mlrock - you say that it is "generally rare that I manage to land a second date, often because my personality comes off too strong and I seem to want to get too 'physical' when all they want at most is to 'cuddle' and 'spoon.'"
Since you are aware that this is a problem, have you considered changing your behavior so that you don't come off so strong? My first date ever was with a guy who probably was on the spectrum and he behaved like he was a bull and I was a cow in heat. I am still, 40 years later, reeling from the shock of that experience. I came from a sheltered background where this sort of thing did not happen--and if it did, it was because the girl asked for it--and therefore there was NOBODY I could talk to about it, nobody at all. I don't know if this means anything to you at all, but please, think very hard before you just barge ahead with getting physical. Depending on the circumstance and depending on the person, you might end up having charges brought against you. I did not know until years later that I could have charged this guy with criminal sexual conduct. It doesn't have to be full penetrative intercourse, either, just touching someone on their genitals is enough. And once you wind up on the sex offender registry it will follow you the rest of your life. So, please, cool it, don't be so anxious to rush into it.
Since you are aware that this is a problem, have you considered changing your behavior so that you don't come off so strong? My first date ever was with a guy who probably was on the spectrum and he behaved like he was a bull and I was a cow in heat. I am still, 40 years later, reeling from the shock of that experience. I came from a sheltered background where this sort of thing did not happen--and if it did, it was because the girl asked for it--and therefore there was NOBODY I could talk to about it, nobody at all. I don't know if this means anything to you at all, but please, think very hard before you just barge ahead with getting physical. Depending on the circumstance and depending on the person, you might end up having charges brought against you. I did not know until years later that I could have charged this guy with criminal sexual conduct. It doesn't have to be full penetrative intercourse, either, just touching someone on their genitals is enough. And once you wind up on the sex offender registry it will follow you the rest of your life. So, please, cool it, don't be so anxious to rush into it.