Difficulty making friends

[renee87]

I'm a 31 year old female in Georgia. I was diagnosed with autism back in 2014. Lately I have been having difficulty making friends. I have been struggling with this for quite some time now. I'm looking to meet some friends online who have the same problem as I do. I have hard time making friends in person, so I want to see if I can meet them online.

 

[Isadoorian]

I too have some problems making friends, but that's mainly because I mostly keep to myself, and also I have few hobbies/interests, a couple of my hobbies being convoluted.

I used to have a few friends back where i lived before, but I moved and they haven't really talked to me since (other things to do like work and all that jazz)

 

[renee87]

I too have some problems making friends, but that's mainly because I mostly keep to myself, and also I have few hobbies/interests, a couple of my hobbies being convoluted.

I used to have a few friends back where i lived before, but I moved and they haven't really talked to me since (other things to do like work and all that jazz)

oh ok, I keep to myself as well. I do have a few hobbies.

 

[Pats]

I've always had trouble making friends - just could never figure it out. It's been easy making friends here, though. But here people talk about real things and we don't have to get past the small talk stuff.
Where in Georgia? I moved back to NC from Georgia - lived in Dahlonega and then bought a house in Dawsonville (just an hour north of Atlanta). My ex still lives in the house.

 

[BraidedPony]

i can make an aquaintance fairly easily, but friendships are hard and then keeping them requires consistancy which i dont have.

 

[renee87]

i can make an aquaintance fairly easily, but friendships are hard and then keeping them requires consistancy which i dont have.

I understand

 

[Thinx]

Yes friends are statistically more likely to be NT. They are often more sociable than I am, almost inevitably. This makes it difficult to stay in touch and on the same wavelength. Have you tried joining an interest group? Having a common interest helps, in my experience.

 

[tlc]

I feel like I don't know how to make friends. The only friends I had were from childhood, one who moved here from Oklahoma into the house next to my grandma's, so we started doing things. And another guy only because he was a friend of the first guy.

But it doesn't really bother me because I also don't understand the point of traditional friendship. With my buddy, basically when the other one needs help with something, we work on it together because we like the same old cars and things. But that's about it. We might not talk for months otherwise.

 

[Pinkie B]

I think the people here are really friendly. I bet you could make lots of friends here!

 

[Progster]

I'm a 31 year old female in Georgia.

Do you mean Georgia USA or the country Georgia?

 

[Sarah S]

Warm welkome to the forums

As many others in here i also have had since i was little and still have major problems in making friends and id say my so called social life is 98 % on line - 1 % phone 1 % in reel life

 

[Suzanne]

My husband has said of me: you seem to be ok with making a friend, but you have no idea how to keep a friend. I feel both apply to me. For there have been times, I have truly liked someone and would love to continue, but I had no idea how and it NEVER occurred to me, to ask for their phone number lol and now I know why.

To be honest, the older I have got, the more DISICLINED I am to make friends and yet, I have one friend now and our friendship is great, because mostly we talk via whatsapp.

Oh and I learned how to communicate online through a young lady who took to me and she taught me so much about what friendship is and I used her as a sort of stepping stone ie mimicked her in many ways. I give an example. I would NEVER dream of saying to someone: where were you? Etc, but this friend did and it was the first time, someone demanded to know where I was etc and instead of feeling: back off; I felt so gratified and that told me I could do the same and I did.

It is easy to like someone as a friend; but it is a whole different picture, when it is talking about ongoing, because it is not all take and no give. Each party has to think of the other ( sort of like being in a marriage lol).

So, like it is said of finding romantic love ie stop seeking and it will arrive ( very contradictory, but actually spot on). When one stops worrying about making friends, suddenly they make a friend!

 

[Ken S.]

For the most part I actually prefer chatting with people on this forum. Most are more understanding than IRL and I can be in a quiet place to chat. I only have a few real life friends and don't do well in groups as I can't follow conversations if it's more than one on one.

 

[renee87]

Yes friends are statistically more likely to be NT. They are often more sociable than I am, almost inevitably. This makes it difficult to stay in touch and on the same wavelength. Have you tried joining an interest group? Having a common interest helps, in my experience.

No I never thought of joining an interest group that maybe something to think about.

 

[renee87]

Do you mean Georgia USA or the country Georgia?

Georgia usa

 

[renee87]

I think the people here are really friendly. I bet you could make lots of friends here!

ok, I hope so.

 

[renee87]

My husband has said of me: you seem to be ok with making a friend, but you have no idea how to keep a friend. I feel both apply to me. For there have been times, I have truly liked someone and would love to continue, but I had no idea how and it NEVER occurred to me, to ask for their phone number lol and now I know why.

To be honest, the older I have got, the more DISICLINED I am to make friends and yet, I have one friend now and our friendship is great, because mostly we talk via whatsapp.

Oh and I learned how to communicate online through a young lady who took to me and she taught me so much about what friendship is and I used her as a sort of stepping stone ie mimicked her in many ways. I give an example. I would NEVER dream of saying to someone: where were you? Etc, but this friend did and it was the first time, someone demanded to know where I was etc and instead of feeling: back off; I felt so gratified and that told me I could do the same and I did.

It is easy to like someone as a friend; but it is a whole different picture, when it is talking about ongoing, because it is not all take and no give. Each party has to think of the other ( sort of like being in a marriage lol).

So, like it is said of finding romantic love ie stop seeking and it will arrive ( very contradictory, but actually spot on). When one stops worrying about making friends, suddenly they make a friend!

wow I never thought of it that way.

 

[renee87]

For the most part I actually prefer chatting with people on this forum. Most are more understanding than IRL and I can be in a quiet place to chat. I only have a few real life friends and don't do well in groups as I can't follow conversations if it's more than one on one.

yeah I'm not very comfortable in groups.

 

[renee87]

Warm welkome to the forums

As many others in here i also have had since i was little and still have major problems in making friends and id say my so called social life is 98 % on line - 1 % phone 1 % in reel life

yeah my social life

Warm welkome to the forums

As many others in here i also have had since i was little and still have major problems in making friends and id say my so called social life is 98 % on line - 1 % phone 1 % in reel life

my social life is kind of non existent, I guess that's why I'm looking for friends online.

 

[Bronzelincolns]

interpersonal skills tend to require a bit more work for those on the spectrum. understanding social cues, non-verbal communication, sarcasm, etc, are more of a challange for non-NT individuals.

also, online socializing tends not to translate well to face-to-face socializing mostly due to the exchange being in real time unlike with online interaction.