Do others with autism have a low libido?

[Tom]

I suspected this as well. It creates an artificial and sometimes addictive situation. Real life is different.

I think physical intimacy is an important part of most relationships but not by any means the most important. My thinking is the basis of a good relationship is finding someone that cares about you and your needs as much as their own. That someone would not even try to compromise is a big red flag. I see a few red flags in this situation tbh.

 

[Aspychata]

What helps if you understand that both parties have to have the same drive which rarely happens in real life. Usually one or the other craves different amounts. So relationships are about compromise.

Or if you need 3 times daily , get a silicone doll, then it's totally on your terms, no condoms needed. Some men find this serves the purpose.

 

[Slim Jim]

Multiple times a day is excessive, multiple times a week is more normal.

But if it s a choice between a woman who wants it multiple items a day,and one who wants it only once a week. I know which once I'd prefer.

I've been told by somebody her ideal is "4 times a week." She actually got that specific!

Another woman could go morning afternoon night. Rest next day. Repeat. She was Blonde. If that mean s anything. Oh, and quite ...vocal.

Oh this is getting a lil bit personal now.... hot topic. I'm not hyper anything. But I'm a man, I'm ready to go, anytime, lol and I def don't have a low libido. I think I could handle pretty much anything. Only times when I was sick would it drop to virtually nothing. Any kind of illness, low morale, will destroy your libido.

Yes, this kind of incompatibility , doesn't speak much for longterm. Plus he sounds like he just wants to use you anyway. If you have a low libido, that just your biochemistry. And unless you take drugs, or something, not much you can do about that.

 

[Judge]

- The medical community defines what hyper sexuality is. Not about the whats, whys or how much so much as whether or not it interferes in one's day-to-day existence. No differently than other forms of addictive behavior. However it's all academic if it is contrary to a partner in a relationship. That it isn't about what constitutes too much or too little sex, but rather whether or not it's compatible with a particular person in a relationship.

"Hypersexuality is also known as compulsive sexual behavior disorder, or more commonly, simply sex addiction. When a person has an obsessive fixation on sex, sexual acts, and sexual fantasies, they might be hypersexual. This fixation is typically so severe that it might disrupt a person's daily functioning."

 

[Primrose]

Yes, this kind of incompatibility , doesn't speak much for longterm. Plus he sounds like he just wants to use you anyway. If you have a low libido, that just your biochemistry. And unless you take drugs, or something, not much you can do about that.

Yes, it's long term I'm hoping for.

Our friendship was nice, we could talk for hours about things and he is understanding about my issues. But he talks about ending contact with me when I don't like talking about sex so maybe you are right and he is really using me. It seems better to be single than being used for sex.

 

[Slim Jim]

I don't know all the facts. All I have is probabilities. Yes, being used by anybody, for anything, is generally not good. If you are not getting anything out of it, or feel you are giving more than taking. Or you feel there is an imbalance of some sort.

 

[Primrose]

That someone would not even try to compromise is a big red flag. I see a few red flags in this situation tbh.

Yes, I thought maybe we could have affection like hugging and cuddling instead sometimes but he is not happy with that and he says he needs the release it brings. So, no he won't compromise. You are right about the red flags and it's best to let him go, I think.

 

[Judge]

Yes, it's long term I'm hoping for.

Our friendship was nice, we could talk for hours about things and he is understanding about my issues. But he talks about ending contact with me when I don't like talking about sex so maybe you are right and he is really using me. It seems better to be single than being used for sex.

Yeah, if sex is really at the heart of what primarily motivates one in a relationship, I'd say that relationship is on thin ice.

 

[Slim Jim]

You're just not compatible. I can think of two solutions: Either A. You increase your libido to match his. Or B. he lowers his to match yours. (not gonna happen...lol..he's going to be very frustrated and resentful.)

 

[Primrose]

Yeah, if sex is really at the heart of what primarily motivates one in a relationship, I'd say that relationship is on thin ice.

I would have liked to keep the friendship. But he says it is too hard to be friends without sex so I guess that is what is at the heart of it.

 

[Judge]

I would have liked to keep the friendship. But he says it is too hard to be friends without sex so I guess that is what is at the heart of it.

Sadly his response just reinforces a need not to have any kind of relationship with him at all.

Otherwise he's just bad for your self-esteem. Why put it at risk ?

 

[Primrose]

Sadly his response just reinforces a need not to have any kind of relationship with him at all.

Otherwise he's just bad for your self-esteem. Why put it at risk ?

You are right. Thank you.

 

[Aspychata]

You are right. Thank you.

Sorry Primrose

Sometimes the person we meet, we really like, but for one reason or another the timing, or the maturity is off. Maybe 10 years later, his needs may decrease as they do when we age.

Since l have been awarded senior status, l notice a great cuppa of coffee gets me all excited. Iced mocha Cafe, l am in heaven.

 

[Magna]

Maybe 10 years later, his needs may decrease as they do when we age.

Unless he has pharmacological help, biologically it's pretty much inevitable...

 

[Magna]

Primrose had a legitimate reason for posting this topic that was also personal to Primrose. I think as participants in this thread we should keep comments on topic as such.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

Its so nice to see a group of people who have had social problems for not being normal, defining what is a normal and acceptable sexuality in others.

In spanish we have one word for sex, which is "sexo". And one word for having intimacy, which is "hacer el amor".

To me, my sexual drive is my responsability not my wife's. And her sexual drive is her responsability, not mine. Its not like we are unable to masturbate.

All this talk sounds to me like this:

• Honey! Honey! Im hungry, could you feed me. I need you to feed me 3 times a day.
• Cant you go to the fridge and satisfy your hunger yourself?
• No, honey. I cant. Its your duty to satisfy my needs....

So it seems like you need to agree how much times per week will you satisfy their sexual needs. That sounds like doing a contract, not like love.

Or maybe im so weird that I dont understand the contractual nature of love... Must be that. Even autists agree on having the need to satisfy your couple if their sexual needs are in the normal range.... Go figure...

 

[Primrose]

The guy I'm referring to in this thread knows I have autism and he suggested it is connected to my low libido. That is why I posted this thread.

 

[Magna]

The guy I'm referring to in this thread knows I have autism and he suggested it is connected to my low libido. That is why I posted this thread.

For what it's worth, I don't know if sex once per week or so would be considered "low libido". Certainly in your specific case related to that one person you're having an issue with in your own life your libido is lower than his. But hopefully you don't feel that your desire level is objectively low. I'm not a doctor, but I think it's very likely that your libido would be considered perfectly normal for your age, etc. Bottom line is that hopefully you don't think something is "wrong with you" in relation to this because there isn't.

 

[Primrose]

For what it's worth, I don't know if sex once per week or so would be considered "low libido". Certainly in your specific case related to that one person you're having an issue with in your own life your libido is lower than his. But hopefully you don't feel that your desire level is objectively low. I'm not a doctor, but I think it's very likely that your libido would be considered perfectly normal for your age, etc. Bottom line is that hopefully you don't think something is "wrong with you" in relation to this because there isn't.

Thanks. I was feeling there was something wrong with me and guilty because I couldn't offer him what he wants. But from the responses in this thread I'm feeling better. I think I'm just incompatibile with this guy and maybe both of us can find people we are better matched to.

 

[Taylor Baker]

I am aro-ace, and I get it on with myself more than anybody else ever will in their lifetime. XD

Sorry if that was too much information.