets" kind of friends. They were people I could set at a lunchroom table and play spades or hearts with during lunch and not feel like they were doing me a big favor. It was a kind of "big brains" lunch group.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Thank but i am not a christian I am a grafted in hebrew.

What does that mean?

A: You converted to Judaism

B: Fancy term for "messianic jewish" (which also means "christian")

C: Something else

 

[ucrenegade]

It means i believe in Yeshua but also the Torah. I don't think it was nailed to the cross. I keep sundown Friday to sundown Saturday as the sabbath. I also keep and honor the feasts of Leviticus 23. I am not Judaism because they essentially throw away the New Testament and I am not christian because they essentially throw away the Old Testament. I believe they are one book only man separates them into old and new. So I study the whole bible together as one not separate.

 

[crazyoldhermit]

In my own case I don't feel like I can adequately address such a question without establishing what truly constitutes the word "friend".

Though at the same time I can recognize how the pace of life combined with broad migration of working people has served to also erode a real meaning of friendship. Not to mention what social media and technology has done with the term.

I'm reminded of a scene in the movie "Tombstone" when Turkey Creek Johnson tells Doc Holliday, "Hell I have lots of friends." Where Doc honestly replies, "I don't". It's always resonated with me for some reason.

Probably because I identify with Doc Holliday far more than Turkey Creek Johnson.

I love that movie! Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday absolutely made the movie and yes, I identify with Doc Holliday too!

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

It means i believe in Yeshua but also the Torah. I don't think it was nailed to the cross. I keep sundown Friday to sundown Saturday as the sabbath. I also keep and honor the feasts of Leviticus 23. I am not Judaism because they essentially throw away the New Testament and I am not christian because they essentially throw away the Old Testament. I believe they are one book only man separates them into old and new. So I study the whole bible together as one not separate.

So I'm trying to understand. You don't believe Yeshua was nailed to the cross? Do you believe he is Ha Mashiach then? Or do you use the Brit Hadasha for a book of commentary, but not necessarily biblical fact? What do you think of the Tanach?

I'm not mocking you or accusing or anything. I'm just trying to understand.

I am genuinely curious.