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[Alan tm]

I am in distress.
I dont seem it to people around but I am .

I'm on social media and I try and keep communication open .
But it's a one way door .

Nobody is helping me.

A person I know is a few weeks from death .
I'm trying to help , also things are pushed on to me while all the time I just dont want to be there.

It's not a place I'd put myself .

I'm trying , at times I get caught up in details and people will say it doesn't matter in the big picture.
Then I seem cold .

People see me not reacting and think everything is ok .

It sort of is but also really isn't.

I feel upset but in sealed boxes that I don't let out.

Even terms I use seem odd ...this person . I've worked with for a year , I speak to almost every day till now.
I even went to the same school.

Things are going to get a lot worse.

The back up from the people I know is zero .

Even if explain a bit they freeze into silence.

Being in a social loop is difficult and seems worthless

 

[LucyPurrs]

Alan I'm so sorry you are in this situation which would be hard on anyone. Maybe expressing that you are upset about it would be a good thing. Is there anyone you can talk to? Can you tell your friend that you are upset about what's happening to him? That you care?

 

[Lichi]

Who is it important for you to know that you are upset about this situation? I would suggest you to write down how you feel about the situation in a letter or text and let them know. If it’s your social circle in general, I would suggest you to make an appropriate statement in a post. If people are generally interested in you not “acting right” in this situation they will be curious enough to seek out this information.

I don’t always get why people say we can’t see the big picture. Sometimes to me it appears we see the bigger picture. Life does go on after the death of other people. I do understand the significance of losing a person, not the reason to break out of our routines when we will have to go on with ours. Just a general thought from my side.

 

[Thinx]

This sounds tough I'm so sorry to hear your friend is near death. Do you know why people seem to freeze into silence, is it that you hold everything back then burst out with it? Or are they people who you don't know well? Can you find out how you are coming over to them and try to adjust and bit? Are they upset too perhaps? I hope you find a way to get out of this loop it sounds hard to cope with.

 

[Mary Anne]

A lot of people cannot deal with death. They do not know how to process it, react to it, or emotionally respond.

I was not sure if (1.) you are having difficulties sharing your feelings about death to others, or (2.) that others are not expressing feelings back after you shared with them, or (3.) that you feel burdened to help the person who is dying, and you do not want to be put in that position.

Which one is stressing you out?

 

[The Silly Farmer]

Forums are sort of an anonymous form of social media and you're opening up to like minded people on here right? It's good to talk and get things of your chest. I'm not sure if this is much help but I went to my uncles funeral a few weeks ago. Obviously my auntie and cousins were distraught. After the service I went to them and tried to say something to console them but hadn't a clue what to say so just gave them hugs and a handshake and pretty much said nothing. I think they really appreciated it though as they know what I'm like.

Some good advice above and if you wanted to talk more about it on here or through private message I'm sure we'll be happy to try and help. And I emphasize the word try when it comes to me as I'm no trained psychologist

 

[Alan tm]

Been a difficult week , I've been upset .
But i cant really place it to any active thinking .
I just am upset some how .

I thought my partner i saw yesterday might ask why I'm quiet but no .
That was as difficult as ever .

The separation in this world is vast .

It's Pointless hoping for help from a friends list.
My next friend is 45 miles away and that relationship isnt smooth .

I had an anxious fear of death in my 20s .

This isn't that.

 

[Alan tm]

All 3

Plus I'm not to good at working out what I feel .

And I'm feeling upset without thinking about anything

A lot of people cannot deal with death. They do not know how to process it, react to it, or emotionally respond.

I was not sure if (1.) you are having difficulties sharing your feelings about death to others, or (2.) that others are not expressing feelings back after you shared with them, or (3.) that you feel burdened to help the person who is dying, and you do not want to be put in that position.

Which one is stressing you out?