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diffrence reaction to autism in marrige?
- Thread starter yael
- Start date
I don't agree that an NT wife will necessarily be supportive of the AS partner and an NT husband not. First, of all, most of the NT spouses that complain about having "Cassandra" on internet forums and complain that AS in their partners makes them unable to "empathise" are women. It's true that Asperger's can be used against the AS partner if the NT is abusive but I know at least one example of woman abusing her husband in this way, even using "cassandra" as an excuse for her behaviour (the husband posted about this on Wrongplanet). On the other hand, I've seen plenty of examples in forum posts where the male NT partner was more understanding. It goes both ways.
Did you get these statistics from a research article of some sort or are you making them up for discussions sake?
There are no such statistics. I assume that she's talking about personal experience, not something that's based on actuals stats.
I have been married for 24 years and it was about 6 or so year's ago, that I first came across the word: aspergers and was shocked to discover that I was almost reading about myself!
My husband is a little better there days, but still sees it as a sort of mental illness and insists that if I try, I can change my way of behaving.
At first, I did not say anything about me being an aspie, because, after all, I read about it and realised there would be a lot of prejudice; but it was my husband, funnily enough, who got me to see that I get into obsessions very fast. One time he complained and said that it was annoying how obsessed I get and I tried to argue the point; I do not get obsessed and he said: oh yes you do! I mean: you get obsessed more times than I have hot dinners! So I did some research and goodness me, I recognised that indeed that is what happens. I am so focussed on said subject, that I live it and breath it and it takes something to almost like: switching on a light, for me to come out of it and then, I have lost complete interest.
Other very subtle things that say aspergers.
We don't talk about it so much now, but once in a while, I pipe up with: it could be related to me being an aspie and my husband does not dispute that anymore; probably because deep down he does see that I am, but is frightened that I will demand special treatment or something or make it an excuse to not do something and thus, in one aspect, that is positive, because it does cause me to not use my being an aspie to get out of things!
My husband is a little better there days, but still sees it as a sort of mental illness and insists that if I try, I can change my way of behaving.
At first, I did not say anything about me being an aspie, because, after all, I read about it and realised there would be a lot of prejudice; but it was my husband, funnily enough, who got me to see that I get into obsessions very fast. One time he complained and said that it was annoying how obsessed I get and I tried to argue the point; I do not get obsessed and he said: oh yes you do! I mean: you get obsessed more times than I have hot dinners! So I did some research and goodness me, I recognised that indeed that is what happens. I am so focussed on said subject, that I live it and breath it and it takes something to almost like: switching on a light, for me to come out of it and then, I have lost complete interest.
Other very subtle things that say aspergers.
We don't talk about it so much now, but once in a while, I pipe up with: it could be related to me being an aspie and my husband does not dispute that anymore; probably because deep down he does see that I am, but is frightened that I will demand special treatment or something or make it an excuse to not do something and thus, in one aspect, that is positive, because it does cause me to not use my being an aspie to get out of things!
it varies on diagnosis. whether the spouse accepts the man or man accepts woman for who she/he is. this is all in how the person feels about being with that person and their condition. there are many outcomes. but mostly its all in the comfortable atmosphere of the decision. all in all. good luck.
this the imppresion i got from a lot of reading i did,muby im wrong, i wont claim to be objactive
sorry to say sound very sad the way your husbad behaves.
