NT seeking a clue
Member
Hi all
I'm new to this site today, but have been reading threads on here for a while, trying to gain some insight into the Aspie man I'm in love with.
We met in Feb of 2013. He was my new manager. Because he hadn't been given a sufficient handover, I helped in his new role to make things easier on him.
The first time he met me he was fumbling his words and couldn't really say more than 3 words whilst looking at me, things progresses and we developed a friendship.
By April we talked on the phone for an hour a day while I was working (general chit chat about work) and I had emergency surgery which was major.
He came to see me in hospital once. (Something he now says he would have done for everyone)
I returned to work after 4 months of recovery, and the company were not good to work for then. He pursued me, paid me so much attention and made me feel like we were perfectly the same in every way. He even mentioned that we must have been twins in a past life.
About a month later, due to the troubles with the workplace He told me he had resigned, so I decided to leave too. He had a new job to start and called me to tell me to apply as this small company needed someone else. I did, with my resume and his reference I got the position.
We have worked there for just over a year together now. I knew he was a shy and awkward person socially so I thought because he liked me but hadn't made physical advances, this was the only way he could think to keep me in his life.
Fast track a year now. We've spent literally thousands of hours on the phone, we would have 8 hour phone conversations, I wanted all along for it to progress to him coming round, which he would do maybe once every 3 months, it was awkward at times because he wouldn't make much eye contact, but I found his presence calming and liked been around him.
We talked about intimacy a lot and he would tell me about the number of women who are after him. He once mentioned that he wouldn't have sex before marriage but he contradicts himself so much that when he said he had slept with 5 or 6 women I thought the usual (don't know what's true, to myself). He has known for a year that I'm in live with him. He told me that he had never been in love before or really got to know a girl, told me he can't sleep in the same bed as anyone and would make ex gfs leave after sex.
We talked about kissing 4 months ago and he came to my house with the goal of me kissing him (he said he wouldn't initiate) I was shy by then so he told me to kiss him at the end of the night. I did and it was beautiful.
These visits have continued and progressed to sex, he will come, be beautiful and spend the next week berating me in the telephone, lashing out and telling me I'm not special to him.
The gentleness I have displayed along with copious patience and love over the last 18 months are being met with phsycological abuse to a big degree.
It's as though he can't let anything be nice, he always has to put a negative spin on anything positive and it hurts me so much. Everyone we work with thinks he is strange and asks me so many questions about him ( they don't know what's going on behind the scenes) and all I do is get defensive as I am protective of him.
I stopped my directors from having a talk to him 2 weeks ago about his 'arrogant behaviour' in team meetings, as I told them he may just disappear if they do, and his disabled clients love him. He doesn't know I did that or there was a problem.
He told me in derogatory terms that all I am to him is a pair of t**ts, when I objected and told him how much it hurt me, he backed it up by saying that when my clothes are off, I'm a piece of meat and when they're on I'm me.
The first time we were sexually intimate I swear he was a virgin.. He was a nervous wreck. He says he doesn't need sex at all. We have done it 6 or 7 times now and he got better (relaxed wise) each time.
He would say the most beautiful things to me while intimate, go home and spend the next week being so Nasty and mysoginistic to me. He ended our 'arrangement' (as he calls it) weekly, before I would ask him to come back. I hung up the phone on our last conversation a week and a half ago and he will now not talk to me.
He has said our arrangement is over again. Were at a bit of a stale mate now but I love him, I miss him but I hate the way he makes me feel about myself.
Is this behaviour typical of Aspie men? I have mentioned asburgers to him a few times but he calls me a dumb b**ch, the C word and says I'm the most selfish b**ch he has ever met.
Please tell me what I can do ?
I'm new to this site today, but have been reading threads on here for a while, trying to gain some insight into the Aspie man I'm in love with.
We met in Feb of 2013. He was my new manager. Because he hadn't been given a sufficient handover, I helped in his new role to make things easier on him.
The first time he met me he was fumbling his words and couldn't really say more than 3 words whilst looking at me, things progresses and we developed a friendship.
By April we talked on the phone for an hour a day while I was working (general chit chat about work) and I had emergency surgery which was major.
He came to see me in hospital once. (Something he now says he would have done for everyone)
I returned to work after 4 months of recovery, and the company were not good to work for then. He pursued me, paid me so much attention and made me feel like we were perfectly the same in every way. He even mentioned that we must have been twins in a past life.
About a month later, due to the troubles with the workplace He told me he had resigned, so I decided to leave too. He had a new job to start and called me to tell me to apply as this small company needed someone else. I did, with my resume and his reference I got the position.
We have worked there for just over a year together now. I knew he was a shy and awkward person socially so I thought because he liked me but hadn't made physical advances, this was the only way he could think to keep me in his life.
Fast track a year now. We've spent literally thousands of hours on the phone, we would have 8 hour phone conversations, I wanted all along for it to progress to him coming round, which he would do maybe once every 3 months, it was awkward at times because he wouldn't make much eye contact, but I found his presence calming and liked been around him.
We talked about intimacy a lot and he would tell me about the number of women who are after him. He once mentioned that he wouldn't have sex before marriage but he contradicts himself so much that when he said he had slept with 5 or 6 women I thought the usual (don't know what's true, to myself). He has known for a year that I'm in live with him. He told me that he had never been in love before or really got to know a girl, told me he can't sleep in the same bed as anyone and would make ex gfs leave after sex.
We talked about kissing 4 months ago and he came to my house with the goal of me kissing him (he said he wouldn't initiate) I was shy by then so he told me to kiss him at the end of the night. I did and it was beautiful.
These visits have continued and progressed to sex, he will come, be beautiful and spend the next week berating me in the telephone, lashing out and telling me I'm not special to him.
The gentleness I have displayed along with copious patience and love over the last 18 months are being met with phsycological abuse to a big degree.
It's as though he can't let anything be nice, he always has to put a negative spin on anything positive and it hurts me so much. Everyone we work with thinks he is strange and asks me so many questions about him ( they don't know what's going on behind the scenes) and all I do is get defensive as I am protective of him.
I stopped my directors from having a talk to him 2 weeks ago about his 'arrogant behaviour' in team meetings, as I told them he may just disappear if they do, and his disabled clients love him. He doesn't know I did that or there was a problem.
He told me in derogatory terms that all I am to him is a pair of t**ts, when I objected and told him how much it hurt me, he backed it up by saying that when my clothes are off, I'm a piece of meat and when they're on I'm me.
The first time we were sexually intimate I swear he was a virgin.. He was a nervous wreck. He says he doesn't need sex at all. We have done it 6 or 7 times now and he got better (relaxed wise) each time.
He would say the most beautiful things to me while intimate, go home and spend the next week being so Nasty and mysoginistic to me. He ended our 'arrangement' (as he calls it) weekly, before I would ask him to come back. I hung up the phone on our last conversation a week and a half ago and he will now not talk to me.
He has said our arrangement is over again. Were at a bit of a stale mate now but I love him, I miss him but I hate the way he makes me feel about myself.
Is this behaviour typical of Aspie men? I have mentioned asburgers to him a few times but he calls me a dumb b**ch, the C word and says I'm the most selfish b**ch he has ever met.
Please tell me what I can do ?
